


Everybody's Asking Questions

by Crivellone



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Chaptered, F/M, Funny, Past Abuse, Past eating disorder, Recovery, Romantic Comedy, Sad, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 06:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 93,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/619087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crivellone/pseuds/Crivellone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world knew him, and so did she. Although not personally. It was nearly impossible to escape his face, it was everywhere, on the television, on magazines, all over the internet, he was one of the most popular celebrities at the time. He'd been in the spotlight from a  young age, at sixteen he was placed into a band on the UK's X- Factor. The songs were not new to her ears, the stories and rumors weren't things she particularly knew much about, but she knew the things they said in the media. He was well known, well loved, and well hated. He was the pretty face she saw splattered across magazines along with four other beautiful faces, but that's all they were to her, faces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The world knew him, and so did she. Although not personally. It was nearly impossible to escape his face, it was everywhere, on the television, on magazines, all over the internet, he was one of the most popular celebrities at the time. He'd been in the spotlight from a young age, at sixteen he was placed into a band on the UK's X- Factor. The songs were not new to her ears, the stories and rumors weren't things she particularly knew much about, but she knew the things they said in the media. He was well known, well loved, and well hated. He was the pretty face she saw splattered across magazines along with four other beautiful faces, but that's all they were to her, faces.  
She had never thought of meeting the five boys in the famous boy band. It was just one of those things that isn't in the cards for some people, fame wasn't in her cards, meeting beautiful musicians wasn't in her cards, lots of things were not going to be dealt to her… but those first two are lies.

Nicole wasn't anywhere near typical. She was different, always had been. She was the girl at school who fit in with everyone but didn't have friends, she had people she knew and occasionally talked to. She was opinionated and wasn't afraid to say her piece. She could say what was on her mind about politics, gay rights, terrorism, anything she was passionate about, she could stand up and talk for an hour about how she felt on the given topic. But she was also the girl who fainted giving a speech in front of her class of less than 20 people.  
Nicole was someone who could have a million dollars and not act like it. Her ideal home was small, cozy and the kind a kid would want to grow up in with a happy family. Her dream was to be an english teacher for high school students, or go on to be a professor at a small college. Her life goal was to be happy, and to smile at least twice a day, genuinely. 

At eighteen Nicole's life was distorted once again, turned into something she'd never thought it'd be. Although for the first time in a long time, it wasn't distorted into something tragic, it was finally turned into something to smile about… for the most part.

 

She met him by an absolute miracle. It was literally miraculous to have met him. It started out pretty bad, Nicole being a damsel in distress. Visiting a close relative had taken a very scary turn. She'd gone up to Minneapolis to visit her cousin at his university, he attended a great art school and had wanted her to come see it and spend the day with him.  
It was a good day, spent catching up, eating at a little restaurant close to her cousins' apartment, taking pictures of all the buildings she took interest in, and enjoying the city.

However it was getting dark, so Nicole decided to head off to her hotel for the night. Normally this wouldn't be an issue for someone, except it was. Nicole was the person on the freeway in that obscenely awful car that makes you think "how is that car actually going 70mph and not falling apart?" She had the car that would just not start some days, or break down in the middle of intersections occasionally. But her father saw the car as just fine and thought he could fix anything that was wrong with it. The vehicle had been running quite normally for about two weeks, so she had thought it'd be fine to drive the four hours to the city… hopeful thinking that was.

It had taken about 20 full minutes before things went awry. A chugging sound, the progressive slowing of the car, lights going off, radio off, and heat cutting out. All signs of a terrible situation. It being -10 degrees outside and having no heat in the vehicle could go wrong really fast.  
And of course it'd be that her car would not be on a busy road, the street was barren aside from a massive semi that passed by her as her car was pulling to the side of the road. Along with her phone dying several minutes before leaving her cousins home and no alternative to call someone for help.  
There was no ability to turn her headlights back on, or even the flashers, because the button was broken for that and the battery must've died because it was pure darkness when she tried to turn her normal headlights on again.

For Nicole it was one of those moments where you know there is nothing you can do, no one to call, no one on the road, so she cried. She cried because she was scared being by herself on a road she didn't know in a place she was hardly even vaguely familiar with, and upset, because her father chose to get her this car and why couldn't he get her one that was actually not a death trap?  
She cried, and pounded on the steering wheel, and then cried more, until she just couldn't anymore. No cars passing by at all. She was freezing, shivering and chilled to the bone with the cold, so with being convinced that she was either going to die in her car tonight or be murdered by a hitchhiker, she gathered the blanket from her backseat, secured her mittens on her hands and tugged her hat firmly past her ears and got out of the vehicle.  
It was either walk for miles or wait for a car to pass by.  
Staying in the car or outside made no difference, it was equally as freezing in the car, so she climbed on top of her car, tucked her emergency blanket around her and covered herself from the deathly cold and waited. She waited for any sound of cars near by, watched for headlights, and prayed to God that someone would find her and save her from dying tonight, because that's what would happen, she'd die in the cold if no one found her tonight.

All hope was almost lost, but then the miraculous miracle happened. A car, headlights, hope, whooshing past… hope lost. And then tears, of anger, sadness, hopelessness… and then screeching tires, headlights blinding her vision… hope… fear, what if this person was going to kill her, rape her, kidnap her… more tears.

And then she was watching as two men got out of a big vehicle, normal looking men, non-creepy looking vehicle.  
The bigger guy from the front seat got to her first, taking her off the top of the car before she could even grasp what was happening, so cold and thinking "I might not die, I think I'm going to be okay."  
"Get her in the car, she's freezing." And then she was placed in a big warm vehicle and focused on _warm warm warm, not gonna die, oh my god I'm not going to die_  
She curled herself against the door and cried, because she was surrounded by warmth, and wasn't going to die tonight. Too focused on her life not ending, she hadn't even looked at the people who had saved her life, the two beautiful, life saving miracles that they were.

"Hey, it's alright, you don't have to cry. We're not going to hurt you, Love." She finally looked up, the voice she had heard was lovely, and so so genuine, and one hundred percent not American.

"Why were you sitting on your car? …Here put this on," the man beside her draped his jacket around her carefully, "Christ, your lips have turned blue." He was looking at her worriedly, and she was just seeing green, piercing yet soft green eyes, wide and worried and beautiful.

She took a deep breath, shivering and hoping to keep her teeth from clacking together, "It st-stopped working. I c-couldn't ca-all an-nyone, my phone d-died. No one could s-see me. I th-thought I was go-onna die tonight." Teeth clacking together and shivers aside, she got out what she could considering the state she was in.

"You're not going to die." The man with the green eyes moved closer to her on the seat, moving to put his arm around her to warm her up more, but she shied away, still afraid of being hurt despite what the man had said.  
"I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just trying to warm you up." She nodded and let him come closer again, pulling her into his arms and _warm warm warm,_ was all she cared about.

"Do you have any bags in your car? Anything you need?" The deep, slightly raspy voice cut through the silence again.  
"Y-yes."  
"Just grab what you see, Paul. Try to find her I.D. or something." The bigger man popped out of the vehicle again and then was at the back pushing bags into the trunk.

"Th-thank you." Nicole stuttered out her appreciation and melted back into the younger mans warmth simultaneously. The man hummed in response and then Paul, the older, bigger man was in the front seat, looking back to the younger man in the backseat, waiting for instruction on what to do.  
"Just take us to the hotel, Paul. I think she'll be okay once she's warm." The vehicle was in motion, finally leaving the wretched car behind.

"Nicole." She blurted, suddenly realizing the man next her had no idea what her name was.  
"Hmm?" The green eyes flicked down to her, questioning.  
"My name… I'm Nicole." The cherubic face broke into a smile, dimples poking into both cheeks, so warm, so lovely.  
"I'm Harry. Nice to meet you, Nicole." She smiled back at him lightly, still too cold to manage much more.  
"M'sorry if I ruined your night." The words slipped from her mouth without a second thought, unable to keep an apology to herself and taking note of his young age, he must've been on his way somewhere or busy this evening.  
"Not at all. I'm glad I found you. …How're you feeling? Still cold?" His concerned eyes washed over the girl tucked into his side.  
"Better. My hands…" Nicole held them up and they were pale as usual, but shaking quite harshly. Harry took her small hands in his, spreading his warmth through her cold skin. She hummed in response, the shaking settling and the warmth taking over.  
They sat like that for some time, long enough for Nicole's hands to be still and properly warm, the cold that had burrowed into her bones was easing up.  
As they drove further into the city flashes began, lots of them, bright and constant, loud voices shouting outside the vehicle.

"Can we get more security? Or find a back entrance? I don't want them getting pictures." Harry's voice was serious and Nicole was confused, unaware of why people would be getting pictures and who would want them.  
"Who's getting pictures?" She asked, looking up at Harry, confused and still clinging to his warmth.  
"Paps, I'm sorry." He looked down at Nicole, brushing hair from her face in a gentle manner.  
"Paps?" She questioned again, not fully understanding the situation. Harry didn't answer, just shook his head and brought his arms tighter around her and she let him, thankful for his warm body and comforting smell, it was easy to let go of whatever was happening outside of the vehicle.

The flashing dissipated as Paul pulled around the corner, the loud voices disappeared as well and then someone was opening the door for Nicole.  
Paul helped her out with a concerned, "Can you walk?" To which she gave a laugh, thinking she was fine, she wasn't five… but quickly stopped herself as her feet hit the pavement and she was unstable and her knees buckled, thankfully Paul was there, grabbing her by the waist and supporting her weight.  
She wanted to cry, she hated being the one taken care of rather than the care taker, and not having control over her own body was upsetting.  
"It's alright. We'll be inside in a minute." Paul's voice was soft and assuring as he spoke to Nicole, and she was so thankful for his existence because she knew she'd be dead if he hadn't found her.

"Here, let me take her, just make sure there's no paps and find the boys if you can, let them know I may be a bit late for dinner." Nicole was being passed off into Harry's arms and carried along into the hotel, which was the nicest she'd ever seen, the lobby was elegant and very very large.

"I have a hotel, I'll get a cab to pick me up. You shouldn't be late to dinner." Harry laughed, but tightened his grip on her.  
"If you think I'm going to let you get into a cab in your current state you're sadly mistaken. And dinner isn't a big deal, don't worry about it."  
"No, it's okay. I'm fine. I promise… I mean, thank you for helping me, but I just need a phone and then I can go. I don't need to be ruining your plans, you've done enough already." Nicole knew who he was now, seeing him in the light and the happenings with camera flashes before… it made sense.

"You're not fine, you could barely walk back there. We'll call your hotel, cancel your reservations, get a tow truck for your car and you can call whoever else you need to, okay?" Nicole huffed and looked away from Harry, although being in an elevator gave her eyes very little choice as to where to roam.  
"But your plans, I'm still ruining them. Just put me in a cab and I'll be fine." Harry laughs again and Nicole looks back at him, furrowing her brow.  
"I'm not putting you in a cab, my plans are fine. You've ruined nothing." Harry's voice is stern, but not mean, just strong enough to know he's not going to listen to her and she won't be getting her way.

Once the doors of the elevator open Harry carries Nicole down the corridor, looking for his room number and Nicole tries to find grip in her head as to what's happening and how.  
The struggle doesn't last long, as Harry's opening his door and carrying her inside, while she's astounded at the size and beauty of the room.

"I'm just going to set you down here." Harry says, bringing Nicole over to the large bed in the middle of the room, laying her down gently, like she'll break if he's too rough. 

"Do you need anything? Blanket? Food? Shower?" Nicole smiles and fights the heat in her cheeks at his niceness, and the way he's looking at her has her stomach knotting up nervously.  
"M'okay. Can't shower if I can't stand properly, so better write that one off until later." Harry chuckles, warm and deep and so so lovely.

"Right. Well, Paul will have your bags brought up here, but if you want to change into something warmer I can give you some sweats and a top." Harry's already rifling through a big suitcase on the floor by the bed, pulling out a pair of grey sweatpants and a white long sleeved shirt.

"Okay, but umm… since I would rather not fall on my face trying to get to the bathroom, could you help me?" Harry gives a smile, looking a bit sad over it, but he pulls his face together and hides it whilst thinking of how she'd just told him how 'fine' she was moments ago.  
Harry helps her up, wrapping an arm around her waist and making sure she's steady as he moves them forward. Her legs are shaky and still cold, but fairly stable.

"Just uh… call my name when you're done and I'll help you out." Nicole laughs, mostly at the ridiculousness of the situation and in a bitter manner as to how useless she feels.

Harry lets her in the bathroom and stands her by the countertop so she can have something to hold onto if she gets unsteady, and then sets the clothes out for her as well.  
She thanks him, earning a nod in return as he turns out of the bathroom. Nicole takes a deep breath once she's alone and then focuses on getting herself into warmer clothes.

It's only with slight difficulty that she gets dressed. Most of her leg movements under control, but she still falls trying to get into Harry's large sweatpants, the legs being several inches too long and the waist slipping past her hips even with them tied up tightly. She yells out an "I'M OKAY!" after falling, knowing Harry probably heard the thud she made against the floor.

On the other side of the door Harry's eyes go wide as he hears the fall and then he chuckles at the "I'M OKAY!" Nicole yells out.

Nicole makes the decision that she's able to walk herself out of the bathroom and heave the heavy door open, mindful of the long pant legs and loose waist as she exits.  
"I fell." She laughs as she approaches Harry, who rushes over and picks her up in one swift motion, carrying her to the bed and setting her down carefully.  
"I told you to call my name." Harry says, looking her over worriedly.  
"I could walk, Harry. Thank you though." Harry smiles at her, worry still in his green eyes, but fading as he sees she is okay.

"I feel pretty ridiculous in these." Nicole says, kicking her legs out and holding her arms out so Harry can see big his clothes are in comparison to her.  
"You look like you're drowning." Nicole laughs, because it does, she feels swallowed up by the warm fabrics.

"So I suppose you're wondering about before… what happened outside when we arrived." Harry's voice is suddenly serious, his face mirroring his intensity.  
"No." Nicole says, because she already knows why it all happened, figuring out as they were about to get into the elevator downstairs.  
"No?" Harry cocks an eyebrow and looks at her confusedly.  
"Yeah. No. I mean, I did at first… wonder I mean. But I know why now. It pieced together when we were in the lobby."  
Harry's face falls, seriousness fading to a mix between confusion and anger, "So you know then? …Great." The sarcasm in his voice is evident, as if the idea of her knowing who he is is toxic.  
"Don't sound so thrilled about it, jeez." Harry looks at her with a disbelieving expression and she bites back a laugh.  
"Look, it's pretty difficult to not know who you are alright? In case you were unaware, you're in a massive boy band, and I actually think you may be taking over the world, one tween at a time. Your face is literally on billboards, so pardon me for having eyes and recognizing it. And no, I didn't know who you were at first, I was a bit focused on not freezing to death or getting murdered by the stranger who put me in their car. But I do now, and after this, once I call my dad and get out of this god for saken city, I'll probably never see you again, because things like this don't happen to me, and you're you and it's the way it is."  
Harry looks at Nicole in disbelief, shocked by how she'd talked to him and barely knowing him.  
"Okay, you can stop looking at me like that, you act like I've just told the Pope to fuck off." Harry's eyes widen even more at her language.  
"Do you realize that no one has talked to me that way… ever." Harry looks almost hurt, making Nicole feel like a jerk.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a jerk, but you don't need to be concerned about me. I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. I won't be offended if we don't end up as friends o-"  
"Could you maybe stop talking for a second?" Harry interjects and laughs as Nicole frowns at him.  
"You act like you know exactly how things are going to pan out. I don't really know why that is, but please don't be so quick to assume that I'm the same guy on those billboards and in those magazines. And why couldn't we be friends? What's stopping it from happening?"  
"I wasn't assuming things because of what I've heard about you, you being… well, you, has little to nothing to do with it. But really, if you want to be my friend I'll give you fair warning, I'm a pretty shit friend, and I live in the middle of no where and unless you enjoy bars or churches you're going to be very bored, and I don't go to church nor do I drink, so you're already pretty fucked." Harry laughs, the kind of laugh that's a bit too loud but completely real and genuine, the kind that makes you hold your stomach and have to catch your breath.

"I'm sorry, but do you always talk like that?" Harry asks, watching Nicole's face fall into a confused expression.  
"Talk like what?"  
"I dunno, you're like… prematurely honest. Most people would be building themselves up to be really cool so I'll hang out with them, and you're just sitting here telling me that hanging out with you would be terrible. And you're seriously mistaking by the way, you're very entertaining. I actually wish Niall was here, he'd love you."  
"I apologize for my perfuse swearing, I would censor myself, but seeing as how you're a candidate for a future friend you'd figure out soon enough that I don't censor myself much."  
Harry smiles and nods, "I like the uncensored version of you just fine." Nicole can only mutter a small 'thanks' before there's a knock at the door.  
Harry gets up to answer it himself, leaving Nicole on the bed to wait.

"Thanks Paul. Did you find the guys?"  
"Yeah, they're all getting impatient, wondering what's keeping you from them. I just told them you may be a tad late."  
"Thanks, but you can tell them. Is Ed going to make it tonight?"  
"Yeah, he's already here. I'll go tell the boys what's going on, Niall's about to have a panic attack I think."  
"Just tell him I'm bringing a surprise to dinner. …did you get that tow truck?"  
"Already taken care of. Are you…" Harry cuts Paul off with the wave of a hand.  
"Yeah." Paul nods and leaves, Harry grabs the two bags off the floor and carries them further into the room.

"Got your bags." Harry says, setting them on the floor at the end of the bed, next to his own.  
"Thanks." Nicole says, suddenly quieter as she messes with the sleeves of the shirt she has on.

"So, are you hungry?" Harry asks, sitting on the other side of the bed.  
"Depends." Nicole looks at Harry, trying not to be awkward.  
"Depends on what?"  
"It depends on what and where I'm eating." Harry laughs amusedly.  
"Are you picky or something?"  
"Not particularly, but this hotel has a restaurant and it seems like the kind of place that has a menu in a language that is not English or basic spanish, and I'm not down with that." Harry barks out a laugh that fills the room and slaps is hands over his mouth.  
"I'm glad I amuse you, Styles." He quirks a brow at Nicole.  
"I just think you're funny. And I'm not sure about the menu, but you're probably right."  
"Well… thanks. And if I'm right then I'm not hungry. I'll call dominos later, I understand their menu very well." Harry laughs again, quieter this time, more controlled.  
"How about, we get dressed for dinner downstairs and if the menu is unreadable we'll get something really small and come back later and call for pizza."  
Nicole considers it with a dramatic thoughtful look, making a scene of it on purpose, "Okay, deal. But can I have a shower first?"  
"Of course, need help?"  
"Thank you, but no thank you." Nicole grabs one of her bags at the end of the bed and hauls the strap over her shoulder.  
Harry laughs once Nicole is walking away, realizing he'd made it seem that he'd asked her if she needed help showering, rather than getting to the shower.

Nicole showered, cleaning herself up, towel drying her curly hair and hoped the options for clothing she'd packed wouldn't be too subpar to that of the restaurants atmosphere.  
ending up with dark blue skinny jeans, a white Hollister button up was the only thing in her bag aside from underwear, toiletries and an extra pair of shoes… thankfully she'd packed her clean black TOMS, so it being the only option, it wasn't too bad, but still made her feel subpar.

Nicole walked out of the bathroom with her long hair wet and springing back into it's natural curls, slightly foggy glasses and dragging her bag behind her.  
Harry was lying on the bed with a laptop on his stomach, he'd changed into black jeans and a black scoop neck t-shirt that put his sharp collarbones on display. And even though his attire was quite casual Nicole felt a bit dumb wearing what she was.  
"Harry," She starts, getting ready to refuse to eat in the nice restaraunt downstairs.  
"You have tattoos." Harry says, suddenly looking very excited and smiley.  
"They're stick ons." Nicole smirks and looks down at her inked arms.  
"Can I see? …come sit." Harry pats the spot beside him on the bed.  
"Umm, sure." She walks toward him and crawls onto the large bed.  
"How many do you have?" He asks, still looking at her decorated arms.  
"On my arms… maybe a little over fifteen. I've got some on my legs, one on my left collarbone, one on my hip, one on each foot, behind my ear, up my side, and this one on my hand." Nicole holds out her hand for Harry to see the thin cross tattooed on the side by her pinky.  
"Wow, will you tell me about them? I love tattoos." Harry's smile grows as he pulls the top of his shirt down a bit to show the swallows that lie below his collarbones, and the bottom of the tattoo on his arm shows under his shirt sleeve as well.  
"Sure, have we got time?" Harry nods, "More than enough."  
"Okay, just pick which ones you want to know about and I'll tell you." Nicole holds out her arms for Harry to see the various markings on her skin.

Harry looks them over, turning her arms to see all of them, not wanting to look past one before he chooses.  
"This one." Harry points to the biggest tattoo on either of her arms, a pocket watch with a broken face and chain wrapping around her forearm.  
""Yeah, umm, I got it because my dad always said "it just takes time" after he and my mom got divorced, but I never really felt like my parents breaking up was something time could heal or mend you know? They'd always be broken, my family wouldn't be like it used to be, and they were never going to get back together, so it's a broken watch because as I see it, saying time heals all wounds implies that it's something I'll get over, it's something that will be put back together, but really it's never going to be whole again, it's a fresh wound everyday."  
Harry gives her a mixed look, one she can't decipher.  
"What?" She narrows her eyes at him, getting ready to be put down as she has been in the past for her number of tattoos.  
"It's just… most people wouldn't give all that away. I mean, I know how you feel, my parents are divorced as well, and I've always felt like having a normal family was impossible because it'd always be broken no matter how you put it together."  
"I don't see a point in lying or holding back if it's written on my skin. I put it there for a reason, for people to see, like a badge or something, to me tattoos shouldn't be hidden or not talked about, we pay for them, endure the pain of them and get them for a reason, I get a tattoo in a visible area to say 'look at this, see this, this is what I've been through, this is my story.' If I wanted to hide them I wouldn't have them."  
"I like that. That's a good way to see it." Nicole smiles and nods, "You can pick another."  
"How about this one." He points to the quote in a small font resembling that of a type writer that reads 'I understood the end of that poem.'  
"Well, this is probably one that links to various others, basically it's from a book, a bit changed in format to fit my situation, and in the book there's a poem and at the end the writer kind of gives up hope and stops trying so hard to be what everyone wants. He slowly fades as the poem goes on, feeling like less and less and by the end he gives his life, and there was a time in mine where I did that too, slowly faded and became less and less and was willing to sign my life over. I never wanted to understand the end of that poem, and wish I never did, because it's awful when you do… but I did and it's apart of me and if I hadn't understood the end of that poem I wouldn't be who I am today, which granted isn't a whole hell of a lot, but I'm alive and I'm happy, so that's enough."  
"You're incredibly honest, it's a bit intimidating if I'm being honest as well."  
"I have no reason to lie to you, and it's in the past, it happened, it's who I _was_ , me now and me then are two different people really, the old me would probably give the me now a big 'fuck you' and not think twice about it… and I'm okay with that. I'm happy with who I am now."  
Harry smiles up at her, tracing over the words with the pad of his thumb.  
"Can I pick one more before dinner, we've got about thirty minutes." Nicole looks at him, his green eyes light and soft and genuine so she nods with a quiet 'sure.'

Harry goes back to his inspection, looking over the marked skin, searching for one he's overly curious about or unable to decipher.  
"This." Harry runs his fingers over the small roman numerals XII XVII MMIX right below the crease of Nicole's elbow.  
"You've just picked the tattoo with the longest story, and probably the worst story to hear before we're supposed to eat."  
Harry frowns as he asks, "Does that mean you won't tell me?"  
"No. I will, but you've got to promise something to me in return." Harry just nods as an agreement.  
"You've got to promise me that if I tell you you won't look at me any different, even if we barely know each other, even though we've just met today, you can't let this change anything. …can you promise me that?" Harry catches the seriousness in Nicole's voice, the need for him to be understanding about what she was going to tell him.  
Harry looks up at her in with concerned eyes and a furrowed brow, like he's focusing hard on everything going on at the moment.  
"Someone died didn't they?" He asks, his voice lower and sadder than Nicole had ever wanted to hear.  
"Yeah. Someone did." Nicole looks down at the inked date and Harry's thumb pressing against it lightly.  
"Who?" Harry's voice was hesitant and unsure, almost as if he was afraid of letting the question pass his lips.  
"He was my best friend, his name was Eric… I met him… six years ago now. We spent all of our time together, he taught me all about music and life and everything. He was the coolest person I'd ever met, I didn't want to know anyone else after I met him, no one could compare to how funny he was, or how smart, or how nice he was, like he was it, he was the best, but there was a lot going on that I didn't know about at first. I was thirteen when I found out about it all, his dad was hitting him, like hitting in the real way, not just slaps, and he got hit with a belt, the part with the buckle on it too. I saw him go on with his days even with his bruises and cuts and everything else and he was so strong, and I thought he was amazing for still being able to smile and laugh each day. But he got worse, the impact of his dads rage got worse and his mom was addicted drugs, I knew that from the start though, and he got sadder and sadder and I was just there and tried to help, and I'd go to his house and clean up whatever injury needed tending to, I did that every time I saw him, checked him to make sure I could fix it, you know? …I was fifteen when it happened. Two days before I was with him and we were planning for his birthday that week, I came to see him and he had a really bad injury, his dad had kicked him and his whole side was bruised and I knew he was in a lot of pain. I fixed him up as best as I could, and we were talking about whatever came to mind laying on his small bed and he thanked me over and over again for being his friend and taking care of him, for caring… and I was just like 'How could I not? Why are you thanking me for being your friend when I should be thanking you?' I didn't get it at the time, but I do now. I did after.  
I didn't see him the next day, but the day after that was his birthday and I was so excited because I had gotten him all of his favorite books, signed by the authors too. And I knew he'd love them. His brother picked me up early from school that day and we went to his house and sang in the car to one of his mixed tapes. I was just so happy because the day had been great and I was looking forward to seeing him since I'd left the last time. But when we pulled up to the house something felt wrong and I knew, I _knew_ that something wasn't right. I ran into the house and up the stairs as fast as I could to his room, but I couldn't find him, and it had happened before, where he'd hide and I had to find him, so I figured it was like that again, so I was looking in the hallway, in Adam's room, under his bed, under his blankets and calling his name, because I thought i'd looked everywhere, but I looked in his closet and he was in there."

Nicole broke down, thinking of it always brought her back to the day it happened, every time. She choked on her words and couldn't fight the stinging in her eyes. Harry watched in horror, afraid of what more could come and being tempted to stop her, the pain in her voice and tears in her eyes was enough to have him fighting back his own tears.

"It's okay, you can stop. I'm sorry, you don't have to-" Harry didn't want to her to cry anymore, and frankly he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the rest, it was terrible and he hated that this story was a real one and apart of her life.  
"No. I'm fine… I said I'd tell you." Nicole flicked her eyes to Harry, determined to finish the story, and taking in Harry's sad eyes and slight frown she took a breath, his sadness taking her off guard.

"…He was in there, and he was- umm… he was hanging. His wrists were bloody and I just screamed. And Adam, his brother came running up the stairs and he saw and I was just immobile and dropped to my knees and it was like… if you imagine every bad thing that's ever happened to you, been said to you, imagine it all just rushing back at you all at once, every single horrible thing, it was like that, but just this one thing and I couldn't think about anything else. Adam tried to get me out of the room, he yelled at me to leave, so I wouldn't see, but I did. I saw before he did. And he got Eric down and laid him on the floor away from me, he didn't want me to see, and told me to go to his bedroom, but I couldn't. I don't know how but I got to Eric and I sat by him and held his hand and kept asking him to wake up, because he couldn't die, it was his birthday and he hadn't gotten to open his presents, and he wasn't supposed to die, we had plans, he never broke our plans, never ever. And I just kept asking him to open his eyes, to stop… to stop. … I knew he was gone. I knew he couldn't hear me or wake up even if he wanted to. But i still sat there, holding his hand and fixing his hair, because he hated it when it got in his eyes too much. And then Adam made me let go, took me away, he uncurled my fingers from Eric's and carried me away because the coroner was there and he didn't want me to see, but I did. I think I was worse then, seeing them zip him up in that bag, because I knew he wasn't coming back, wasn't going to wake up miraculously and be okay. I just freaked out, I yelled and screamed at the paramedics and coroner that they were shit at their jobs because they didn't fix him, they weren't trying to wake him up, they weren't doing anything for him, and I just yelled because my best friend was in that bag and I hated it all, and I hit Adam over and over again, just punching at his chest and screamed at him and cried for ages, and it was the worst day of my life. It was the absolute worst thing I could ever imagine happening, and it happened…"

Nicole stopped talking and looked at Harry, who was just staring at her with wet, watery eyes and an expression so sad she had to look away for a moment.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. Please, don't cry. I shouldn't have told you… God, I'm sorry." Nicole shook her head at herself and wiped at her wet eyes.  
"You're the last person that should be apologizing, I'm sorry you lost your best friend, no one should ever go through what you did."  
Nicole cast her gaze toward her hands in her lap, muttering a quiet, "Thanks, but I am sorry for making you sad."  
"It's okay. Thank you for wanting to tell me, I know it was probably harder than it seemed." Nicole managed a smile, unable to think of what to say. Harry must've known, sensed her uncertainty because he moved over on the bed and wrapped her up in a hug, not prodding any further, just letting her be and hoping his closeness was a comfort to her.  
As Nicole pulled away she smiled softly, "Enough of my sob story, I'm sure everyone is waiting on us… should we go?"


	2. Chapter 2

Making their way down to the lobby and to the attached restaurant Harry caught himself watching Nicole. She looked at everything she passed with amazement, as if she was visiting the greatest amusement park for the first time. It all made Harry want to chuckle, but he held it back, knowing that her life was nothing like his own and her unfamiliarity with the lavish hotel was something he once would've reciprocated.  
"Harry, I look stupid, Dominos is looking like a beautiful haven right now." Harry laughs slightly, "You look fine. I bet Ed is wearing a sweatshirt and jeans anyway." Harry places a hand on the small of her back to guide her into the restaurant. 

The host greeted them with a smile, "Mr. Styles, right this way." Harry caught Nicole's mumbled "Jesus christ" at the formality of it all and had to bite this lip to keep from laughing.

At the table there were five others seated already, all familiar faces to even those who would've never met them before.  
Nicole turns to Harry and quietly says, "Where do you want to sit, I don't want to get in the way." Harry shakes his head and motions for her to sit next to Ed, and she does, making room for Harry to slip in beside her.

"Guys, this is Nicole, I'm sure Paul informed you. Nicole," Harry turned to smile at her, "This is Louis, Niall, Liam, Zayn and Ed." He pointed to each boy as he spoke their name, and all the boys flashed her sweet smiles and soft hellos.  
Nicole replies back with a timid smile and quiet "Hi."

The waitress soon arrived and gave them all menus, Harry watched Nicole as she looked it over. Her face contorting into a furrowed brow and frown as she continues to search for recognizable words.  
"How's it going?" Harry asks, slightly teasing but also willing to help her out.  
"Well, it sure isn't Dominos." She laughs and Ed chuckles beside her as well.  
"I hear that, I could go for some straight up greasy food right now." Ed says, smiling but completely serious.  
"I told her that if the menu was unreadable for her we would call Dominos later." The rest of the table erupted into a round of laughter, Niall clutching his stomach and even Zayn leaning against Liam as he caught his breath.  
"That actually sounds like a good idea, anyone else agree?" Ed asks with a smile in Nicole's direction and then at everyone else, to which everyone responded by slipping out of their seats.

"Are they serious?" Nicole asks, turning to Harry as she takes his hand to get out of the booth seat.  
"Yeah, they are. I think you've made an impression on them." Nicole shakes her at Harry's answer, like she's trying to clear her mind, but she follows beside him as they walk behind the boys to the elevators.

Niall turns around to them and says, "We'll meet in your room Haz, everyone wants to change into sweats," before stepping into a lift with four of the boys, leaving Ed holding the doors of the other one for them.

"So what brings you to Minneapolis?" Ed asks to Nicole, who gives a small smile before answering, "My cousin, he goes to an art school here and asked me to visit him. …But as you know, that all kind of went awry tonight." Ed laughs to himself, "I like how you're bummed about it when there are literally girls who hide in bins to see the boys." Nicole laughs quietly and flicks her eyes to both boys, "I'm not _bummed_ , Harry just…" her eyes focus on Harry, "You don't seem like the Harry Styles with his face all over magazines, I mean you are, but I guess seeing as how you basically saved me from freezing to the top of my car tonight, you're the Harry Styles who saved me from freezing to the top of my car." Harry smiles at her, appreciative of being just Harry and not _Harry, one fifth of One Direction._  
"So you're saying you wouldn't hide in a bin to see Harold here?" Ed jokes with a ruffle to Harry's curly hair.  
Nicole just shakes her head and laughs as the elevator doors open before them.  
Ed tells the pair that he'll meet them in their room once he puts his onsie on, and Nicole laughs to herself as she finds her room down the corridor.

"Could I use your phone to call my dad quick?" Nicole asks Harry as they enter further into the room.  
"Of course, I'll set yours up to charge as well." Harry unlocks his phone and hands it to her, going to find her own mobile device by her bags and setting it to charge.

Nicole smiles at Harry and thanks him as she dials her father, walking to a chair in the corner of the room, close to the bed.  
Harry tries not to listen in too much, but being curious and in the same room, he fails miserably.

"Dad? Hi, it's Nicole."  
"…"  
"I called because my car broke down and-" Harry waves his hand to say "Paul had it towed."  
"It had to be towed. I don't know what you want me to do, or how I'm supposed to get home."  
"…"  
"No, dad I can't get a taxi to drive me four hours, I'm eighteen, and you told me not to get a credit card!" Harry watches her as she pulls her knees to her chest and rests her forehead down on them.  
"…"  
"What's mom going to do? She doesn't know how to get here and she'd probably panic trying to…"  
"…"  
"Okay, yeah… one second." She takes the phone from her ear and looks up at Harry, "Harry, what's this hotel called?"  
"The Hotel Minneapolis… and something after that… I dunno, sorry."  
"S'fine." She smiles kindly and puts the phone back to her ear, "I'll just text you the address and stuff."  
"…"  
"I'm okay, yeah. Alright… bye Dad." Nicole closes her eyes and takes the phone away from her ear again, looking quite upset.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks, seeing the sudden sadness on her face.  
"Yeah, sorry, just… my dad and I aren't very close and this happens to me way to much."  
"You mean, you've been stranded and met boy bands before this? …I thought I was special!" Harry mocked hurt with a hand to his heart.  
"Funny, but no. You're the first member of a boy band to ever save me… thank you, again for that by the way." Nicole smiled, a bit weaker than before her phone call, but it was a smile nonetheless and Harry accepted it, knowing she was still a bit upset.  
"I would've been bored if I hadn't met you tonight, so I'm glad to have found you." Nicole smiles and lets out an airy laugh as she passes Harry's phone back to him.  
"Happy to entertain, it's the least I can do for barreling into your life like this." Her voice falters a bit, but Harry doesn't mention it, just tucks it away to think about later.  
"You didn't barrel in, it was more of a graceful descent." Nicole laughs lightly and shakes her head.  
"I like how you call it graceful, especially since I couldn't even put sweatpants on without falling down earlier." Harry laughs because it was quite ridiculous, and not just the sweatpants ordeal, the entire situation they were in was just weird and random and somehow not weird at all… they were actually quite relaxed around one another for a set of strangers.

Before either of them could say anything else the boys were knocking at the door and Harry got up to let them in.  
They had all changed into either sweatpants or onesies, just as Ed had said he was in one along with Louis and Niall.

After a few minutes Dominos was called and pizzas were ordered. Everyone adopted the floor as a suitable sitting area, settling in to conversation and all of the boys gladly accepted Nicole into their little group.  
Niall asked to sit next to Nicole, seeking an okay from Harry who was secretly pleased at the gesture, but just smiled uncaringly at him. The boys took turns asking her questions about how she ended up stranded and anything else they could think of.  
Harry was concentrated on her every word, even catching himself in his staring and entrancement with the new girl he'd met. He was hanging on to her every word just as much as the other boys were… if not more, although he wasn't going to admit to it willingly.  
Nicole made the boys laugh effortlessly, she just fit with them, a seamless match and Harry was more than pleased at the new addition. They'd never met anyone like her before, no one aside from themselves had fit in with all of them so well, they were comfortable around her within only minutes of knowing her.

"So why are you all in Minnesota anyway? It's kind of a weird time for you to be here." Nicole looked around at the boys, waiting for an answer.  
"We have a date here at the Target Center and Ed came to hang out… we should be on break, but we wanted to do a show in the states again." Niall smiled up at Nicole and then pizza was being walked into the room by Paul rather than a pizza boy… security measures.  
Everyone digs into the pizza quickly, picking up slices with their preferred toppings one by one.  
"I've never been to the Target Center, is it really big?" Nicole asked shyly, the question earning a little laughter from Niall and Louis, and Harry bites his back not wanting to embarrass her.  
"You live in Minnesota and haven't been to the Target Center?" Liam asks, suddenly interested.  
"There are lots of places I haven't been. When I say I'm from a small town I don't mean small as in a few thousand people, I mean small as in barely one hundred people. I literally have to drive forty miles to get to a Walmart."  
"Shit," Niall says, "Harry, she's from a smaller place than you are and Holmes Chapel is tiny." Harry smiles flicks his eyes over to Nicole who still hasn't picked up any pizza.

The subject changes swiftly, steadily moving into more interesting things, getting more involved as the conversation grows, each boy interested to hear what the new girl is going to say next, what new story they can get her to tell.  
"…I did, I've never had anyone draw my tattoos up for me, I've done them all and just had the tattoo artist clean them up and do them. …Actually, this one," She smiles and points to a tattoo on her forearm of a small mass of interconnecting lines. "People always think this is the weirdest one, but it's actually one of my favorites because I paint sometimes, nothing too intricate, I just do it because I don't have to think about it, I really like interconnecting lines, which always end up as a mass of triangles really, and this is the middle part of one of my paintings I did in high school right before I graduated."  
Zayn is immediately all over that, anyone who shares an interest in drawing or art like he does is instantly a winner in his book. He scoots closer to her, looking at her inked skin and taking keen interest. Harry watches them as they talk, furrowing his brow at them, jealous. Jealous because suddenly he doesn't want to share her anymore, he liked having her to himself… but he sighs and looks away, knowing he's being silly, Zayn is his friend and has a girlfriend and they can be friends if they want to be.

Nicole just holds her arms out and lets all the boys look, tug her arms lightly so they can see all the markings and patiently explains which ever ones they ask about, and Harry sits close by almost supervising, making sure no one touches on the roman numerals that he did, he didn't want her to have to tell that story again, it was too sad to watch her break down, he didn't want to see her cry again.

"Hey, this one is just like Harry's necklace." Louis points out, poking his finger at a tattoo at the side of her forearm of a small paper plane.  
"Yeah Haz, show her your necklace." Liam smile up at Harry and Harry takes the necklace's pendant in his hand, leaving the chain around his neck and holding the metal pendant out for Nicole to see.  
Nicole moves closer to Harry, taking the little metal piece between her fingers, inspecting it, "That's cool. I like that." She smiles up at Harry and gently lets the pendant drop from between her fingers.

"What does the tattoo mean, Nic?" Nicole laughs and turns to Niall who asked the question and tacked on the nickname.  
"You're the first person to call me that." She smiles at him sweetly.  
"What do people call you then?" Niall questions, always curious.  
"My mom and sister call me Colie, my dad calls me Pumpkin sometimes and I once had a friends mom who called me Nickles, and occasionally Nicholas, which was really weird." Louis starts laughing by the time Pumpkin is revealed and the rest of the boys join in around the time that she's called Nicholas.  
"Anyway, aside form my embarrassing nicknames, the paper airplane is kind of a symbol for me never knowing where I'm going in life. I always feel like I'm constantly lost… I've wanted to be a lot of things and do a lot of things, but everything changes so fast and you don't see it all the time, so kind of like a paper airplane, once it's in motion there's no telling where it will go."

The boys are smiling at her, looking sincere, but also understanding that there's a reason she feels lost and had gotten the tattoo, there's a bigger picture and they know it, their faces reflecting their knowledge so they don't have to say it out loud.  
"For being eighteen and being a bit lost, you seem to know what you're talking about." Ed's suddenly serious and looking at Nicole meaningfully, everyone else in the room thinking the same thing and showing so by the way they nod and look at the girl beside and in front of them.  
Nicole smiles, easing the seriousness, "Well, I'd hope so, or else my tattoos would seem really stupid." All of the boys smile, not full blown, but sincere, it's obvious to them that the girl who had kind of been thrown into their lives wasn't someone who had things given to her or had it easy, she's been through a lot and her story is all one her arms and in the way she talks, an it's well known to the boys as well.

"Are you coming to our show tomorrow night?" Zayn smiles as he asks, looking hopeful, Zayn speaking up being quite unexpected as he's not the most talkative around new people, but Harry watches on with a smile, realizing just how well Nicole has fit into the group.  
"Umm, I don't think so. I'd love to, but I'm sure not many people are too happy about me being here in the first place." And it's true, Paul had been deflecting calls with PR and trying to get rumors cleared up.  
"What!? No!" Niall slams his hands on the floor, taking Nicole off guard, making her jump a little  
"I"m sorry," Nicole looks at Niall with an apologetic expression, "I would love to see you guys play, but I planned to leave tomorrow morning anyway, and I'm sure my dad will have a way to get me back home by then." She shrugs her shoulders and looks around at the boys' fallen faces.  
"Why can't you stay? Just for the show? C'mon, you have to come to the show, and… and you should call your dad and tell him that he doesn't have to get you back home, we'll do it. Right guys? We'll get you home." Niall is looking so excited and hopeful now, and everyone else is about to jump in with "HELL YEAH"'s and a round of fist pumps.  
"I think Niall's got a good idea, we can get her to the show and she can hang out with me side stage, then we'll get her back home, but I think she'll need security by then, so Paul and Andy will probably have to go along."  
Ed is sharing looks with all of the guys, everyone giving their versions of an agreement to keep Nicole around for the show tomorrow.  
Harry is looking away from the group, trying to hide the smile that's about to crack his face in half, dimples deep in his cheeks and he's just happy, so very happy.

"Wait… you guys, thank you. I mean, really… Seriously, you guys are being so nice and you've just like taken me in and that means a lot to me, I appreciate your kindness and all, but I really don't want you guys to get in trouble because of me. I'm not going to let you guys get yelled at because of someone you barely know, I don't want to cause an-"  
Harry finally speaks up, interjecting and cutting Nicole off, "They're right, you can't go home. And we don't care about management or PR right now. It's not like we're hiding anything, you're our friend and we want you to come to our show. It's not everyday I get to play hero and save cool girls in Minnesota, think of it as a 'thank you for saving me' present? And if you don't we'll hold you hostage and drag you there because we like you that much." The boys laugh, but keep their eyes trained on Nicole, watching for a reaction.  
She looks focused, biting her bottom lip in thought, "…Well, I'd really hate to be held hostage." She smirks as the boys catch on, laughing and wooing, smiling like goons.

 

The boys leave late, several discarded boxes of pizza later and smiles on all of their faces. Leaving Nicole and Harry alone, Harry deliberating what to do for sleeping arrangements and calling Paul to check for an extra room, and Nicole showering before bed.

"Harry?" Nicole calls, a nervousness in her voice. Harry looks up and sees her head poking out of the bathroom door.  
"Umm, this is awkward, but I didn't bring pajamas… could I maybe borrow those sweats again?" Her cheeks are bit pink, but Harry can tell she's trying not to laugh.  
"Right. Err, one second." Harry turns to his bags to find the sweats he'd leant Nicole earlier, plucking a random shirt for her as well before bringing them to her, doing his best to not look anywhere but her face.  
"Thanks." She smiles and takes them carefully, closing the door behind her.

When she comes out she's once again drowning in the baggy sweatpants from before and a black scoop neck shirt like Harry had been wearing earlier, it hanging far past her torso and loose on her frame.  
"I think I should start packing with the prospect of getting stranded in mind." She smiles when Harry laughs lightly and climbs onto the bed, flopping over dramatically, "I'm so tired, I think I'm gonna die." She laughs, the sound muffled by the sheets.  
"It's really late. Paul's trying to get me another room for the night." Nicole rolls over and looks at Harry seriously, "That's stupid, this is your room."  
"Yes, but I'm sure you don't want to share a bed with someone who snores. And it wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me t-"  
"Stop being so gentlemanly then." She interjects, "This bed is big enough for three of you and I'm a good sharer." She pats the bed and makes a silly face at Harry, who is easily convinced and takes a spot on the bed.  
"Okay, I'll text Paul and tell him we're fine then." Harry sends a quick text to Paul to stop his searching.

Nicole moves under the duvet and then turns to Harry who's taken his spot beside her, "But no funny business. I'm saving myself for Jesus." She laughs as she says it, a big smile breaking out on her face and she looks at harry.  
"No promises." Harry says jokingly as he gets comfortable under the covers.  
"At least you're honest about it." She giggles and turns over, switching the light on her side off and Harry does the same.

After a few minutes of lying in the dark Nicole moves under the covers, "Harry…"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thank you," She says, her voice soft and quiet, "for being so nice to me, and for helping me tonight… As much as I don't want to think about it, you probably did save my life." Harry frowns lightly into the darkness, the sincerity in her voice is saddening, he knows she wouldn't have made it all night on her own.  
"Of course."  
Harry listened as she breathed out and moved some more under the covers, and then her fingers met his arm, finding his hand and then her fingers laced with his.  
"Sweet dreams, Harry."  
"Goodnight, Nicole." She hums in response and brushes her thumb against Harry's skin as her breathing evens out, falling into sleep.  
Harry falls asleep soon after, excited for tomorrow and remembering to get Nicole to a mall so she'll have some clothes for the show, maybe have Paul or Andy take them.

\-----  
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"Harry. Wake up, please." Harry woke to the soft voice and slight shaking of his arm.  
He grumbled out a "hi" and opened his eyes to see Nicole stifling a laugh beside him.  
"Hello, I like your sleepy voice." She smiles and pulls Harry up by his arm, although most of the sitting up was Harry's doing as her strength wasn't enough to pull him upright.  
"How long have you been up?" Harry asks, noticing her day clothes and the way her hair was pinned up nicely.  
"Umm, not long, I got you breakfast. I wasn't sure what you liked, so I just got a bit of everything." She points to the table in the corner of the room, a tray set up and filled with different breakfast foods.

"Wow, you didn't have to do that… thank you." Nicole shrugs her shoulder with a light smile, "S'alright. But I think the staff knows I'm here with you. I asked if they had oranges and three people went to find some." She laughs softly.  
"Word spreads pretty fast, I'm sure more than just the staff knows." Nicole looks away, bashful and pinked cheeks.  
"Well, here, you better eat before it gets cold. I've got apple juice and orange juice… I wasn't sure what you preferred." Harry smiles at her and the way she changed the subject.  
"Mm, what would you choose?" He smiles at her as she sets the tray down on his lap.  
"I've got an affinity for orange juice, but this is Tropicana and their apple juice is quite lovely, so it's a close call." Harry laughs at the level of seriousness in her voice.  
"Then I think I'll take the apple juice." She hands it to him and sets a napkin beside the tray and Harry thanks her kindly. She smiles and walks around to the other side of the bed and puts something in her bags.

"So, I figure since you planned on leaving early today you might want to go shopping for something to wear tonight?"  
"I guess so. I'll probably get the little tram to the Mall of America or something." Nicole stands up and sits on the edge of the bed, hands in her lap.  
"Nah, you don't have to do that." Harry pops a piece of fruit into his mouth, chews and swallows before he speaks again, "I can have Paul or Andy take us, I don't want you to be recognized and have no one to get you out of it." Her eyes go a bit wide at that.  
"You want to come with me?" She looks shocked at the idea of Harry wanting to accompany her, rather than bothered by the fact that she could get mauled by One Direction fans.  
"Yeah, is that okay?" Harry tries not to smirk too much, pleased at her reaction.  
"Of course it is. …But do we really need security to go to a mall?" Harry bites back a laugh.  
"Yeah, we do. I don't want to risk you getting hurt by fans either, they get pretty out of control sometimes." Nicole's face turns into something resembling _ohmygod_ with wide eyes.

After a few more minutes Nicole speaks up, "Alright then, so with my life in danger because of your fans, let's get ready to go to the mall." She scoots off the bed and goes to Harry's side, taking the breakfast tray off of his lap and setting it on the table.  
"Wear something inconspicuous so I don't get attacked." She laughs as she says it and Harry gets up to go to the bathroom to shower, bringing extra clothes along as well. 

Harry comes out and Nicole immediately starts laughing, "What?" Harry asks, suddenly self-conscious.  
"Sorry, I just should've known that being inconspicuous would be impossible for you."  
"I've got a beanie and sunglasses too." Harry pouts his bottom lip out like a toddler.  
"Right, well your face is also your face, soooo I have a feeling there will be a number of encounters with your vicious fans today." Harry doesn't even argue, he knows Nicole is most likely correct and it's not worth having her say 'i told you so.'  
"Alright, well wanna go then? My cousins boyfriend works at MOA and he asked if we could stop by. He's really cool, he works at a sports store."  
Harry smiles at her, she looks happy and excited about their adventure to come.

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	3. Chapter 3

"So where do you want to go?" Harry asks, turning to Nicole as the entered the massive mall.  
"Can we stop by and see Tanner? … Also I'm very much lost within this mall right now, so we're going to need a map." Harry laughs and smiles goofily before nodding.

"Where do you usually shop?" Harry walks a bit closer to Nicole as he asks, securing his beanie on his head.  
"I honestly haven't shopped at a proper store in a long time, I get super overwhelmed in stores and feel like I have to hurry up and get out, so I usually shop online."  
"The Mall of America probably isn't your favorite place then." Nicole smiles up at Harry and shakes her head, "Niall's claustrophobic too, he hates when fans grab him and try to pull him into the masses." Nicole nods and moves a little closer to Harry as the crowd gets larger near the map of stores.  
"You alright?" Harry questions as he slips an arm around her waist.  
"M'okay, just lots of people… m'fine." Harry can hear the uncertainty in her voice and notices the way she gets closer to him as they walk further. Her general disliking for large crowds was stressing her out and made it tempting to exit the mall as quick as possible, but Harry's closeness was a comfort in it's new familiarity.

Nicole led them to Tanner's workplace, the familiar face an even greater comfort.  
"Hey Tanner!" She smiles as she approaches him and gives him a high five.  
"Hey, haven't seen you in ages… you got yourself caught up in a boy band now eh?" Tanner laughs and eyes Harry suspiciously, making Nicole laugh.  
"I have… a little bit. Kind of… yeah. Anyway, er this is Harry. Harry this is Tanner." Tanner laughs again and shakes Harry's hand like he's sizing him up and Nicole laughs at the situation, watching Harry's face go from 'hi nice to meet you' to 'what in the hell is happening?'

"Okay, so that's done now. I've got to get some clothes for tonight, so I'll see you soon Tanner, tell Allison I say hi, okay? And we might have to run here if Harry's wonderful disguise fails us." Harry blushes at the sarcasm and Tanner laughs and shoos them off.

"How do you know where you're going? This place is massive!" Harry sticks close to Nicole and makes sure people passing by don't notice him or separate him from Nicole.  
"I don't… but I'm doing a good job of pretending huh?" Harry laughs quietly beside her.  
"Yeah, I was buying it. …So are we lost?" He sounds worried and Nicole looks over at him and smiles.  
"No, not entirely." She laughs and pulls Harry into a store and his laugh is more of a giggle as he lets himself be guided.

Nicole sifts through the possibilities for shirts and jeans and hates almost everything she sees before looking over at Harry, who is holding a t-shirt that says 'Get your girl off my deck' and he's smiling goofily over it.  
"It's a skate brand, Girl." Harry eyes the shirt and looks at Nicole with a weird face.  
"Did you just call me 'girl'?"  
Nicole laughs, "No, the brand, it's called Girl." Harry laughs and makes an 'oh' face.

A bit more searching and Nicole finds a suitable pair of jeans, cream colored skinny jeans with no bedazzled butt pockets or ridiculous fabric, just dyed denim.  
She goes to purchase her jeans and then Harry is calling her over to him by a stand of hats, she slips her debit card from her wallet and sets it on the counter for the guy to ring her up and mutters a 'sorry' as she goes over to Harry. He's finding the utmost joy in an animal hat with attached mittens as he paw at the air.  
"Okay, I need to get you out of here… c'mon." Harry pouts but takes the hat off and follows behind her to the counter where she takes her bag and debit card back with a "Thank you."

 

As it turns out, you should not bring an international popstar to the worlds largest mall or to Urban Outfitters, because you will run into crazy fourteen year old white girls who will go absolutely crazy upon setting their eyes upon him.  
Luckily both Paul and Andy had accompanied them to the mall and were able to get the store cleared of everyone but the employees as soon as a gaggle of girls rushed toward Harry with cameras out and flashing.  
"This is really weird." Nicole says as she looks at Harry. He laughs and follows her around the store, hoping he's not too much of a lost puppy around her.

 

"Is this okay?" Nicole asks, holding up a black top with pleated shoulders and elongated sleeves. Harry looks at the top and smiles, he likes that she hadn't gotten a dress or gone overboard with her clothing choices, "It's perfect."  
"I wish I could be like Ed and wear a hoodie to all events, I admire his style." Harry laughs and follows Nicole up to the counter. As soon as Nicole slips her debit card from her wallet Harry's moving her hand away and giving his credit card to the girl behind the counter, who is basically ravaging him with her eyes.  
"What are you doing?" Nicole ask, pushing at his arm with her card in hand, trying to get the girl behind the counter to take it.  
"I'm paying." Harry pushes his card at the girl with a sweet smile.  
"No you're not. I can buy my own shirt, Harry." Nicole gives him a serious look.  
"I'm sure you can." He nods toward the girl behind the counter and she runs the card.  
"You shouldn't have done that… why did you do that?" Nicole looks at Harry, trying not to be too mad, or make it seem that she was unappreciative, she's just never liked people buying her things when she was perfectly capable.  
"Well, I did. Because I'm nice." Nicole shakes her head at him and mutters a 'ridiculous' under her breath as Harry takes the bag from the girl obviously struggling with her emotions behind the counter.

Exiting the store turned to be a difficult task, tons of girls were at the entrance, screaming for Harry and screaming at Nicole for being with him, calling her a slut and a 'man-stealer.'  
"Umm… Harry, what do I do? I think they want to punch me in the face." Harry bends down to hear her better and tries to keep calm, this part of fame is the part that is less than ideal, never being able to have a girl within his presence without her being bombarded with threats or name calling.  
"Don't listen to them, Paul and Andy will get us out." Harry takes her bag from the previous store and holds it for her, along with the Urban Outfitters bag and nudges her forward out of the store, Andy in front of them and Paul close behind.

It's a lot for Nicole to take in, the screaming and yelling, the way they yell at Harry to marry him and cry upon sight of him, literally half of the girls around them were just sobbing.  
Some of the girls were calling Nicole terrible names, a slut, whore, man-stealer, bitch, all because she was next to Harry. Then there were some girls who were reaching out for her, calling her by name and asking for her autograph, holding whatever objects they had and pieces of paper out to her.  
"Nicole! Will you sign this for me? You're so amazing!" Nicole couldn't help but look at the girl who had called out to her with wide eyes, it was strange and felt like she was stuck in someone else's life.  
"Oh… umm, you don't want me to sign that, but thank you." She smiles at the girl and steps forward, but Harry stops and smiles when he hears the girl again, "Yes, I do. Please? I really think you're amazing!" Harry just looks back at Nicole with a smile, mouthing 'sign it.'  
"Umm, okay." She takes the note pad and signs her name quick, with a smiley face beside it, "Thank you." She says as she hands it back to her.

And then Harry and Nicole are being pushed along by Andy and Paul, trying to get them out of the massive mall.  
Harry walks in front of Nicole and Andy is behind her, making sure no one is too close to the pair. Harry sticks his arm out behind him and wiggles his fingers, telling Nicole to take it, to stay close, and she does, his big hand and long fingers basically engulfing her entire hand.

Harry and Nicole get back to the oversized vehicle they arrived in and Harry slumps into his seat and takes a deep breath, "You okay?" Nicole asks, taking her bags from his grasp and setting them on the floor.  
"Yeah, it just gets crazy sometimes… how are you?" Nicole laughs quietly, crazy is a bit of an understatement.  
"I'm good, but apparently I'm a slutty, man-stealing whore, sooo…" Nicole laughs as she says it, not taking the insults to heart, none of it is true anyway.  
Harry lets out an airy laugh, "Don't listen to them, they think if I'm seen within a five mile radius of a girl I'm automatically in a relationship with them, planning to have seven kids and quit One Direction."  
Nicole gasps and mocks hurt, a hand to her heart, "You mean, you don't want to have seven kids with me and end your career? How could you, Harry!?" Nicole fake cries and pouts at him until he's laughing and smiling, shaking his head, curls bouncing about.

The drive back to the hotel was relatively quiet, the radio on low and Nicole hummed to herself as she looked out the window. Harry had fallen asleep almost instantly and Nicole glanced over at him, curled into himself, he looked much younger when he slept, softer, and vulnerable.

They arrive at the hotel and Harry is deep in his sleep, little snores coming out of his slightly parted lips, "Harry, Harry… wake up." Nicole shakes his shoulder lightly until his eyes flutter open and he looks around trying to remember where he's at.  
"We're at the hotel." She tells him, giving him a smile before her door is being opened for her, another newly unfamiliar thing for her.  
She grabs her bags and once she's out of the car she sees the amount of people waiting for Harry and the other boys to step out of the hotel, a couple paparazzi and even more fans litter the sidewalk, the flashing and screaming is blinding and deafening, and Andy is walking extra close to Nicole, trying to block everyone from getting photos or reaching out at her, making Nicole relax a bit more and thanking Andy once they get inside.

Nicole follows Harry to the elevator and gets in, Paul staying in the lobby to make are no one follows them up and Andy joining the pair for the ride up.

"I'm sorry those girls called you such terrible things." Harry says suddenly, picking at his fingers and not looking at Nicole.  
"It's okay, Harry. It's not your fault." Harry looks at her shyly for a moment, "It's not okay, they shouldn't be saying those things to you."  
"Harry… It doesn't matter, none of it was true and I know that, that's what matters. As someone who has never had sex, I can't be a slut or a whore, and you're my friend, I haven't stolen you from anyone… so, yeah." Harry looks at her fully now, eyes a bit wide at her confession and cheeks tinted pink.  
Nicole didn't bother asking him why he gave her such look, she knew why. It was the same look she always got when people found out that at eighteen, nearly nineteen, she hadn't been sexually active. But it wasn't something she was ashamed of or tried to hide, it wasn't a big deal to her. She was in no rush.

Andy dropped the pair at their room and Nicole worked on getting her new clothes out of the bags and folding them up for later and Harry sat on the bed, not saying anything.

"Okay, seriously, would you say something?" Nicole snaps, not upset, just not wanting the awkward silence to last any longer.  
"I'm sorry… It's just, you're a virgin?" Harry asks, his cheeks pinking again.  
"Yes, I am. Not a lot of people are at eighteen, so I get it if you think it's weird."  
Harry shakes his head slowly, "No, I don't think it's weird… it's just rare I guess. I don't know many people who have abstained until they were our age… but it's nice. I wish I would've held off on it, save it for someone who actually meant something to me."  
"You'd be surprised how many people say that to me. That's part of why I haven't just gone and done it. It's not like I'm waiting to get married, religion has nothing to do with it. I just always thought I'd like to be someone who doesn't think back and wish I'd waited for someone else. I'd like to be someone who does it with one person, someone they spend their life with… maybe that's wishful thinking, but it's just the way I see it."  
Harry smiles at her, the new found innocence now making a bit more sense when he thinks about her and the way she's acted and spoken, "That's actually nice to hear, most girls are willing to give it up at any time and at any place. I think it'd be nice like you said, to only ever be with one person, someone you love and spend your life with, married or not… "  
Nicole smiles and nods before sitting on the bed opposite Harry.

"So are you hungry or anything? I can see if they've got anything downstairs, if you want?" Nicole asks a bit shyly and Harry chuckles lightly, lying back on the bed.  
"You don't have to do that. Thank you though. We'll eat a bit later, with everyone before the show."  
"Okay," Nicole says, slipping down off the bed and sitting in front of her duffel bag, "What time will that be?" She poke her head up so she can see Harry as she asks.  
"Whenever we're all hungry, probably around five though, unless Niall drags us somewhere else beforehand." Nicole laughs, "Kay." She shuffles her stuff around and set her clothes for tonight out and looks inside the bag that held her pants for the receipt so she could balance her checkbook.  
"what the heck… I swear there should be a receipt for these." She mumbles to herself, looking in the pockets of the jeans, just to make sure the cashier hadn't put it in there for some reason.  
"You didn't get a receipt for them." Harry says quietly, sitting up and peeking over the edge of the bed at Nicole.  
"No… I used my debit card, they always give receipts if you use debit." She tells him matter-a-factly.  
"No you didn't." Harry smirks down at her.  
"Yes I did. I set my card down on the counter an- …what… why are you looking at me like that?" She gives Harry a look, quirking her eyebrows up and narrowing her eyes.  
"Because I had Pau-"  
Nicole interjects quickly, " _Harry_ , Jesus… I can pay for my own stuff. I wouldn't have gone if I couldn't." She gives him a hard look, but he smirks at her.  
"I know, but I wanted to. You only had to buy new clothes because you're coming to my show, because the boys and I asked you to."  
"So? I decided to stay, it was my decision."  
"So save your money, put it toward your car or something." Harry shrugs and moves up the bed, sitting against the headboard, and Nicole stands up to look at him.  
"Is that what this is about? You think that because my car is a piece of shit that I can't afford things? I'm not poor, Harry."  
"I didn't say that." Harry says, a bit confused as to why it's a big deal and knitting his eyebrows together in frustration.  
"But you think that… God, I can't believe this. I'm not a charity case, so please don't treat me like one. I have a shit car because it's what my dad got me when I was fifteen. He fixes it when it's broken and when I really need a new car he'll make sure I have something to get me around. Of course I'd get a new car if I could, but I'm a full time college student with enough loans out to drown me already, I work at a fucking bakery part time, money may not be rolling in like tidal waves, but I'm fine. I pay my bills on time and have enough to spend here and there afterwards. I've been taking care of myself for a long time, I don't need to be someones charity case, okay?" Harry looks at her, feeling bad for making her feel like he thought of her that way, but not being able to manage anything aside from, "I'm sorry." Before she's grabbing up her clothes, "Don't worry about it." She says, her voice controlled and her face softening, "I'm just going to change, you should sleep before we have to go… i figure you're tired since you fell asleep in the car." Harry gives a small smile and nods, suddenly feeling like he has whiplash from her change in tone and the way her attitude changed so fast.

Harry watches her walk away, slightly appalled because of the angst she has and the fact that he found it incredibly arousing, he found her sexy when she was angry, but didn't want to piss her off again, mostly to avoid getting an erection during an awkward moment.

Nicole takes her time changing, trying to calm herself down and feeling bad for getting so worked up about the whole thing, she knew Harry was just being nice, but as someone who had to work for most of what she had, it wasn't something she took to easily, to have things taken care of for her. It wasn't how she was raised, she was always the one paying for her food if she ate out with friends and usually covered their meals as well, she never asked for anyone to buy her things, never insinuated she wanted things if she didn't have her wallet and couldn't buy it herself… she loathed asking her own father for even the smallest of things and refused to ask anyone for money, even if she was having a rough month. Having Harry step in and so casually pay for her things was almost a foreign concept for her, she wasn't used to it.

Harry waits for her to come out, pretending he's not, laying back on the bed and drumming his fingers on his stomach impatiently.  
Eventually she comes out, looking unbothered and her new clothes looking really nice on her, her jeans fitting perfectly and the top casual enough to go to a concert but formal enough to look pretty and classy. Her lips are a bright red and look even fuller than before, and Harry just tries not to stare for too long.  
"Hi." She says softly, "Sorry I got upset… I know you were just being nice." Her voice was soft and noticeably sad as she spoke to Harry, looking quite solemn as well, "I'm going to call my sister, she's been texting me nonstop. I'll be down in the lobby or something."  
"Okay." Harry chokes the single word out, hoping she'd know that he wasn't upset at her and that he understood why she'd take the gesture the wrong way.  
She grabbed her phone and left quickly, making sure not to let the door slam behind her.

Harry scrambled for his phone, needing to call the one person who could actually help him in this situation… Gemma. 

"Hey, Gem..." Harry greets her with a pouty voice.  
"What's wrong?" Harry smiles at that, the fact that she knows his 'something is wrong' voice.  
"That obvious, huh?" She laughs.  
"Nah, I just know you too well." Harry chuckles and smiles at that, because it's definitely true.  
"Does this have anything to do with the pictures I saw of you and some girl at a mall?"  
Harry takes a deep breath, "Yeah… it does."  
"Figured. So what's the deal?"  
"I dunno. I met her yesterday night and her name is Nicole, Paul and I found her outside 'cause her car broke down and she was stuck in the cold… I brought her back to the hotel and she was okay, and she's been with me ever since, and she met the boys, and Ed last night and they loved her… love her. I keep getting texts from them asking if we can all hang out later, and if they can come see her. And I mean, she's not even freaking out about being here and sharing a hotel room with me, last night she thanked me for saving her and held my hand, and she was so so sweet. And I just… I'm so confused because she's not like all the girls I knew back home or even the girls I've met around the world. She got me breakfast in bed this morning, Gem! Like literally, every single thing the hotel offered, she got it for me, put it on a tray and woke me up to a full breakfast, and I know it wasn't put on the bill for the band, because Paul would've told me, so she paid for it, like that's expensive you know? And she doesn't even know me and she did that. And now she's kind of upset with me because I bought her clothes and she didn't know until we got back and she thought I thought that she's poor and that's why I did it, but it wasn't, I just wanted to do something nice for her because she's been nice to me. I don't know what to do… I feel so much right now, I think I'm dying, Gemma." Harry breathes in and holds it for a second before letting it out again.

"I don't think I've ever heard you ramble about a girl that way for one, and she seems like a nice girl. So her car broke down and you were her hero?"  
"I don't think I have… Her car broke down and she couldn't turn anything on, not even her emergency lights so she got on top of her car so she could see any passing cars and she was so cold when we found her, her lips were blue."  
"Wow, that'd be scary… you probably did save her then. Good job 'lil brother." Harry can hear her smile as she says 'lil brother' and he smiles too.  
"Geeeeeem. That's not the point though. I don't know what to do, she's like the funniest, coolest, laid back, girl I've ever met in my life and she's not even fazed by me being in One Direction. She just talks to me like I'm normal and she's so honest, like anything I want to know she'll tell me, she told me a bunch of stuff about her and she's not just some dumb girl you know? She's been through things and she's really smart and GOD! Gemma, I don't know what to fucking do? Tell me what to do?"  
"Calm down, Harry. If you like her let her know, you're good with girls."  
"I know, but she doesn't even act like I'm anything special you know? I'm just Harry, she doesn't even look at me like she likes me."  
"Maybe you're not doing it right, maybe you're using the way you treat other girls on her, and maybe she can see that, and that's why she's not into it. She seems like the kind of girl that can sniff out bullshit a mile away. Don't use old moves, get new ones, figure out what makes her smile and laugh and look at you like you're special. Be honest with her, if she's honest with you. If you like her, don't hold back… girls aren't into that."  
"…I think you might be right. Thanks, Gem. I really like her, I think you will too." Harry smiles as he speaks, his hope restored and his head panning out a new idea to get Nicole to like him.  
"You mean you want to bring this one home? Ohhhh Haz, I'm telling mum!" Gemma laughs on the other end.  
"I actually think I will bring her home, if everything works out of course. Tell mum, go ahead, the pictures are probably everywhere already." Gemma squeals excitedly into the phone and Harry chuckles.  
"They are. Analysis of you two holding hands outside of the mall are circulating tumblr."  
"Of course… Anyway, thanks for talking to me, Gem."  
"No problem, little brother.  
"I'll call you soon, bye Gem."  
"Bye, Harry."

Harry lays back on the bed and thinks about what to do net, and more so, waiting for Nicole to come back.  
He waits for another ten minutes, sorting out his thoughts and finally giving in to texting Zayn to see if he's seen her.

To: Zayn  
From: Harry  
 _Have you seen Nicole?_

To: Harry  
From: Zayn  
 **She's with me Niall n Ed.**

To: Zayn  
From: Harry  
 _Where are you?_

To: Harry  
From: Zayn  
 **Hanging out by the pool. Come down, bring your trunks. Niall and I are about to swim.**

To: Zayn  
From: Harry  
 _Fine. I'll be down soon._

 

Harry shucks his jeans and scrabbles around to find his swim trunks and pulls them on. He slips his shirt off as well and grabs a hoodie to cover up on his way to and from the pools confines.  
He leaves his phone in the room, not wanting to risk it getting wet, and he leaves, quickly grabbing a room key on his way out.

\---  
\-----  
\---

When Harry gets to the pool Zayn and Niall are flopping around in the pool like maniacs and Ed and Nicole are sitting in chairs at the far corner, talking animatedly about something.

"HARRY!" Niall and Zayn shout simultaneously upon his arrival.  
"ZAYN! NIALL!" Harry shouts back with a laugh and they go one floating about, laughing with one another as they go.

Harry goes to the corner by Ed and Nicole and they stop whatever they were talking about to look up and greet him.  
"Haz!" Ed smiles and waves at Harry.  
"Hey, Harry." Nicole smiles and gestures at the chair beside her to sit down.  
"I'm okay, I'm going to swim." She nods at him with a small smile and returns to talking to Ed as Harry unzips his hoodie and walks off, only catching her say, "--I'll grab you a water." To Ed, before she was out of her chair and walking past Harry.

 

"Is she okay?" Harry asks Ed once she's out of the pool area.  
"Yeah, why?"  
"N-no reason… just wondering." Harry flicks his eyes to the pool, the lie feeling thick on his tongue.  
"You're a shit liar, mate. She told me what happened."  
"She did?" Harry looks back to Ed, interested eyes piercing into Ed's own.  
"Yeah, she feels like crap about it. She's got a pretty heavy conscious. I don't think she does much of the wrong thing… plus I think she likes you." Ed smirks at Harry, almost teasingly.  
"What? No she doesn't." Harry says it like it's a fact… thinking _How can she like me, she doesn't even seem like she cares about me more than the other guys._  
"Whatever you say, mate." Ed shakes his head at the younger boy, knowing he won't believe him no matter how much he tries to convince him… Harry is stubborn.

Harry turns away and gets into the pool, swimming his way over to Zayn and Niall who are splashing water in each others faces.  
"You and Nic alright?" Niall asks, ceasing his splashing to look at Harry closely.  
"I dunno… m'hoping so." They dismiss the conversation, moving on to swimming activities and Harry signs in relief.  
They get themselves into a diving competition and mostly just fall into the water and make fun of each other, laughing their way through each challenge.

Nicole walks in when Niall's starting up his dive and Harry looks at her immediately, she catches him and smiles at him, walking over to Ed and handing him a bottle of water and then twisting the cap off her own. Harry forces himself to watch Niall do his 'dive' so he can reciprocate it after Zayn, and it's basically just Niall flopping into the water like a fool, so it's not much of a challenge.

After finishing his dive the competition fades in its fun and they all end up swimming around aimlessly, occasionally bumping into each other as well.

Harry tries not to pay attention to the pair in the chairs, but can't help but listen when he hears Ed and Nicole laugh at something and look up to see them moving pool side with their jeans rolled up and they sit down, plopping their feet into the water and swirling it around, careful not to wet their clothes.

Harry feels a flare of jealousy and hates himself for it, he's only just met Nicole and Ed is one of his best friends, and one of the coolest guys he's ever met, and he knows that with him thinking Nicole likes Harry that he wouldn't move in on her. But something about them laughing and talking together irks him, but he swallows it down along with the urge to get out of the pool, grab her and run off just so he can have her to himself.

"…No yeah, I have colored ones, but not many. I think it's like a mind thing I have, because when ever I'm drawing I hate adding color because I'm always afraid I'll mess up whatever I have going by picking the wrong color, so most the stuff I do is black and white, except when I paint, then I go balls to the wall crazy with color." Ed laughs and holds his arm out, letting Nicole see his sleeve of colorful tattoos and she points at one and smiles, laughing to herself and saying she likes it.

Harry floats on his back, away from them, trying to swallow the jealousy once again, along with any urge he has that will end up in him looking like a jealous asshole.  
He looks over from the other end of the pool to see that Zayn and Niall have swum up to Nicole and Ed, and they're all laughing now. Niall throwing his head back he's laughing so hard, and Zayn is smiling so huge it's ridiculous.  
Harry makes himself a promise to himself as he swims over to them, that he won't get jealous or say anything that would make it seem that way. 

"HAZZA!" Niall says loudly before plunging Harry underwater.  
Harry resurfaces and manages not to sputter out water or choke to death on the amount of pool water that made its way up his nose.  
"Thanks Niall." Harry says flatly, flicking the hair out his eyes.  
"We were just saying we should go eat something since we have to wait until five, and it's only like… an hour past noon." Zayn says, looking to Harry as if he's the deciding factor in whether they eat now or not.  
"Sounds good to me." Harry agrees.  
"Cool, we can just go to the place here so we don't have to arrange security." Harry nods at Zayn, silently agreeing because he didn't want to deal with crazy fans at the moment.

Zayn, Niall and Harry make their way out of the pool, dry themselves a bit and Harry slips his hoodie back on, working on zipping it as he walks, getting caught up and he bumps right into the glass door.  
He makes a pained sound and the three boys behind him are laughing, but when he turns around to scowl at them Nicole is right there, looking at him worriedly, "Are you okay?" She asks, looking at his forehead for a bump, but he hadn't hit the door hard enough to cause damage.  
"M'fine." He says, looking down at her worried face and gives her a small smile as she reaches up, pushing the wet hair hanging in his eyes off to the side and out of his eyes, "Probably can't see with your hair in your eyes." She smiles and turns away, opening the door and holding it open with a smirk on her face.

The boys are laughing like a bunch of giggly school girls behind Harry, but he ignores them and goes to the elevator, holding the doors open for the rest of them and they all file in, shooting him weird looks and smiling like dopes.  
The doors open again once they reach their floor and they make their way to their rooms without saying much, knowing they'll text one another when they're ready to eat.

"I'm going to shower quick." Harry says as he and Nicole enter their room, and Nicole mutters a small 'okay' and walks over to the bed and lays down.  
"Are you alright?" Harry asks, walking a little closer to her.  
She smiles as she curls into a small ball on her side, "I'm good. Just a little tired."  
"You can sleep for a bit, if you want. I'll wake you when we go to eat."  
"M'kay. …You smell like pool." She giggles and shoos Harry off.

Harry grabs his phone and clothes from earlier before going to shower.  
He checks his phone in the bathroom, seeing Ed has texted him, along with Niall and Zayn.

From Ed  
To Harry:  
I wasn't lying. She likes you. 

From Zayn  
To Harry:  
Niall thinks you and Nicole had sex.

From Niall  
To Harry:  
You and Nicole got it on didn't you? 

Harry laughs at Zayn and Niall's texts and replies to all of them.

From Harry  
To Ed:  
Come to my room in 15.

From Harry  
To Zayn & Niall:  
We didn't have sex. 

Harry puts his phone down and steps out of his wet shorts, slips his hoodie off and gets into the shower, making sure the water is extra hot.  
He hangs his head under the stream of water and tries not to think too much, taking his time with shampooing and conditioning his hair, getting the chlorine out and then washes his body free of the pool smell that Nicole had crinkled her nose at.

Ed arrives at the room just as Harry is walking out of the bathroom. He pulls the door open and steps out, not wanting to wake Nicole if she is asleep.  
"What was that text about?" Harry asks, probably too serious for him remain cool about the situation at hand.  
Ed laughs to himself, "I asked her. She didn't even have to answer for me to know. I said "So, do you like Harry, then?" and she said, "Kind of…" But it's more than kind of because she turned toward the pool and watched you swim around like you were the most interesting thing she'd ever laid her eyes on… she's into you."  
Harry couldn't help the massive smile on his face, or the slight blush on his cheeks at hearing what Ed said.  
Ed just laughed at his reaction and patted his shoulder, "You're smitten, mate."  
"I'm not smitten, okay? I'm just… interested. Now go. I'll text you when we're ready to go." Ed walks off chuckling and shaking his head and Harry turns away to his room, walking in quietly and making sure the door shuts silently.

As Harry walks further into the room he sees Nicole asleep on the bed, curled into a small ball, not even resting her head on a pillow, she was lain right in the middle, hands tucked under her head, looking soft and peaceful, so Harry let her be for awhile.  
However he does take refuge on the bed as well, keeping enough distance between them so that he wouldn't bump or startle Nicole awake. He took a book from the table at his side and read a bit, letting his brain wander unto the pages.

Harry's reading lasts only about ten minutes before Nicole moves and turns over, getting closer to Harry, still fully asleep, reaching out and getting a handful of his shirt and shifting herself even closer and resting her head on his stomach, still holding onto his shirt in her unconscious state.  
Unsure of what to do Harry considers getting off the bed, but then doesn't want to wake her, or freak her out if he suddenly moved away, so he opts for staying put, and he brushes some hair out of face before he picks his book back up and tries to focus back on the story again.

Harry tries to comprehend what he's reading, but he can't, not with Nicole's body so close to his, and the way she's loosening her grip on his t-shirt only to tighten it again and the small little whimpers she'd let out and curl up even tighter into a ball.

"Mmm, Harry?" Nicole shifts and flutters eyes open, her voice sleepy.  
"Nice to see you too, sleepy head." Nicole smiles sleepily and pushes herself up so she's sitting.  
"Umm, sorry for falling asleep all over you." She laughs softly at herself and her cheeks tint pink.  
"S'okay. Feeling better?"  
"Yeah… what time is it?"  
Harry picks up his phone to check, "'Bout three." Nicole seems to contemplate that and signs, "Wanna do something?" She smiles up at Harry, a bit mischievously.  
"What do you have in mind?"

 

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He should've known by her smile that they were going to get in some form of trouble, or nearly get into trouble. Nicole's idea of doing something ends up in the pair running through the corridors of the hotel, escaping crazy fans that had miraculously gotten inside, and nearly knocking over a paparazzi or two.  
Harry was having a blast, Nicole made him laugh so hard his stomach ached and running to get the fans off their backs was making everything that much more thrilling.

They reach their floor, taking the stairs the entire way up, and Nicole stops, leaning against the wall for support, laughing and trying to stop, but failing miserably.  
"I …can't… run…" She sputtered between pants and laughs. Harry laughed even harder, but hears the shrill screams of teenage girls getting closer, so he scoops her up and throws her over his shoulder, taking off running down the corridor, banging on the first familiar room number, which happened to be Ed's.

Ed throws his door open and the two stumble in, Harry falls over and takes Nicole with him, ending up a tangled mess, laughing like idiots.  
"What in the hell are you guys doing?" Ed asks with a smile on his face, clearly amused by the pair.  
"Having fun… and escaping teenage girls." Harry laughs as he speaks, still catching his breath as well.  
"I'm so tired. …and hungry. I'm gonna die." Nicole complains in a funny voice.  
"You sound like Niall, let's round up the boys and go eat." Harry stands up and goes to help Nicole up, extending a hand to pull her up.  
"I can't walk. I can't move. I need a wheelchair, I need a power scooter, put me in a shopping cart and push me around, my legs are broken, I'm dead… I'm dying. Harry Styles has killed me." She laughs and flails her arms, ending in faking dead.

"Okay then, continue on being dead." Harry tells her with a chuckle, then scoops her up again, fitting her over his shoulder just like before and she squeals and laughs, "Ahh! No! I can walk!" She protests and wiggles in Harry's grip.  
"No you can't, you're dead. I killed you." Harry teases.  
"Noooo I'm alive!" She giggles and pats at Harry's lower back at an awkward angle, being upside down and all.  
"Nope, you're dead. You can't walk, your legs are broken. I can't put you down or you'll die even more." Nicole laughs and gives up, going limp over Harry's shoulder with dramatic pout.  
"Please don't fart!" She says with a slap to Harry's small bum and Harry laughs, probably a bit too loudly and he nearly drops her, receiving a squeal and "Fucking hell, Harry!" 

The three round up the rest of the boys with just two stops, once at Zayn's room to pick up him and Liam who is also there, and then Niall and Louis who are together in Louis' room, all looking at Harry and laughing when they see Nicole draped over his shoulder like a rag doll, and she says "I'm dead and my legs are broken," to explain the odd situation. The boys just laugh and give Harry knowing looks because they know he wouldn't be acting this way if he didn't fancy her, which is nice for Harry, because he doesn't have to pretend that he doesn't care, but also nerve wracking because he knows they'll take the piss out of him later.

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	4. Chapter 4

The six boys and Nicole all get a large table at the restaurant in the hotel and fall into easy conversation, everyone laughing and smiling together, and it's great, Nicole feels like she fits and the boys are nothing but nice to her.  
Nicole is sat sandwiched between Harry on her left and Zayn on her right, Niall in front of her and he keeps making silly faces at her, along with Louis, and she tries not to laugh, but it's a challenge when they look so ridiculous.  
"You guys are ridiculous." She laughs and the two continue making silly faces at her.

"How's the menu looking?" Harry asks Nicole, leaning closer to her ear so not everyone will know how clueless she is.  
"Obnoxious, it's like trying to watch spanish television and only knowing how to say "Donde esta el bano?"" Harry laughs and tries to muffle it with his hand, which makes Nicole laugh in return.  
"Here's what I'm having." Harry says, pointing to his menu and something that has to do with chicken.  
"Mmmm, I think I'll go with the spinach salad.. gotha stay lean, you know?" She flexes her bicep, which is merely nonexistent and the worst example of being lean ever.  
"Yeah, she's got to keep her strength up for tonight." Niall says, laughing to himself, and Nicole looks around the table to see the rest of the boys, except Harry, smirking or trying to hide their laughs.  
"Am I missing something?" Nicole asks, feeling as though she's missed a massive part of the conversation.  
Harry scoots closer to her on the booth style seat their all sharing and his arm slips around her, like it's normal and like he's done it before, but Nicole doesn't say anything. Harry looks down at her with a sincere smile and says, "Don't worry about it." Nicole doesn't question it, she lets it go because the close proximity to Harry and the way the rest of the boys are looking at her has her feeling a bit uneasy and nervous, as well as hoping the weirdness won't last too long.

A waiter is soon at their table, taking their orders and the group is off talking again. Mostly about tonight, the show and then Nicole's departure.  
"So how far away do you live again?" Niall asks, taking a sip of his drink after.  
"About four hours." Nicole answers, fiddling with her straw and swishing the ice in her glass around with it.  
"Are we going to see you again?" Louis asks, which surprises Nicole because he hasn't said much to her, but he's been nice every time he has.  
"If you guys come back to Minnesota again, I'll definitely do what I can to see you…" She smiles up at the boys sadly, knowing they're busy and it might not actually work out successfully.  
"We won't be back here until July though…"  
"Oh… umm, that's a long time." Harry's hand runs up her back, reassuring, like he knows how bad she feels about not seeing them.  
"You can come see us in England though! We'll be recording and you could come visit, right?" Niall sounds so excited and hopeful and the rest of the boys are looking just as enthused as he is, and Nicole knows that her going to England isn't a possibility. She can't afford a ticket overseas and as much as she's always dreamed of going over seas, the money isn't there.  
"I'm sorry… I can't." Nicole says, hearing her own voice crack at the end, her eyes stinging at the corners, and she wipes her eyes under her glasses.

Harry wraps her in his arms, his fingers coming through her hair soothingly, "You don't have to cry, it's okay. Don't get upset." He says, quiet and soft, and Nicole listens, not wanting to full out cry… she'd been good so far.  
"I just feel bad, I can't afford to go to England, as much as I want to. And you guys have been so nice to me, and I'm just sorry, because you're my friends now and friends shouldn't not see each other for eight months… I'm sorry." Harry pulls back, looking at Nicole seriously before wiping the dampness from her cheeks, "You thought we'd make you pay to come see us?" Harry asks, a hint of amusement in his voice, as well as surprise. It was still odd for him to continue finding that Nicole expected nothing from him, he'd been used to everyone expecting something from him since he was put into the band, and to be just another guy to Nicole, to be just Harry and not being expected to be a certain person to her was odd for him.  
"Well… Yeah. I don't expect anyone else to get me there."  
"We'd be massive jerks if we made you pay to come to England just to see us. You don't have to worry about it, okay? We'll see you before July. We can promise that, deal?"  
Nicole just nods, not being able to get words out, knowing she'll cry harder than before. No one had ever been so nice to her in her life, and it was almost overwhelming to have it happening to her.

Nicole wiggles her way out of Harry's arms and slips her glasses off, wiping her eyes a little better and then slips them back on, only to see Niall looking a bit upset… sad really.  
"Ni? What's wrong, why are you looking so sad?"  
"M'sorry I made you cry." He looks down at his glass sadly.  
"Oooh! No no no, don't be sad." Nicole smiles at him and takes his hand over the table, holding it carefully in hers, "I'm okay, I promise… please don't be sad." Niall nods and smiles, a bit weaker than usual, but it's genuine and Nicole can tell, so she pats the top of his hand and lets go, setting her hands in her lap as she sits back again.

They receive their food shortly after and the rest of the meal is spent fairly quiet, little puffs of conversation flitting about every so often. But everyone is focused on their own thoughts, thinking about the show tonight and saying goodbye to Nicole. Nicole was dreading the goodbyes, she knew she'd miss them, the loud laugh Niall always has, Louis' silly antics and how he always tries to coerce someone into joining in on the fun, Zayn and the way he'd discuss art and books with her, Liam and the knowing looks he always gave, like he just understood how she felt without question, Ed and the way they could talk about everything, and the stories he told about touring and his music… and then Harry. She'd miss Harry the most, the way he asks lots of questions, genuinely interested in what she had to say, his laugh and the way it's sometimes too loud for a given moment and he gets embarrassed over it, and how he knew how to comfort her, and watched out for her the past day and a half… she'd miss him being there like he had been, always just walking distance away.

The mood was fairly lighter as they finished eating and left the restaurant. Nicole sneaks a quick hug with Niall, just so he would know that everything was okay and he gives her big smile in return, one that fully meets his eyes and she knew he wasn't sad anymore.

Harry and Nicole go to their room, the rest of the boys go to theirs to rest before the show as well. However Harry and Nicole found themselves lying on the bed, somehow ending up draped over one another, but talking, talking about stupid things, about how Harry grew up, his days in grade school, and his time on X-Factor, and Nicole told him about she grew up, and her time in high school and college. Harry tells her a lot about his family, his mother and sister, his dad as well as his step-dad. His eyes sparkle as he talks about them, the way he talks about his mother, Nicole could tell he loves her very much. He talks about his friends and how he misses them, how some of them changed after everything with One Direction happened, and how he doesn't talk to them anymore. He tells her about how he sometimes wishes he had more time off, to go home and see his loved ones, but even when he does have time off he wishes he had more to go back to, more old friends, someone who loves him the way Danielle, Perrie and Eleanor love Liam, Zayn and Louis.

"It just sucks, because while everyone thinks I'm dating all the time, that I have a girlfriend, I don't. I'm not seeing anyone, not willingly. It's publicity, it's them forcing me to drag a girl around, to bring her home when I would never introduce her to my family in the first place. I hate that so many people think I'm a bad person, that I sleep around and use girls all the time. I once read that I'd slept with like… 410 girls, who sleeps with that many people? I don't even have time to sleep around like that."

"They make you take girls home? That doesn't seem right, Harry. Why is it you that has to do these things?"  
"Yeah, they do. And it's not right, but I can't break contract or else I get sued, and basically anything I've made will be gone. And I couldn't leave the lads, if any one of us left it wouldn't be One Direction anymore."

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think badly of you. And now that I know, you can always call me and tell me how awful the girls are, and we can hate your public relations team together." Harry chuckles and Nicole's head moves up and down as his stomach rises and falls, the vibration of his laugh going through both of their bodies.  
"Thanks. But if I'm going to call you, I should probably have your phone number." Harry moves beneath Nicole and then waves his phone in front of her face.  
"Grab my phone and put yours in then." Nicole tells him, pointing to the other side of the bed where her phone is laying.  
Nicole types her number in under first name: Nicole. Last name: Is super cool.  
"I need the password." Harry says, handing her phone back.  
"One, two, one, seven." She tells him, and hears the click of it being unlocked.  
"Do you tell everyone your phone password?" Nicole laughs, "No, just guys in boy bands. …Plus it's tattooed on my arm." Harry laughs loudly, the one that usually embarrasses him, but it doesn't this time, he just falls into lighter chuckles.  
Nicole hands his phone to him and he looks at the new added contact, "Nicole Is super cool?" He says in a teasing tone.  
"Yeah, that's totally on my birth certificate, it's like how indians have last names like 'shot with two arrows' …I know a guy with that last name, his first name is Caleb, and he's cool."  
Harry laughs and stifles it with his hand, "I'm sure that that is a completely true statement. But what about an alternative last name, in case 'Is super cool' doesn't fit in the spaces for forms and things?"  
Nicole laughs, "Then I go by Henderson." Harry hums in response and smiles to himself, Nicole unable to see his irrational happiness as finding out her last name.

"So, where do you go after the show tonight?" Nicole asks, curious as to where he'll end up in just a number of hours.  
Harry's fingers find Nicole's hair and he plays with the curly brown strands, "I'll be taking you home."  
Nicole looks up at him, "What do you mean _you're_ taking me home? I thought Andy was?"  
"I got Paul to get me a car, and he said I could take you and get a separate flight to New York tomorrow."  
"Harry, you don't have to do that. You should stay with the boys, plus… what if we get followed?"  
"I want to. And nobody knows what the car looks like, so we'll be just fine."  
"Thank you." Nicole says, lying back down and resting her head on Harry's stomach as he mutters an "Of course."

 

"So New York then…" Nicole says with a smile that Harry can't see.  
"Yeah, interviews for radio and photo-shoots for a couple of magazines."  
"Then where do you go?"  
"London, we'll be there until the twenty-second of February. Then we start touring again."  
"That should be nice though," Nicole says, shifting a bit so she can look up at Harry, "You get to see your family again."  
"Yeah, it will be. I finally get to spend my birthday with them this year."  
"Anything you want for your birthday?"  
"Not really, I think I've got more than I could ask for, honestly."  
"Oh pshh, c'mon, anything, it doesn't even have to be anything big, like an album or tickets to a show, a new scarf, anything. There's got to be something."  
"I didn't think of it as a gift I'd like, but I had a record player at my mum's and I'd like to get a new one, so I don't have to take it out of my old room. Dunno, probably that though, maybe some records or something. …I'll probably just end up getting one when I get back home though… what about you, when's your birthday?"  
"The ninth, eight days after yours." Harry smiles as he looks down at Nicole, pleasantly surprised that she knew his birthday.  
"And what do you want?"  
"I think I'd just like to go to the cinema during the day and see back to back movies. I never have anyone to go with anymore… or time to go."  
"The cinema, that's all you want? Just to see a film?" Harry's fingers tug at Nicole's hair lightly and he mutters a 'sorry' and she smiles up at him.  
"Yeah. I usually only ever go to the cinema alone, I never have anyone to go with, who likes the same films as I do. And I love going places with people, even if we don't talk… I dunno. Most of the friends I have had used to say they liked hanging out with me because I wasn't always up doing stuff all the time and I didn't have to talk the entire time… But, I never went anywhere because I had no place to go, and never talked because I didn't know what to say…. and I miss being able to go places for a reason and talking to people because I have things to say. …Is that stupid?" Nicole looks up at Harry, his fingers brush hair away from her face and he smiles at her.  
"No. It's not stupid. I know what it's like to miss talking to people freely, and while it's different, I also know what it's like to miss going places. You miss actually going out, I miss going out without a barrage of photographers and mass of fans following my every move." Nicole watches Harry, who is grinning and looking right back at her when he suddenly pulls her up next to him.

"Hi." He says, smiling lazily and a bit goofy, "I'm tired."  
"I can see that." Nicole smiles at him as he yawns tiredly, she shifts herself and Harry and he settles to rest his head on her chest and he sighs heavily.  
"I'll make sure you get to go to the cinema on your birthday." Harry mumbles and snuggles closer her, barely awake.  
"Alright, just go to sleep now, Harry." Harry listens, his body sags into Nicole's and his breathing evens out, little snores escaping every so often. His youth is back, he looks unbothered as Nicole looks down at him, not daring to get up or move too much, she just runs her fingers through his thick brown curls and lets him sleep, even if he does move a bit and end up with an arm slung over her, nearly crushing her with how tight he's gripping her hip.

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The group decided not to eat again before the show, since they'd eaten not long before and were still quite full. Harry was able to sleep a bit longer, and then pretended to sleep just so he could continue feeling Nicole's fingers in his hair and her light touches on his arm that he'd wrapped around her as he slept.  
He faked waking up and when he didn't make a move to get up Nicole just continued, the gentle fingers in Harry's hair comforting him and nearly putting him back to sleep.

"How was your sleep?" She asks, her fingers brushing his earlobe, making him shiver a bit and she giggles to herself.  
"Good. Did you sleep?" Nicole shakes her head, "No. I didn't want to."  
"Well thank you, for staying with me." Her fingers push Harry's fringe out his eyes as he looks up at her and she smiles, "Of course. Couldn't have gotten up if I tried, Mr. Death Grip." She's smiling as she says it and pats his arms that's now holding her a lot less tight now.  
Harry hides his blush, dropping his head back onto her chest and she laughs and massages his scalp lightly with her fingers.

"You smell nice. What do you wear?" Nicole laughs and Harry feels it under him, rather than hears it.  
"Thank you. It's Giorgio Armani, Acqua Di Gioia."  
"I like it. Usually girls smell like candy and flowers, but you smell like rain. I like that better." Harry avoids looking up at her, his cheeks hot from admittance and he questions why he'd even say that.  
"Well thank you. I'm glad you enjoy my rain scent."  
"I do. …We should probably meet everyone down in the lobby." Once again Harry makes no move to get up, he doesn't want to. He wants to lay on the bed with the smell of rain surrounding him.  
"You know… we can't actually go anywhere if we don't get up." Her fingers brush Harry's ear again and he shivers, unsure if it's because he likes it so much or because the touch is so gentle and soft.  
"Cold?" She asks, her hand running up his arm slowly and goosebumps rise up on his skin.  
"N-no. M'fine. Wanna go downstairs now?" Harry feels her press a kiss to his curls and he fights the heat making its way to his cheeks at such a gentle and caring gesture. She brushes some hair from his face before saying, "Okay."

 

They finally get up, moving a bit slow, Harry tired and probably needing more sleep, and Nicole letting him be sluggish. They head down to the lobby, lugging bags behind them to meet everyone else, to go to the venue and get all ready for the show.  
Once they get downstairs they're being told to go outside right into a car and there are still people waiting to get pictures of them outside. It's loud and the flashes are bright enough to blind.  
Harry looks to Nicole and thinks she's better at ignoring it than he is, she's better at not caring that her picture is being taken, capturing every footstep she's taking, every move she makes, she just doesn't seem to care.  
…Well, until the obscenities start, and it's not until someone calls her 'fat and disgusting,' that she looks up, catches the person who said those words and stares at them, the cameras stop flashing so fast and people stop talking so loud, and Harry watches her stare at the woman in the crowd with intense eyes, she looks like she's about to say something, tell the woman off, cry even, but she doesn't. She keeps staring and everyone is watching her, waiting for her to make a move. She finally steps forward, toward the woman… or more so the girl who is probably barely eighteen, who called her such hurtful things, and she's calm, surprisingly so, but still staring at her intensely.  
"I just want you to know that those words are ones I have heard, several times over, I've heard worse as well, but I'd like you to know that those words do damage, they hurt. Would you like to see what they do?" She steps closer to the woman and holds her arm out in front of her and people are snapping pictures again, not as quick as before, but catching her movement.  
"Do you see? These tattoos aren't just there for decoration, I put them there to cover the scars that were there, they cover all those words people called me, they cover 'fat' and 'disgusting' and if you touch them you can still feel them, all those words are hidden but not gone. So I'd just like you to know that calling someone hurtful things does more damage then you're thinking while you say them. So I ask you to please think before you speak, because while I'm now strong enough to not take those words to heart, not everyone is, and I'd hate to see your words cause scars on someone else's body."  
And the crowd who had gathered to take pictures and catch a glimpse of One Direction is now gapping, openly gapping at the scene they've just witnessed, unbelieving that a girl no one really knows just stood up for herself and stopped everyones greedy actions in getting the perfect picture… and she doesn't look back at the woman in the crowd once she turns around, she just walks to Harry and he slips an arm around her waist and leads her to the car that's waiting for them.  
For the first time she doesn't seem so strong to Harry and the boys, like she's able to handle everything going on around her, and the boys all see this. They're quiet and try not to look at her like she's just confessed to self harming because of people who didn't care about the words they spewed and Harry looks at all of them and knows they all are feeling the same way: hurt. Hurt for her, hurt for what she went through and those words she heard. Hurt because she's being called those bad words again, because of her association with them and hurt because she's been called them enough to have found a way to not believe them, and they all know you don't find that without a lot of pain first.

"Do you think I hurt her feelings? People won't be mean to her now, will they?" Nicole's sudden concern for the woman who had called her obscene names takes everyone off guard, her concern for the woman's safety and wellbeing after she'd just called her terrible things was shocking. No one says anything, because chances are that the woman won't be treated too great if people find out who she is, it's happened before, it's not something the boys take pride in, having fans who jump on people who don't entirely deserve it… but it happens and they can't do much to stop it once it starts.

Harry doesn't know how to tell her that sometimes standing up for yourself when you're in the spotlight can hurt others, unintentionally most times, and that even if someone does get a little hurt, you still stood up for yourself and that's what counts. So he doesn't say anything, he just pulls her closer to his side and has her rest her head against his arm, "She'll be okay. And I'm happy you said what you did. Lots of people are too afraid to admit those things. …You should be famous instead of me, just for that." Nicole laughs softly and shakes her head, although it's more like she's nuzzling into Harry's arm because she doesn't lift her head.

 

When they get to the venue there are even more people outside, fans in line waiting to get in, photographers, people without tickets trying to find some. They go around to a back entrance, away from all the people lurking in front and enter that way.  
Harry helps Nicole out of the car, taking her hand, being a gentleman, but after she's out her grip only loosens a little, so Harry holds her hand all the way in, tightening his grip so she knows she doesn't have to let go, and she doesn't. She holds his hand and walks close to him all the way to the dressing room. 

"I'll go with Ed now." She stops and slowly lets her hand drop from Harry's and smiles, making to turn and walk to Ed, who is only a few paces away, but Harry stops her, reaching a hand out to grab her by her waist and pull her back.  
"Hmm?" She hums in question, looking up at Harry with her eyes sparkling happily.  
"I'll see you soon." He tells her, pressing a kiss to her forehead and she looks up at him, squinting her eyes and smiling cutely, "Don't fall putting your trousers on." She laughs and turns away to Ed, and Harry goes to his dressing room with the rest of the boys, amused at the way Nicole used trousers, and he knew it was because she most likely knew that pants mean something different in England. 

 

 

"Oh my God! You so like her!"  
"WHIPPED!"  
"Ed was right! You're totally smitten!"  
"I cannot believe you right now! You're crushing on her so bad!"  
The teasing went on for longer than Harry would've preferred, the boys taking the piss because he likes Nicole and not doing a thing to hide it.  
They tease until Harry is nearly fully dressed and Lou Teasdale the boys' makeup artist is fixing his hair and says, "I think it's nice, finally seeing you with someone you really like… it's good." Harry smiles at her as she fixes his shirt collar.  
"Thank you, Lou. I'm going to find Nicole and Ed now."  
"Miss her already?" Zayn teases with a laugh.  
"I only have tonight, I don't know when I'll see her again." Zayn smiles understandingly, he has Perrie and uses his time to the fullest whenever they get the chance to be together, not knowing when they'll see each other again.

Harry goes backstage to find Ed and Nicole, avoiding talking to anyone who will take up too much of his time. He finds them sitting cross-legged on the floor, talking, once again with wild hand gestures and loud laughs and it's the first time Harry hears Nicole full out laugh, the kind that's loud and make your whole body shake, and she lays back on the floor and covers her face with her hands, laughing and trying to stop and Ed is laughing at her inability to stop.

"Am I interrupting?" Harry asks as he walks closer to them, Ed shakes his head and Nicole uncovers her face and looks at Harry, still lying back and smiling.  
"Hey Harry, you're looking dapper." She smiles and pats the floor beside her for Harry to come join them.  
"Hi. Thank you." Harry sits down beside her and Ed has a shit-eating grin on his face as he looks at Harry.  
"Are you guys doing Teenage Dirtbag tonight?" Ed asks, still smiling to himself.  
"What!? You guys play a song by Wheatus?" Nicole sits up fast and looks at Harry like it's the greatest news in the world, and Harry laughs at her reaction, "Yeah, d'you like them?"  
"This is really lame, but I used to listen to Teenage Dirtbag everyday in gym class when we had to run laps… It's such a good song!" Both Harry and Ed laugh, Harry's laugh the embarrassing loud one and he quickly covers his mouth after the initial "HAH!" escapes and Nicole falls back against the floor again and folds her arms over her face.  
"Don't laugh at me! I told you that in confidence you jerks!" She laughs and trying to be serious, and when she uncovers her face she's trying not to smile, but that only makes her smile bigger.

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Ed and Nicole stay on the side of the stage to watch the show, and Ed eventually goes out and sings Little Things with them, and it's a great surprise for the fans. All of the boys look so happy and they're bouncing all over the stage, being silly and getting the crowd to react with insane levels of noise.  
Once Ed comes back he stands next to Nicole again and they watch the boys move into another song, bouncing all over again. Niall does a jump that's ridiculously high and probably unsafe with his bad knee and Harry slips and falls on his butt, and thankfully Liam is right there to help him back up and he seems relatively unharmed.  
And then it's time for Twiiter Questions and Nicole and Ed watch them do stupid dances and horrible impressions of one another and then Ed is looking at Nicole with a weird expression and Nicole tries to focus on what Zayn is saying over the loudness of the crowd.

"If Nicole is here, I'd like to let her know that a lot of us think she's amazing for standing up for herself today, it meant a lot to me." Nicole sees Zayn read off the projector behind him and drops her jaw.  
"Well she is here!" Niall says, looking at Nicole from his spot on stage, "would you like to hear what she has to say to your tweet, Melissa in row 6 section B?" And then everyone is screaming and clapping and Ed is pushing her onto the stage where Liam comes to her aid and pressed a hand to her back, guiding her along.

"Hey guys, this is Nicole, we've just met her a day ago and she's our new friend!" Nicole looks around the stage and sees Harry walking closer to her with a smirky smile on his face.  
"What do ya think of Melissa's tweet, Nic?" Harry asks as he gets closer and wraps an arm around her waist, holding his mic up for her.  
"Uhm… well, it's very nice. Thank you for being so lovely to me… I'm sorry, I don't really know what to say, just.. thank you." Harry smiles at Nicole and hears Louis taking over with speaking, but she can't really make out what he's saying because Harry is whispering to her.  
"You did good, I'll see you after the show… pumpkin." Harry laughs breathily against her ear and she pulls away to give him a tap against his cheek and he laughs, louder this time, audible for her and the audience and Nicole walks off the stage, hearing "GOODBYE PUMPKIN!" From the five boys and when she turns around she sees them all standing together, smiling like idiots, so she gave them the finger when she's out of view of the crowd and she watches them laugh about it together.

 

"I was wondering, have you checked your twitter since you've been here?" Ed asks, waving his phone with Nicole's twitter up.  
"Umm, no. I have like 25 followers, I'm not too worried about it." Ed laughs and puts his phone up to Nicole's face.  
"You're long past 25 followers… and you've been a trending topic… twice."  
"Jesus… how did they even find me? That-… that number is in the thousands…" Nicole pushes the phone away to find a place to sit, it's a lot to take in, people knowing who she is and she's unsure of how she'll do with all of it… She's used to saying and doing whatever she pleases, but now thousands of people are watching and waiting and that's a lot of pressure.

"You okay, Nic?" Ed asks, squeezing her shoulder lightly before sitting beside her.  
"Yeah, just.. I dunno. These people don't even know me and I don't know them and they're all lurking there, and I don't even know what they're waiting for, I don't even know why people would care about what I have to tweet about."  
"You trended worldwide first when you were with Harry at the mall, and then again when that woman was bad mouthing you. People have different reasons for being interested, some will be interested because you're associated with the band… mostly Harry. And then others will take interest because of what you said to that woman, because you weren't afraid to stand up and not let her hurt you… that's why I followed you."  
Nicole looks up at Ed and sees him smiling softly, holding out his phone to show her that he does follow her now. Nicole laughs, but it comes out choked and weird because she thinks she may cry.  
"You follow me… this is so weird. …But thank you. Thank you for being such a great person." Ed laughs lightly and pats her on the back, "It is weird, but it's kind of your life right now. Just don't change who you are for anybody. Be you and if they like you or hate you is up to them, but none of it will matter if you stay true to who you were before all of this happened." Nicole hugs him, and tries not to get emotional again. Ed makes the hug extra long, knowing she needs it and it makes her smile when they pull apart, Nicole thanking him again.

And then the boys are closing their set and Ed tells Nicole to maybe tweet some people back, so she pulls her phone out, "I highly doubt anyone would actu-" She stops as she scrolls through her hundreds of mentions and the number grows as she gets further and further.  
"I was wrong." She says to Ed, shaking her head in disbelief and showing Ed the mentions. He helps her pick a few to reply to.  
One person asks what her favorite beverage is, so she tells them it's orange juice.  
Another asks how she met the boys and she says, "By a divine miracle" and Ed laughs at it.  
Someone else asks how many tattoos she has and what she's studying in college and she says, "Probably too many for someone studying to be an English teacher." Ed smiles and says, "I think you're getting the hang of this."

Ed and Nicole leave the stage area to find the boys and they're all in the dressing room, Niall's laughing at something Zayn and Louis are doing and Liam is texting whilst sitting on a small sofa pushed against a wall and Harry is talking to Paul, looking a bit on edge like he's trying not to raise his voice, so Nicole sits on the sofa next to Liam and he pops his head up from his phone and smiles at her.  
"Did you like the show?"  
"Yeah, you guys were amazing. …Except the whole Pumpkin bit, I'll be getting revenge on you all for that." Liam laughs and sets his phone down.  
"You can blame Harry for that one. He just wanted to get a reaction out of you."  
"He'll regret it later." Nicole says, a purposeful smile on her face and Liam laughs, knowing she's only joking.

Harry walks toward Liam and Nicole, looking a bit flustered and mostly like he's trying not to let it show. He sits on the arm of the sofa and smiles at the two like nothing is wrong, but from the way he looked moments before Nicole can tell something is up.  
"Hey… Are you alright?" She asks carefully, grazing her thumb against the side of his thigh, not giving the gesture much thought.  
"Yeah, m'fine. We have to go soon." Nicole nods in a silent, "I know" and stands up when Harry does, Liam doing the same.  
Nicole hugs Liam first and he tells her he's glad Harry rescued her and to not be afraid to text him and Nicole smiles at him as they pull away and she tells him she can't because she doesn't have his number… which ends up in her phone being passed around to all the boys, aside from Ed and Harry who are already in her contacts.

Nicole says goodbye to Niall next and he tells her that he'll be seeing her soon, so they don't have to say goodbye, which has Nicole tearing up and she chokes out some words she's not even sure of and Niall gives her a tight squeeze before pulling away with his infectious smile.  
Louis is next and he says he's happy he got to meet her and hopes to see her again soon, and Nicole tells him she's happy to have met him as well and they pull apart and smile at each other softly.  
And then Zayn, he hugs her really tight and tells her to text him so he has someone to talk about tattoos and books with, and Nicole laughs and agrees before he adds, "I'm glad our Hazza found you, but I think tonight is going to be hardest on him… take it easy on him, yeah?" Nicole smiles at him and tells him, "I'll try my best to ease the pain." And it's obviously meant to be cheeky and has Zayn stifling a laugh with his hand, glancing at Harry in the corner by the door, and Nicole smiles back over at him.  
And then there's Ed, he hugs Nicole and includes soft back pats, which almost make Nicole laugh but he speaks up, "I'm going to miss you, but I have a show here soon, so I'll make sure to see you." Nicole smiles at him as they break apart and he makes her promise that she'll text him and tell him really funny things, so she pinky promises him and everyone laughs at them.

"Kay… so I'll see you guys soon. I'm not going to prolong this because I'll start crying like a baby." Nicole already has tears in her eyes as she gives them all a slightly watery smile, "Okay! I'm leaving, I can't look at all of your handsome faces anymore. Ya'll are amazing and I'll see you soon." She wipes the dampness from her eyes and turns around to face Harry.

Harry leads them out of the building, Andy following to make sure there are no people lurking from the show. And Harry and Nicole get into a black car and are on the road, setting off to bring Nicole back home.

The ride is fairly quiet, and Nicole can tell there's something on Harry's mind, but can't decide if she should ask or not, so she leaves it for awhile… until he's too quiet and his face looks way too serious for driving.  
"You're not fine. What's wrong?"  
Harry looks over at her for a moment, "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit caught up in my head." He looks back to the road and Nicole watches as his grip on the steering wheel tightens and loosens, and then tightens again.  
"You can tell me, if you want. …You don't have to, but I'll listen if you need to talk."  
"It's not… I didn't want to have to talk about this tonight… it just sucks." Harry mumbles something else, but Nicole doesn't catch it.  
"You don't have to talk about it. You just seemed a bit upset, I'm sorry." Nicole turns away and looks out the window, sensing the car ride has gone downhill spectacularly fast.  
"No… I didn't mean it like that. I have to talk to you about it… I don't really have a choice." Nicole looks at him and sees his jaw set tight and fingers gripping the steering wheel to the point where his knuckles have turned white.  
"Hey, it's fine," She says, touching her fingers to his on the steering wheel, "Calm down, whatever it is, I can deal. Just please, stop giving this wheel your death grip." Nicole feels his fingers loosen around the wheel and she lifts her hand, taking it away, but Harry takes it and laces their fingers.  
"Is this okay?" He asks, setting their locked hands against his leg, a comfortable position for both of them, his hand is warm on Nicole's, swallowing hers entirely.  
"Yeah, it's okay." Harry smiles lightly and looks at the road.  
"So, when I tell you this, please remember that this is not coming from me, this is not me asking, or even my choice to have this be a topic of conversation right now." Nicole shifts in her seat to face Harry as he glances between her and the road.  
"Okay, go on."  
"The reason I was… upset, earlier and now still, I guess. Anyway, it's because when I was talking to Andy he told me that management had been in contact with the team that was with us and they along with PR have decided that they'd like you to sign a contract." Harry looks at Nicole nervously and back to the road, his hand tightening around hers.  
"A contract for what?"  
"Basically it's a contract that would legally bind you to showing up with us, going to events every so often, tweeting certain things, and other media stuff, and then also if anything ever happens between us, like… the band and you, if we ever fall out or fight or something, then it'd be in your contract that you'd be unable to say anything negative about us to the press or on social media outlets. It's stupid, the only reason they want you to do this is basically for publicity, because people seem to like you, and I'm not saying they shouldn't, but PR is jumping into it really fast, we've only just met you, and there's a lot of hype going around about you."  
"So… they want me to be legally obligated to do whatever they say and go wherever they want me to go whenever they say?"  
"In a shorter version… yes."  
"Uhh… is it okay if I say that that's probably the most unlikely thing to happen on Earth?" Harry turns to Nicole, smiling and nodding at her.  
"I mean, I'm cool with coming to see you guys and hang out and stuff, but I don't want it to be because I have to. And if anything were to ever happen between any of us I'm not going to tweet awful things about it. I promise you that. And I just really hate being told what to do, so you can tell your management or PR team that no, I will not sign a contract. If I want to hang out with you or any of the boys I will contact you or them, I want them and you to want to see me as well, not be required to. If any of you ask me to go somewhere with you and I can manage it with work and school, I will. And I will tweet super supportive things as well, like I'll be the soccer mom that attends every game with a foam finger and a jersey with her kids number on it, shouting things from the bleachers." Harry laughs and glances over at Nicole, "I'm really glad you don't want to sign it. Thank you."  
"I'm happy to retain my freedom."

 

From then on the car ride is easy and filled with random conversation, ranging from the topic of American things versus English things, and to telling stories about their sisters and parents, and favorite things, colors, foods, articles of clothing, music, everything.

They manage the entire four hours with only one stop at a gas station and barely any silence.

 

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	5. Chapter 5

"Turn left here and then a quick right." Nicole points and Harry flicks the blinker on and turns quickly, pulling into a small parking lot, almost every spot filled.  
"I'm number eight… right there." She points again and Harry pulls into her parking spot and parks.  
Harry expects her to sit a moment before getting out, maybe say something, but she doesn't, she takes her seatbelt off and gets out of the car, so he follows and opens the boot.

Once they get her bags out she looks at Harry and scrunches her nose up cutely, "What?" He asks, referring to her facial expression.  
"I was going to ask if you wanted to come up, but that kind of sounds like a line from a cliche romcom, and yeah. So instead of saying that, I'm going to suggest you come see my super cool apartment in a nonsexual manner, because it's basically the coolest place in the world. …as you can tell." She gestures to the light blue complex, which is basically just a rectangle with windows, nothing special.  
"I would love to see your super cool apartment in a nonsexual manner." Nicole laughs and walks in front of Harry, not telling him to follow or giving him any instruction so he quickly shuts the boot and locks the car.

The two get inside the complex and it's quiet, standard with bare walls, about twelve doors on the first floor and Nicole goes up the stairs easily for someone of her short height carrying two bags.  
She gets to the top stair and she's wobbly, barely balancing, about to fall backward, "Jesus!" Harry says a bit too loudly for the time of night, but he pushes her forward, just enough for her to get her balance back and she starts giggling, leaning against the wall, "You could've died!" Harry whisper-yells at her and she's pink cheeked and trying to be quiet.  
"It's actually happened before, but my mom caught me, and I had grocery bags."  
"That was scary, stop carrying things." She laughs and Harry picks up one of the bags she had dropped when she was having her giggle fit.  
"Okay, okay… follow me." She only walks a few steps before she stops again, in front of door eight and unlocks it.

Nicole walks in, flips a light on and Harry follows her. Her house smells like vanilla and her rain scented perfume and Harry smiles.  
There's barely a distance from the door to the kitchen, and then into a living room with a sofa and a chair, a computer and desk in the corner by a three paneled window. A television sat in he opposite corner, an older television set, one with the big back, not a flat screen.  
"You can look around if you want," Nicole smiles at him, "There's not a whole lot, but feel free. Would you like something to drink, or eat?" She's in her kitchen, a bar-like counter separating the two.  
"Just water would be fine." She smiles and turns around to her refrigerator.  
She flips the kitchen light off and walks to Harry in the living room, handing him a bottle of ice cold water and he thanks her.

"I'm going to set my bags in my room, I'll be right back. The bathroom is right behind you if you need it." Nicole grabs her bags and turns around a corner and disappears. 

Harry takes the time to look at her walls, each decorated differently. As you walk in, her drawings are there, or what Harry assumes are her drawings. And then one wall holds various paintings, a big clock with both her time and London's, which makes Harry smile, and then a book shelf filled to the brim with books, and even more stacked on the sides and on top of it. The next wall is three big windows and a battered skateboard on the sill of the middle one, carefully balanced there. The skateboard is unexpected, but seems very _her_ now that Harry sees it. And then there is her computer, a new looking iMac and post-it notes on the desk, filled with her handwriting, to-dos, to-buys, and one that has songs on it she wants to download. Two paintings sit above her desk, One big one on top, just like the tattoo of triangles on her arm, and a smaller version with different colors below it. And then a cork-board neatly organized with things, a few pictures, tags from clothing lines Harry has never heard of, wrist bands from events, little flyers from bands, and a graduation hat tassel, hanging from the side. And then there's a few personal pictures, they all look like they were taken a long time ago, they're all black and white and the people in them look to be dressed as if they're from the 40's or 50's and maybe 60's. Harry also takes note in how those are the only personal pictures she has on display.

"Hi, sorry, I just put some stuff away." She appears again with a smile.  
"Just wondering, do all american girls keep art desks in their living rooms?" She laughs and Harry watches her cheeks flush.  
"Mmm, I'm afraid not. We're a rare breed. …Would you like to see what I'm working on?" She walks forward when Harry nods, probably a bit too excitedly.

She shuffles through some large papers on the desk and pulls one out and sets it on top of everything, it's about three feet long and two feet wide and filled with waving lines, all going in different directions.  
"I know it looks like nothing right now, but I'm going to fill the whole paper with these lines, and they'll eventually all connect and then I want to fill in the spaces with color, but I've got to get over my color phobia still." She laughs and looks at Harry as he inspects the paper.  
"You should show Zayn once you're done. He loves stuff like this."  
Nicole smiles, "I will." She goes to sit in the chair she was just standing behind.

"So, did you want to stay here tonight?" She shifts on the chair so her legs are hanging over the side and she's looking at Harry.  
"W-what?" Harry asks, unsure of the situation.  
Nicole laughs to herself and kicks her legs out, stretching them, "I asked if you'd like to stay here tonight. I just thought I'd ask since it's late and driving four hours without being familiar with the area is shit."  
"Umm… you want me to stay?" Nicole smiles, and Harry is unsure if she's mocking him or not.  
"Nope, I absolutely loath the idea of having you stay the night after being nothing but nice to me for the past two days… I would hate it if you stayed here, really, it'd be the worst." She's smirking, definitely mocking, the epitome of sarcasm.  
"Fine then, guess I'll be going then." Harry sticks his nose up and acts like he's heading for the door.  
"Oh hush, just go get your bags and come back up."  
"Fine." Harry says, not needing to be coerced any further.  
Harry hears her laugh softly as he closes the door behind him and basically skips to the car, probably way to excited to spend the night with someone he won't be having sex with, or any intimate relations with.

Harry gets back to her door and opens it, Nicole is walking into the living room from her bedroom.  
"You can put your stuff in my room, I'm going to shower quick, if that's alright." Harry nods at her and walks to her bedroom.  
After a moment she pokes in, "If you get hungry or something just go for it. And don't be weirded out by how much celery I have, my friend Adam and I were trying to figure out if we liked it, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it… I dunno… okay, I'm going to stop being weird and go shower." Nicole covers her face with her hands and walks away and Harry can hear her quiet laugh, which makes him smile. He thinks she's silly and cute and kind of weird, who buys a food they don't know if they like?

Harry hears the shower start and he sits on her bed, her room is small and the walls are covered in pictures. More personal than her living room and most look to be personal photography of people, animals, landscapes. They're all amazing. Harry thinks she's got more talent in her than he thought, not that he'd doubted her, but he didn't realize she was _that_ good at drawing, and painting and didn't even know she was into photography. She's got awards for her pieces too, ribbons pinned onto the pictures they're awarded to and plaques for best display, best overall, certificates, the whole nine yards.

 _I just ran out of bandaids, I don't even know where to start, 'Cause you can bandage the damage, you never really can fix a heart!_

Her voice is muffled by the water of the shower, but Harry can hear how it breaks. It amazes him that she doesn't care that he can hear her. Her voice is the kind you'd want to hear in a coffee shop, accompanied by a guitar and dim light. She sounds a bit broken, like her voice can't help but sound pained and hurt.

Harry goes to the living room again and sits on the couch, taking his phone out, sending a quick text to the boys, telling them he's staying with Nicole tonight and then another to Andy to update him  
Harry scrolls through twitter, going first to follow Nicole, only to see the rest of the boys, including Ed, have already done so, and she has thousands of followers already.  
Lots of Harry's mentions pertain to if he's seeing her or if they're together. To which he chooses not to reply, not wanting to start a massive uproar with fans or management.

Harry hears the water turn off and he scrolls through some more tweets, finding that people are fairly receptive of Nicole and there are people telling him to marry her and that they would have cute kids because they both have brown curly hair and green eyes.  
So Harry tweets, _You will never know how beautiful you are to me._ Mostly to see if the fans will go wild over it, and also because it's truthfully how he feels, and it's vague enough to not get him in trouble with anyone.

Nicole walks out of the bathroom with just a towel on her hair and one around her upper body, she doesn't even look in the living room, she just goes straight to her room and in a few seconds she's walking back to the bathroom with clothes in her hands and she shuts the door behind her. 

When the door opens again she's dressed in short pajama shorts, a grey long sleeve, tight around her and Harry can see the curves of her hourglass shaped body, even from the side she's got great curves, along with the fact that she is definitely not wearing a bra and he tries not to look, not to jump to conclusions as to why she'd not wear one if a guy was over.

She slips her glasses on and runs her fingers through her wet hair before she takes the time to look out and realize Harry is still around, and she smiles at him and flicks the light off and walks out.

"You can change if you want. Pretty sure jeans and a leather jacket isn't your first choice for sleeping attire." Harry gets up and goes to her bedroom to find his bags, pulling out sweatpants and deciding to forgo a shirt since it's warm and he usually sleeps naked anyway.

Harry changes in the bedroom, slipping out of his clothes and into his baggy sweatpants and suddenly realizes that he feels oddly at home in Nicole's apartment. It's got a homey vibe, like even if you've just been there once you feel like you can relax and snuggle up and it's warm and feels like someone good made it that way. It's comfortable and Harry kind of falls in love with all of the odd paintings and piles of books he's never read and the tags from clothing brands he's never heard of. He smiles to himself as he folds up his clothes and thinks to ask for a phone charger.

"Nicole?" Harry calls from the bedroom and hears Nicole get up and then she's in the doorway, "You alright?" She asks and Harry smiles, because yes, he's perfectly alright.  
"Yeah, I'm good. I was just wondering if you've got a phone charger I could use?"  
"Oh, yeah. I'll plug it in for you." She holds her hand out and Harry gives her his phone.  
She walks to right side of the bed and lifts up a pillow and then a wire and she plugs the phone in.  
"You keep your phone charger under your pillow?"  
"Uh yeah, I have to be ready in case someone doesn't call me at 2AM." She smiles at sets the pillow back down. Harry smiles at her sarcasm and thinks to himself that her humor is probably one of his favorite things about her.

"What side do you want?" She asks, gesturing to the bed.  
"Doesn't matter, what side do you usually sleep on?"  
Nicole smirks, "I sleep on all sides, my bed and I have no boundaries."  
Harry chuckles, "Then I'll take the left side since it's closer." She smiles, "Okay then."  
She gets up and walks out of the room, leaving Harry to wonder what she's doing, until he hears the door lock and then the lights are all turned off and she's back.

"Do you have to be up at a certain time?" She asks as she pulls the duvet and sheets back.  
"Half eight."  
"Okay, if I'm not up, wake me and I'll make you breakfast before you go."  
She curls under the blankets and flicks her hair behind her, over the pillow and faces Harry as he crawls under the blankets as well. They smell like her, rainy scented and a little like lavender.  
She's quiet and looks warm and soft and comfortable with a small content smile on her lips.  
Harry gets comfortable under the blankets, and this time he reaches for her hand and she takes it, her small thin fingers lacing with his. Their entwined hands lie there between the two of them, quiet and unsure of what it all means, but they don't talk. Harry is too unsure and doesn't want to ruin it, whatever it is.

But Nicole seems to want to ruin it… but she doesn't. Not to Harry. To Harry she just makes it better. She scoots closer to him and he can smell the lavender scent on her skin much better now and he inhales, wanting to remember it.  
"Am I going to have to make all of the moves?" Harry can hear the smile in her voice and faces her, her dark green eyes are already looking at him, more nervous then her voice let on.  
"I wasn't sure if moves were allowed." Harry tells her, and she lets out an airy laugh.  
"They are… within reason of course." Harry can't help but chuckle at that, this is the hardest he's worked for a girl in ages and she doesn't seem to care. She's got so much control it's almost scary.  
"What's out of reason?" Harry smirks at her, being cheeky on purpose of course.  
"I'll let you know when you tread on that territory." She pecks a kiss to his cheek and he pulls her closer and she lets out a girlish squeak.  
"I feel like I'm trespassing." Nicole laughs and their legs tangle together under the sheets.  
"Believe me, you'll be forewarned before you trespass." She curls into Harry and her fingers toy with his curls, soft and gentle touches, massaging and oh so soothing. Harry lets out an involuntary 'Mmmmm' and she giggles softly to herself, her fingers trailing down to the nape of his neck, playing with his curls there, and then down… down and she traces over his sharp collarbones, the light sensation of her nails on his skin making his stomach flutter and flip and makes his skin feel hot where ever she touches. She's so soft and gentle, so incredibly careful as she glides her fingernails over his skin, and Harry thinks it's one of the best things in the world.

Her fingertips trail across Harry's chest and rest there, right below his heart as she draws random patterns on his skin, light, soft, and so so gentle, feather light and lovely.  
"Goodnight, Harry." She says with a kiss to his collarbone, light, soft, gentle.  
"Goodnight, Nicole." Harry kisses her hair and huddles closer to her, she smells like lavender and rain and Harry thinks he'd like to fall asleep with that scent beside him every night if he could.

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Harry woke to the smell of bacon, eggs and toast.  
Throwing on a hoodie he goes out to find Nicole in the kitchen.  
"Hey, how'd you sleep?" She smiles and waves with a spatula in her hand and Harry smiles back at her, "Good, really good."  
"You can shower if you'd like. Food is gonna be a bit yet." Harry watches as she grabs a bowl and begins stirring.  
"Umm, okay. Yeah, thank you." Nicole smiles and does a little shooing motion to Harry and he goes to the bedroom to gather the things he needs for a shower.

Harry showers quickly and tries to stop thinking so madly about how he has to leave in a matter of hours and may not see Nicole for awhile.  
He rubs a towel over his hair and dries it a bit, along with his body and tries to get the pissed off look off his face, he really doesn't want to leave. 

Harry walks out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and Nicole is setting pancakes on a big red square plate, along with bacon, eggs and toast. She pours a glass of orange juice and Harry is tempted to tell her to stop. Stop being so good, so nice, so sweet and perfect. But he doesn't, because it's not right and she's just who she is and she has no idea that it's killing him knowing he has to leave, because he knows he can't come back until PR or management say he can.

"Wow." Is all Harry can say as he looks at the amount of food Nicole made for him. She looks up at him and smiles, dimples poking each of her cheeks, deeper than even Harry's and Harry thinks hers are ten times sweeter.  
"I wasn't sure what you'd like to have, so I kind of made a lot. …Is orange juice okay?"  
"Yes. It's perfect," Harry fights back the 'you're perfect' on the tip of his tongue, "You didn't have to go through all this trouble… thank you. It looks great."  
"I wanted to. Here," She says, handing him his plate, "I'll bring your juice to you, so you don't spill it." Harry thinks that she's almost like a mum, but in a good way. In the way that she just cares about the little things, going the extra mile because to her it makes a big difference, she just cares about you and your wellbeing, like mums do.

Harry sits down and sure enough Nicole comes behind him and sets his glass of juice beside him on a small table and then returns to the kitchen, reappearing shortly after with her own glass, but no food in hand.

"You're not eating?" Harry asks carefully.  
"Nah, I will later." She walks past him and sits on the floor in front of the sofa and sips from her glass as the news plays on the television, volume low but audible enough for her to hear it.

"You made all that breakfast and you're not going to eat it? Why would you do that?" Harry asks, probably sounding a bit too confused and curious.  
"It's just breakfast, it's not like I went and mined a brick of gold. I made you breakfast because I wanted to. I figure you don't get very many breakfasts outside of restaurants and hotels and things…" She sips from her glass again and lowers it slowly. Harry can't help but look at her, she's hard for him to figure out and he desperately wants to, but she's guarded and very much in control of everything… at least to Harry she is.

"Th-thank you… really." Nicole just smiles and silently sips from her glass, turning back to the news, something about a car accident up by cities and one of the victims had died, and Nicole looks sad over it, like it personally impacts her life and she doesn't even know the person… Harry just wonders what she's thinking.

As Harry finishes, Nicole gets up and asks, "Done?" and after Harry's nod she takes his plate and glass with a kind smile and takes them to the kitchen. The faucet goes on right away, and Harry instinctively rises to go help, just like he would at home with his mum.

"Can I help?" Harry asks, standing beside her.  
"Are you all packed?" She asks, sounding a bit sad and her face confirms how she feels.  
"Yeah. So can I help?" Harry asks again, not wanting to dwell on his departure.  
"You can dry." She says, handing him a dish towel with cartoon cats on and he smiles at it, but doesn't say anything, he just thinks it's a very _Nicole_ thing for her to have.

They wash and dry the dishes in silence, not uncomfortable, just a bit sad and they both know what's coming along in a matter of minutes.

The two finish the dishes and Nicole dries her hands, looking at Harry with sad green eyes, watery and upset.  
"I'll walk you down, if you like." Harry just nods and walks to the bedroom to get his bag and tries to stop the lump in his throat from becoming anymore unbearable, and the stinging in his eyes is threatening to blur his vision.

Nicole follows behind Harry as they leave her apartment, Nicole looking so much sadder than Harry had ever seen, but he can see she's trying to hide it.  
She walks with him all the way to the car and helps him put his bags into the boot and they stand there in front of each other, both with equally sad looks on their faces, like everything is just falling down around them.  
"Umm… drive safe okay? And text me when you get to the airport, so I know you've made it there alright." Her bottom lip is wobbly and she refuses to look at Harry as she talks, and he feels so bad, to be the person who has to leave, always being the person who has to leave everyone else.  
"I will. I promise." Harry hugs her and she falls into him, like she's too tired to stand on her own anymore.  
"I'll miss you." Harry tells her, and she makes a sad sound, "I'll miss you too." They hug for a long time, just standing there in the cold with their arms around each other, not wanting to let go.  
"I'll see you soon though. I promise. And I'll text you and call you, the others boys will too." Nicole nods into Harry's chest and pulls away slowly.  
"Okay, I'm gonna cry like a baby in about five seconds, so before that happens, thank you. Thank you for saving my life and being so amazing to me. And yeah… okay, it's happening, I'm crying… Jesus." Nicole wipes at her eyes as she looks up at Harry sadly, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth to stop it from trembling.  
"Don't cry. I'll see you in no time. I'm gonna go now, okay? Got a flight to catch." Harry hugs her again, but before he pulls away Nicole kisses his cheek with a broken whisper of "Goodbye." The sadness in her voice almost breaks him, but he keeps it in and waits to let his emotions get the better of him.

Harry gets into his car and backs out with a wave to Nicole as he drives off and watches her walk back to her complex through the rear view mirror.  
Harry only drives around the corner before going back, he'd never planned to drive back on his own. Andy had driven behind them the entire time and stayed at the only hotel the small town had to offer, which was actually quite nice.  
Harry wanted to leave the car for Nicole, since hers was broken and because it seemed to be broken quite a lot. He knew she had to work later today and she would find it there when she left. He scribbled a note to her as well, leaving it on the seat of the car and keeping the door unlocked.  
And then Andy is there for him, a big SUV pulling up beside him and he clambers in, relocating his bags from one vehicle to the other.  
Not even a mile down the road and Harry is getting the unbearable lump back in his throat and he cries as he looks out the window, pissed off about having to leave, always having to leave, never being able to stay in one place. He hates it more than he ever has in his life and punches the seat in front of him with a choked cry.

"Harry, calm down. You'll see her soon enough." Andy says, trying to get the younger boys to calm down and not to lash out again.  
"It's already been too long. I didn't want to leave." Harry huffs and crosses his arms, staring out the window broodingly, knowing he's being a bit immature and a bit stupid but he doesn't care. It's hard to care when you feel so attached to someone and have to leave for an undetermined amount of time, it doesn't matter that he's just met her, he doesn't care.

Andy doesn't say anything to Harry after that. Harry just plugs his headphones into his phone and tries to calm himself down and maybe sleep for a bit.  
It works. Only for about two hours, and then Harry's phone is buzzing, rather than playing music.  
Nicole's name, now with her real last name at the end, pops up on the screen and he quickly answers it, ripping the headphones out of his ears.  
"Nicole?" Harry asks, clearing his voice afterward, Andy glances back in the rear view and gives Harry a look.  
"Harry fucking Styles! Are you serious right now? I want to be really fucking pissed at you right now, but… UGH! A car? you left me your car!?" Harry can hear her voice crack, like she's been crying and her voice is raw. He just hopes she's not mad at him.  
"I wanted to make sure you had a way to get to work and school."  
"Do you realize that this is absolutely ridiculous? You're so crazy… wha- I… Christ, I don't know what to say."  
"It's not crazy… you made me breakfast." Harry knows it's an inadequate argument but putting it out there makes him feel better, because he really did appreciate the effort she put in for him.  
"Harry! Breakfast is nothing compared to you leaving me a car, a brand new car as a matter a fact… I mean, thank you, for being so thoughtful and nice, but you do realize that just leaving a car to me is one of the most ridiculous things in the world? I could crash it! Or… i dunno, I once ran into the side of my old house and ripped a side mirror off, this is a bad idea, Harry."  
Harry laughs, "Well, I can't really take it back… sooo it'd be great if you just hung onto it, until I'm back or something. And if anyone asks… you're babysitting it, for an undetermined amount of time that could potentially be forever."  
"Harry! You're such a twat. You know that if anyone finds out about this it's going to be a ridiculously big deal… and your PR team probably already hates my guts. You're crazy… in a great way… I don't even know what to do right now." Harry smiles at how at a loss for words she is, pleased by her reaction.  
"Doesn't matter what PR says, it's my decision and you're not on contract for anything so they can't do anything to you. And thank you, I think 'crazy in a great way' is a compliment… And how about you go to work and test out OUR car." Nicole laughs, "Our car… I like that better. I'll text you after I get done, but still text me when you get to Minneapolis."  
"I do too. I will. See you soon."  
"Kay… Thank you, Harry. Really."  
"You're welcome. G'bye Nicole."  
"Bye Harry."

"So, how'd she take to the car?" Andy asks, a smirk on his face as he looks back at Harry through the rear view.  
"She's a bit pissed," Harry smirks, "But I think in a good way… I don't think she'd had many people leave her cars before."  
"No, probably not. But it's nice what you did… Even if PR will be pissed as hell, she's good girl, I think she's a good influence on you boys."  
"Yeah, I think so too."  
"I just hope the fans don't attack her like they did with Caroline, I'd hate to see her targeted like that."  
"I think people like her more than they did Caroline, not that she wasn't great, but Nicole is actually my age, literally only days younger than me and she's already got the support from a lot of people after what happened before the show. And she's got a lot of confidence, as far as I can see, she's really strong."  
"I sure hope so."

The ride is quiet from then on, only the songs on the radio filling the vehicle and the whooshing of other cars passing them by.  
They get to the airport and there's a slew of fans and only a couple of paps there, those that caught on to Harry not leaving with the boys yesterday.  
The fans are loud and shouting, asking why he left late, where he was, who was he with, was it Nicole? ectect.  
Harry signs a few things and takes pictures with some girls and then Andy is leading him to their plane and soon enough he's boarding and sitting in his seat, sending a quick text to Nicole to tell her he's arrived and is boarding, and nothing comes in response as she's at work. 

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When Harry gets home Louis is calling him, and then the rest of the boys are with him, telling him they're all coming over pronto. Harry doesn't even think of saying otherwise, because if they don't question him now then they will another time and he'd like to get it over with.

He barely has time to put his things away before the boys are pushing their way through his front door, loud and obnoxious.  
Everyone piled into Harry's living room, setting themselves on his sofa, all looking expectant like he's just come back from war.

"Will you stop looking at me, please?" Harry sighs and leans back into the sofa.  
"You've got to tell us what happened! Do you know how many rumors are going around right now?" Liam looks at him with a worrisome face, his big eyes all puppy-dogged at him.  
"Nothing happened, she invited me stay, we slept, we woke up and she made me breakfast and we left."  
"So you punched the seat in the car because nothing happened?" Zayn gives Harry a stern look, one he knows as 'Don't fucking lie to me.'

"Goddammit, of course Andy would tell you. Jesus, seriously, nothing happened. I'm not lying." They all kind of narrow their eyes at Harry, trying to break something out of him, even though there is nothing to break.  
"Damn! You're telling the truth. So you didn't kiss her or anything?"  
"No, she kissed my cheek, but no actual kissing went on." Niall does a face palm while Zayn and Louis are shaking there heads and Liam is looking proud like 'good on you, mate.'

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	6. Chapter 6

Within a week it becomes impossible for Nicole to go anywhere without it being talked about within two hours. A number of paparazzi have taken up temporary living spaces in the small town just to catch her on film.  
She can no longer go to work without there being some amount of young girls from the high school across the road peeking out the cafeteria windows or strange people she's never seen occupying the sidewalk or seats in the shop.  
Going online has become more of a nightmare than anything else, there's always something new about her and Harry, talking about them as a couple, which they're not. She's getting calls from teen magazines asking about the boys and herself and Harry's relationship, to which she just hangs up, every single time and wonders how they got her number. She's bothered by the boys' management to sign a contract, to get her security and saying they'll pay her for signing it, just like Eleanor is with the contract she signed when she started getting followed by crazy fans, but Nicole doesn't want to sign it, doesn't want her life to change like that.

Harry and Nicole talk almost everyday, he tells her about his days, either in the early mornings or late nights, whenever both of them can get a good amount of time in for an actual conversation. Nicole talks to the rest of the boys as well, usually Niall texts her when he's bored and they make fun of each other a lot, and he tells her how mopey Harry is some days when they get too busy for him to call her. Zayn likes to ask her if she can recommend any good books and they talk about random stuff whenever they get the chance and he tells her that Perrie wants to meet her because he thinks they'd get along really well. Liam and Louis don't text as often, mainly just to check up on her, which Nicole thinks is very nice and they ask if they'll see her any time soon, and she can never give them a definite answer and always replies with, "I sure hope so." And She texts Ed quite a lot as well, he makes her tell him if she's stressed with all the media surrounding her and tells her they should get tattooed together sometime soon.

It's actually been nearer to two months since Nicole has seen the boys. She hates it, not seeing them for so long and they all feel the same way. They see all the things being said about her and hope she doesn't see it, but she does. It's everywhere, magazines, television, online, and she can't even say that it's not getting to her at least a little bit. As much as she wishes she could ignore it all, she can't. She's been picked apart before, but never this way. Now people are finding every single flaw she has, or they think she has. They highlight them with yellow circles in magazines and write about them for the world to see. They say she has 'problem areas' and her tattoos aren't classy enough. She thinks it's ridiculous that they say those things because she's not stick thin, she's got curves, it's the way her body is… but apparently being a healthy weight is cause to say that the "You still have squeeze into your jeans" part of One Direction's new single must've really meant something to her, and that Harry must like curvy or 'thick' women. The whole weight thing bothers Nicole because she's never considered herself 'thick' no one has ever referred to her as that, she's a size seven and 5 foot three, she's not 'thick.' She thinks, why can't her body be her business? Why does everyone else get an opinion on it.

It's upsetting for Nicole to not have her own business be her own anymore, she'd always been a very private person, someone who calls no one else aside from her mother and sister on a semi-regular basis, she hadn't had close friends in a long time, she'd struggled with social anxiety in high school and lost a lot of friends because of it. Until she met the boys, it had been close to a year since she'd had more than one person to talk to or text when she wanted. 

Nicole's parents and sister are aware of her new friendship with the boys, as well as with Ed. However, her parents thought it was just six normal guys she'd met, not realizing the level of fame they're on. Her sister didn't believe her until she saw the pictures on tumblr, and her mom didn't get the full picture until she was at the grocery store and saw a photo of Harry and her daughter on the cover of a gossip magazine, ending up in her calling and freaking out, asking a billion questions.

Thankfully things are about to get remarkably less shitty for Nicole. Ed had arranged for her to meet him in Minneapolis for a show of his, and they were texting the entire morning, excited to see each other again.

Nicole throws her bags into her car, yes, the one Harry and her are apparently 'sharing' as Nicole says.  
The drive is long and boring and she only manages not falling asleep by singing dramatically to the radio and waving at people she doesn't know when they pass her on the highway.

Harry texts her twice while she's driving, but she doesn't reply, leaving to check them until she's safely at the venue and fully parked, unable to crash the car.

To: Nicole  
From: Harry  
 _Hey Nic, what's up?_

and then once sent about an hour later…

To: Nicole  
From: Harry  
 _Is everything okay?_

To: Harry  
From: Nicole  
 **Hey, sorry I was driving up to Minneapolis. Ed's gig is tonight.  
You alright?**

Nicole's phone buzzes almost immediately after she sends her text to Harry, which makes her smile and laugh a little.

To: Nicole  
From: Harry  
 _I'm fine, I was worried something was up with you.  
Excited to see Ed tonight then?_

To: Harry  
From: Nicole  
 **Oh, I'm good. No worries here.  
I'm stoked! What're you up to?**

To: Nicole  
From: Harry  
 _Good!_  
Just got some down time.  
Can I give you a call?

Nicole gets out of the car, grabs her bag with her wallet and important things in it and calls Harry as she walks into the venue.

"Hello?" Harry's voice is happy and Nicole can hear his smile.  
"Hey, what's going on?"  
"Just wanted to talk, that alright?" Nicole can hear Harry's smirk in his voice and it makes her smile.  
"Yeah, that's fine. Where are you?"  
"Uh.. umm, we're in London." Nicole makes a face, hating the distance.  
"You sound unsure, are you lost Harold? Have you gotten dementia and can't remember where you are?"  
"Haha, so very funny. No, I'm not lost." Harry's voice is suddenly sharp and defensive.  
"Okay, okay. You're getting defensive, you're only defensive when something's bothering you, what's up?"  
"Nothing, I'm fine." There's tension in his voice and Nicole knows he's being stubborn  
"Harry, just tell me. You're shit at lying."  
He sighs into the phone, "I'm just bummed because I've been trying to get management on my side so I can come see you, like I promised for your birthday, but seeing as how that's tomorrow I don't think it's going to happen. I'm really sorry."  
"Harry, don't be bummed because of that. It's not a big deal. Thank you though, for trying. But seriously, it's fine."  
Harry sighs again, like the conversation is really exerting him or taking a toll on him mentally.  
"No, I promised, and I hate that I can't make it."  
"Stop, it's fine. …Harry, I'm sorry, I have to go. I just got here and I need to find Ed. I'll call you later okay? Don't be mopey!"  
"S'fine. Bye Coco." Nicole laugh at the nickname, him being the only one that EVER calls her that, and it's still new and kind of embarrassing.  
"Bye Har."

Nicole walks further into the venue and finds some security along with crew members floating around, getting things together for Ed's show.

Nicole finds the dressing room she was instructed to go to by Ed, and it has his name on it with a big body guard standing in front of it.  
"Ed in there?" She asks quietly.  
"Yeah. You're Nicole?"  
"I am. Can I go in?" The big guy nods and opens the door for her.

She steps into the room and there's a number of people there, including two people she LOVES Devlin and Example, which is blowing her mind and testing her inner fangirl.  
Ed gets up from the sofa and hugs her, "How was your drive here?"  
"Good. I didn't get stranded this time."  
"Good good, probably a bit smoother with the new car though, yeah?" Nicole flushes when everyone looks at her, suddenly she's someone important to them.  
"Yeah. I no longer drive and worry about having the vehicle spontaneously combust.. s'quite nice." Ed laughs along with the rest of the room and Nicole manages to join in, feeling awkward with everyone watching her.

"Have you talked to Haz lately? I tried to call him before you got here, but the line was busy."  
"Yeah. I was just talking to him on my way in. You can probably get ahold of him now… but he's being mopey, so fair-warning.  
Ed laughs, "I'll try him. Maybe get him to stop his wallowing." Nicole smiles at him as he gets up to call Harry without everyone listening in.

Dev ends up sparking a conversation up between Nicole and Example, which she finds very weird and amazing at the same time. They don't ask about Harry, and Nicole is thankful. Not that she doesn't like talking about him, but people have started to automatically clump them together, every question is somehow related to the both of them, and her relationship with him, why she doesn't talk to press about it, why they're so low key about it all, and to not be asked and clumped is nice, it's nice to be Nicole and not, 'the girl who knows Harry Styles.'

The three get into a conversation about America vs. England and Devlin is saying something about food sizes and using hand gestures and Example is nodding along and smiling.  
"…America is bad for my physique." Example gestures to his body and Nicole and Devlin laugh loudly at him.  
"I apologize on America's behalf." Nicole says, a sincere smile and the two guys laugh.  
"…Uhm, I think you've got a visitor, Nicole." Dev points behind Nicole and she turns around.

Harry is standing in the doorway with a smug look on his face, and Nicole doesn't even have the power to find something to say before she runs to him and hugs him.  
"Hello to you too." Harry smiles and Nicole can hear it in his voice as he lifts her up and wraps her legs around his waist, supporting her fully.  
"I can't believe you!" She snakes her arms around his neck and hugs him closer.  
"Not such a shit lier anymore, huh?" Nicole shakes her head without lifting it from the crook of Harry's neck.  
She wiggles and gets her feet back on the ground, "Why didn't you tell me you were here?"  
"I wanted to surprise you, and I wasn't sure if I would make it until I was being pushed onto a plane." Nicole couldn't even get words out, so she just hugged him again and willed her emotions to slow down and let her breathe.

When she pulls away again Harry is looking down at her, "Why are you crying?"  
Nicole smiles and wipes at her eyes, "I'm just happy." Harry smiles at her and takes her hand, leading her to the sofa and has her sit next to him.  
Harry takes a deep breath and falls back into the sofa, taking a moment to inhale the rain and lavender he'd been missing for what he feels has been a year, and he takes a better look at her.  
Nicole is holding one of Harry's hands in both of hers, and Harry thinks she looks smaller, thinner, her cheek bones looked more prominent, and picking her up before she felt noticeably lighter. Harry tries not to worry, and looks her over again to settle his mind, she looks okay, and decides he'll talk to her later.  
Her lips are painted a bold red and her eyes are lined lightly with eyeliner, and she's wearing a semi-sheer button up with little crosses on it with a black blazer over it, black jeans and black ankle boots with a small heel. Her hair is down and curly, and Harry thinks it looks really soft and would like to play with it again.

She catches Harry looking and smiles at him shyly, "How long are you here?' She glances up at him through her thick lashes.  
"Just tonight… but I've got a present for you, after the show."  
She looks sad at the news, but smiles anyway, "You didn't need to get me anything."  
"It's kind of a group present, from me and the rest of the boys." Nicole smiles a bit more.  
"How are they?"  
Harry smiles and plays with her fingers absentmindedly, "Good. Niall and Zayn say they talk to you a lot. Liam and Louis have been trying to get time with Eleanor and Danielle, Zayn is with Perrie right now, and i think he's studying for his drivers test."  
"Yeah, Niall is my laugh buddy. And I think Zayn and I have a two person book club going on." Harry laughs quietly beside her and she smiles at him.

"Want to take a walk?" Nicole nods and they get up and grab their jackets to go outside. It's cold, but not freezing, decent enough to walk around for a bit.  
Their hands connect soon after they start their walk and Nicole keeps close to Harry, his warmth radiates onto her.  
"I'm glad you're here." She says, looking up at Harry and holds his hand a little tighter.  
"Me too. …Is it okay if I ask you something kind of personal?" Harry chances a look over to her and she looks a bit nervous.  
"Yeah… go ahead."  
"Umm, can we go sit down somewhere?" She nods and they walk into a small cafe, managing to make it there unrecognized. 

The two sit, and after a moment of silence Nicole speaks up, "So… you can ask now."  
"Right, well… I'm just kind of worried."  
Nicole looks concerned, "Worried? About what?"  
"You." Harry says, dropping his eyes to the table.  
"Me… why me?" She looks at Harry confusedly, staring at him intensely.  
"It's just… are you okay? I mean, I see people saying all this stuff about you and you're being followed more than I am… the boys always ask if you're okay because they see the things printed about you, and I'm worried that it's too much for you."  
"I'm…" Nicole looks down at the table sadly, "I'm okay. I can't say the stuff that I've seen written about me doesn't bother me, I mean, I get that they want me to be someone who is going to show up to everything with a face of makeup, amazing hair and six inch heels, but I'm not and never will be that person. I'm not famous, I'm just being associated with people who are… I'm just me. I've been picked apart before, but now I'm a size seven that's apparently too fat and too ugly to hang out with someone like you." She looks up at Harry with guarded eyes, but the sadness is undeniable.

"You're not fat. You're absolutely perfect. You don't need to wear lots of makeup, you're beautiful without it. And I know that you're not the girl to be in the spotlight like this, I know, and I'm so sorry that people are picking you apart like this, you don't deserve that. But please, don't think you can't be with me because of the rude things they say. I don't want you to change, I liked you when I first met you, the prematurely honest, sarcastic, weirdly endearing girl who made me and my mates laugh."

"Thanks. I'm just trying to get used to it…I've never been followed to work by complete strangers before… or anyone for that matter." Nicole laughs and Harry's heart feels less heavy, feeling more secure about her wellbeing.  
"You'll tell me if it gets too much though, right?" She nods with a small smile.  
"Have you gotten a hotel already?" Harry asks quickly.  
"Not yet. I wasn't sure if I would stay or just go home tonight… I packed enough, but I wasn't sure if I'd want to go home tonight."  
"Have you decided yet?"  
"No." She pushes some hair from her face and taps her fingers on the table a bit nervously, which makes Harry smile.

"We should head back." She looks at Harry as she says this, looking for an agreement.  
"Yeah, let's go." She gets up and waits for Harry to get his coat straightened out.  
They exit together and their hands laces together again, "So tell me how school is going?"  
"Sure… it's good. I've got three English centered courses and then a sociology class. I write a lot of papers, but I finish them pretty quick and still have time to do my own writing."  
"You write? What do you write about?"  
"Yeah, umm I dunno. Lot's of different things. I used to write when I was mad at my parents for getting divorced, I was pretty angsty back then. But now I write about things if I've thought about them for a long time and can't get the idea out of my head."  
"Like what kind of things?"  
"Curious are we?" She smiles up at Harry and bumps into him on purpose.  
"Yeah, I want to know. Are you writing anything right now?"  
"Yes. I'm writing all about this guy I met. He's like totes cute and has the best curly brown hair. And ohmygod, he's got the prettiest green eyes. He's amazeballs." Nicole smirks and her eyes are shining with mirth.  
"He sounds hot. You should date him then." Nicole looks up at him with narrowed eyes, "Nah, he's really egotistical, so I'd rather not." Harry gives her a look and she smirks again.  
"I bet he's just trying to look cool, he probably wants you to like him. Maybe you should give him a chance." Nicole looks at Harry with a calculating expression.  
"Hmmm, maybe. But I'll wait for him to make a move… I've been doing all the work." Her smile grows and her perfect white teeth show, which Harry's realized it a bit of a rarity.  
"I'm sure he was just being gentlemanly and wanted to make sure that kind of move was allowed and the feelings were reciprocated."  
"They are. He'd be silly to not realize that." Harry smiles down at her and squeezes her hand a little and brings her closer to his side.

 

The two get back to the venue and wander about for awhile, waiting for the show to begin. They end up in Ed's dressing room playing a matching game with a deck of cards they stumbled upon.  
"I feel like a pretzel." Harry says, referring to the way he's got his legs folded criss-cross applesauce and hunched over the cards that are laid out in front of he and Nicole.  
"Well maybe if you weren't so long." Nicole gives him a stern look, like Harry's height is his fault.  
Harry smirks at her, "you haven't even seen the longest part of me yet." Nicole's eyes go wide and she barks out a laugh, covering her face and falling back against the floor.  
"HARRY! No! Ahhh why!?" Her laughter dies down into quiet chuckles, "you're terrible." She smiles and flips two cards that don't match.  
"I was kidding… but really." Harry looks at her seriously, her cheeks flushing, "Please, stop… oh my god." She laughs, "Just take your turn." She gestures toward the cards with a smile she's trying to hide and Harry smirks at her and flips his cards.

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Nicole and Harry finish up a couple card games and decide to go wait for the show to start backstage.  
"Have you seen Ed live before?"  
"No, before your show I'd never been to an arena or anything this big… just music festivals and little crowded venues." Harry smiles down at her and she gives him one of those 'you're looking at me weird but I'm not going to say anything about it' looks.  
The pair of them stand side stage for the entire show. Harry watches Nicole as she looks out at Ed, she looks so entranced by the music, standing by his side with her hands clasped together and tucked under her chin like she's just unable to believe that she's there and Harry thinks it's adorable and amazing to see her this way.  
She claps lightly after every song, along with the audience, but she's much more subdued and quiet and Harry imagines that this is probably what she's like all the time, understated and kept to herself.

She turns to Harry in the middle of Wake Me Up and smiles, her eyes bright and he thinks she looks like she could cry, but she turns away before he can be sure.  
During a break in songs Ed is talking to the audience and Harry takes the moment to step closer to Nicole, standing behind her and resting his chin on her shoulder. She turns her head and kisses his cheek, making him grin like a fool.  
"Will you take a picture with me?' Harry asks her, turning his head still rested on her shoulder, and he inhales the lovely smell of her shampoo.  
She glances at Harry out of the corner of her eye and says, "Fine." with a little shrug.  
Harry pulls out his phone and holds it out in front of them, his chin still resting on her shoulder and they both smile as he presses the shutter.  
Harry looks at it and smiles again, they look couple-y and cute and Nicole's lips are still the gorgeous red and she looks like she should be famous for something.  
"Lemme see it." She says, making grabby hands at Harry's phone.  
"We're so cute." Her voice is teasing but sincere and she hands the phone back to Harry.  
He decides to Instagram it with the caption, "You cheated at go-fish" and then her twitter name.

 

The show ends and Nicole and Harry go back to Ed's dressing room and sit on the sofa together. Nicole is smiling, looking genuinely happy about where she's at, and Harry places his hand on her thigh to get her attention.  
She turns to him with a soft smile, "Hmm?"  
"I wanted to give you your birthday present." Her smile grows and she sets her hand on top of Harry's.  
"Actually, I have your present in the car still. I couldn't carry it out after I got it."  
"What? You didn't have to get me anything." Harry says, curling his fingers around her small hand.  
"I wanted to. Just stay here, I'm going to get Dev or someone to help me. But you can't see it yet." She gets up with a big smile and walks out of the room.

Harry can hear her asking someone out in the hallway for some help and then her voice disappears.  
It takes a little over a ten minutes for her to return and she walks through the door with a massive smile, her dimples poking her cheeks at full force.  
"Okay, so I did my research and found the best one I could around where I live, so I hope it's alright. Close your eyes." She gives him a serious look when he doesn't close them and puts her own hands one his eyes instead and he laughs.

"Okay Dev, bring it in."  
Harry can hear something being set down on the table and it sounds heavy and then Nicole is taking her hands away and Harry is looking down at his gift.  
A phonograph style record player, the big trumpet horn and everything and it's beautiful and vintage and exactly what he wanted.  
Harry stares at it and can't believe she got it for him, knowing it wasn't cheap and the fact that she remembered him even mentioning a record player makes his heart flutter.

"Do you like it?" She asks, looking at Harry with sparkling eyes and a hopeful smile.  
"Yes. Yes I love it, thank you. I can't believe you remembered."  
"Of course I remembered. I have some records at my house, I didn't want them to get ruined in the car." Harry grabs her by the waist and pulls her into a hug and she giggles as she wraps her arms around his neck.  
"Thank you. Thank you so much." He tells her, trying not to get emotional, but edging on failing. It's not very often that people are getting him gifts like this, ones that actually mean a lot, that show they listen and care and take interest in the things he says, and put in effort to actually do something like Nicole has, it really means a lot to Harry.  
"You're welcome, Harry. I'm glad you like it."  
Harry pulls away, remembering they're not the only people in the room, but Nicole is smiling at him, looking so so happy again and Harry just feels warm all over.

"Okay then, so now it's my turn to give you your present." Nicole shakes her head, as if to say 'no, no I don't need anything."  
"Sit tight." She sighs and Harry laughs before he runs to the opposite side of the room, behind the sofa to find the bag that held the box he'd wrapped before he'd gotten on any plane.

Harry sits next to her on the sofa again and actually realizes how many people are in the room, about twelve including him, and he wonders what they're thinking about his exchange with Nicole right now, but they're smiling and looking pleased with the situation, so he figures they're not too bothered by it.

"Alright, not as big as a record player, but here." Harry hands her the small rectangular box and she looks at him like 'I can't believe you got me something,' but Harry just smiles and motions for her to open it.  
Nicole listens, opening it carefully, not ripping the paper too much, very _Nicole_ of her.  
She lifts the top off of the box and takes the contents out.

"Harold Edward Styles, you're going to kill me." She sets the contents back inside the box and looks at Harry, shaking her head and then drops it into her hands.  
"Are you saying you don't like it?"  
Nicole looks up at him, her eyes wet and cheeks damp, "I'm saying I can't believe you're asking me to go to London with you tonight."  
"Well, it's not actually London, it is… but er, it's because I wanted to bring you to Holmes Chapel as well."  
There are a few gasps and one or two audible "Oh my God's" around the room and she's just looking at Harry like she's trying to cope with shock.  
"Your mom lives in Holmes Chapel, Harry." She states, and Harry smiles.  
"Yeah… that's kind of the point." Nicole shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling for a second, disbelieving.  
"You want me to meet your mom? Me?" She points to herself as if the concept is unbelievable.  
"Yes. You. I wanted my mum to meet my girlfriend… if that's okay with you." Nicole gives Harry a slightly shocked look and bites her smile back, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.  
"SAY YES!" Someone yells and Nicole laughs along with Harry.  
"About time you make the moves, Styles." She smirks and Harry smiles so big it nearly cracks his face in half. He quickly stands up and scoops Nicole up off the couch into a hug, lifting her off the ground and swinging her around, she's laughing and Harry is absolutely undeniably happy.  
Harry sets her back on solid ground and takes one of her hands in his, "So you'll go then?" She smiles softly and moves her hand up his chest, making him bend at the gesture, her hand resting on his neck and brushes his ear, and just like every other time, he shivers and Nicole smiles.  
And then she kisses him, for the first time her lips meet Harry's and Harry is blissful and pleased. Her soft, red lips slot between his in a light and easy kiss, no tongue or pressure, just the way a first kiss should be.

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Nicole and Harry decide to get a hotel for the night and take the flight to London in the morning since their tickets are insured and arranging things isn't too hard.  
Harry knows Nicole is tired and he is too, but he drives _their_ car to the hotel that Paul had gotten them and asks Paul to make sure the record player gets to London safely.

They get to the hotel and carry their bags up to their room, Nicole flops onto the bed immediately after taking her jacket off and mumbles, "So tired," into the sheets.  
Harry laughs and watches her turn over, telling her he's going to talk to Paul and find out when they need to be up.

 

Harry gets to Paul's room and gets all the necessary information for tomorrow and Paul looks at him weird, "What?" He asks, giving him a questioning look.  
"Does your mum know you're bringing a girl home?"  
"Kind of. I talked to her about it before I got here, but she doesn't know that she's technically my girlfriend now, or that she said yes."  
"Does management know that this was the plan for coming here?"  
"No. But they're stupid if they hadn't caught on." Paul has an agreeing look and nods. "I'm going to go, I'll see you in the morning, Paul. Thanks for everything tonight."  
"No problem, have a good night." Harry walks out of Paul's room and makes the short distance to his and Nicole's room.

Nicole is once again lying on the bed, but now she's got wet hair and no make up on, wearing her little pajama shorts and the same kind of top from the night at her house, but this time it's white.  
She's scrolling through her phone and looks up when she hears Harry get closer to her.  
"Hi." She smiles and sets her phone down, "Come lay." She pats the bed and Harry thinks she looks so soft and innocent and just lovely.  
Harry crawls onto the bed and up to her and she lets him lay his head on her chest again, her arms wrapping around him and her fingers toy with his curls.  
Harry listens to her steady heart beat, realizing it's much more controlled than his own and he wonders how she's so calm all the time.  
Her lips press to Harry's hair and he lets out a sigh and relaxes into her. Her fingers in his hair making him feel even sleepier, like he could close his eyes and ju-  
Her fingers brush his ear again, the involuntary shiver runs through his body and he can hear Nicole's soft laugh.  
He looks up at her and she's smiling at him, " I hate my ears." He tells her.  
"Aww why? They're cute." She traces her thumb around the curve of Harry's ear and his breath catches when she touches his earlobe. He can almost hear her amusement and nuzzles into her chest, pressing his lips to her collarbone and up her neck. She doesn't even react, aside from when Harry flicks his tongue out against her pale skin, then the fingers in his hair grip tighter and pull, making Harry let out an embarrassing groan.  
"Someone likes their hair pulled." She smirks and Harry's cheeks flush.  
"Aww look at you, all embarrassed." She teases and he tries to turn away, but the hand in his hair tugs again and he keeps the noise in his throat from coming out, but his mouth falls open.  
Nicole chuckles and lets his hair go, moving her hand to the side of his face, "Do I have to make the move, Styles?" She smirks and Harry makes sure to lean in before she does, her soft, full lips slot with his again, and he tries at licking his way into her mouth, but her teeth catch his tongue lightly and she lets go as she pulls back.  
"Nuh uh, not so fast." Harry can hear something different in her voice, and knows he's probably looking at her a certain way because she's not smiling anymore.  
"Sorry… just umm, slow yeah?" She looks sad, vulnerable and different than Harry's every seen her, almost sadder than the times she's cried.  
"Can I ask why?" Nicole looks up at Harry, face so telling that there is definitely a reason, there is something keeping her from letting her guard down with Harry.  
"Umm… is it alright if I say I'll tell you, just not… umm not now? I know that saying that is probably just going to make it something more to wonder about, but it's not worth that. You can ask again, another time. But it's late and I know you're tired. So… please?" Harry watches her while she talks, looking so worried about what he'll say, how he'll react and he can see just how much she needs for him to be understanding about this.  
"Okay. Another time. Are you okay though?"  
"I'm okay. You gonna change out of your jeans?" Her demeanor changes quickly, she's suddenly perfectly fine and unbothered.  
"Would it be alright if I just shucked 'em?"  
"Yeah, that's alright." Harry gets up and takes his jeans off and slips his shirt off as well, resuming his place on the bed, Nicole's fingers playing with his hair again.  
Harry feels himself drift into sleep easily, gentle fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp and dancing across his skin, so soft, so careful.  
He feels the faint press of her lips against his forehead and a distant "Goodnight" as he finally falls asleep. 

Harry wakes up to his alarm, his body curled closer to Nicole, one hand gripping her hip and the other under his head. Nicole is facing him, still asleep, her hand resting on his chest and her hair splayed out around her, still damp from her shower last night.

Harry shakes her awake lightly, "Nic, hey, gotta wake up." Her eyes flutter open, the deep green much more visible without her glasses on, she looks at Harry and smiles, blinking sleepily.  
"I can't see." She pouts and looks to the table beside the bed for her glasses.  
Harry grabs them for her and slips them on her face and she smiles sleepily once she can see, "Thanks, babe. Your hair is a mess." She ruffles it playfully and Harry's stomach flutters at being called 'babe' by her.  
"I'm going to shower really quick. We've got to head to the airport soon." She nods and Harry gets off the bed, collecting some clothes before heading to the shower.

Out from his shower, Harry dries, dresses and fixes his hair up a bit and then exits the bathroom.  
Nicole is already fully dressed and her hair is somehow voluminous, holding it's natural wavy curls and set in place perfectly, and her makeup is barely noticeable and Harry smiles because he likes her better this way… not that she didn't look gorgeous with bright red lips last night though.  
She smiles when she sees Harry and stands, dressed in dark skinny jeans, tight all along her legs and rolled up at the ankle and Harry knows it's because they're too long, not because it's fashionable. She's got a plain white shirt on with a scoop neck that shows off her collar bones and the tattoo on the left side.

"Do you have enough clothes for the week?" Nicole looks up at Harry, wide eyes and lips slightly parted.  
"A week? Harry, you know I have work right? School is fine, but…"  
"Don't worry about work. I may have called and asked if you could have some time off… and they may have been extremely willing to let you take a week or so off… they like you there."  
Nicole's mouth drops open, "You… I don't even know… I'm trying to find some words here, but God, you make it very hard to be upset. …How'd you know where I worked anyway?"  
"Don't be upset… and it's the only bakery where you live, it wasn't too hard." She lets out a breath and runs her fingers through her hair once, getting up and walking closer to Harry.  
"Fine, is there anything else I should know before we go?"  
"Hmm, well… people know I'm here, so be prepared for fans at the airport, both of them. You'll meet my family, maybe not my real dad, but I'm not sure. My mom will cry when she sees me, girls camp out outside of my house, so there'll be that. And we'll stay at my mums for a night or two, then go back to London and stay at my flat, and we'll see the boys as well. Does that all sound okay to you?"  
"I think I'll get through it alright… but I don't have enough stuff for a week."  
"There's not much in Cheshire, but I'll see if Perrie is on break, or else Danielle or Eleanor could show you around… sound okay?"  
She makes a face, scrunching up her nose and laughs, "Fine… but on one condition." She smirks up at Harry, stepping closer.  
"What would that be?"  
"Gimme a kiss?"  
"Mmm, nope." She fakes hurt, "Wanna fight about it?" Harry asks, smirking down at her. "I do. You can't just keep those beautiful lips to yourself, you have to share them with me. It's in the 'Nicole says so' rule book." Harry chuckles and brushes some hair from her face and she smiles, her white teeth showing and Harry sees the sharpness of her canines and wonders what it'd feel like if she bit him, then realizes what he's thinking and pushes the thought away, avoiding arousal.  
"Well, if it's in the rule book." Harry leans down and kisses her, soft lips and once again fitting against his seamlessly.  
She pulls away first, with a happy smile, "I think I'm ready to go across the ocean now."

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	7. Chapter 7

At the Heathrow Airport, Nicole along with Harry, are met with a massive crowd of people. Nicole thinks back to the Mall of America and that doesn't even compare to the craziness she's beholding now. There are tons of people, so many cameras and flashes and paparazzi, so many of them saying "Over here! Look here!" And fans screaming at them, trying to reach out and grab them.  
Thankfully Harry doesn't let go of Nicole once, his fingers stay in place between hers the entire time and he pulls her close to him as they walk. When the crowd gets lighter Harry takes the time to sign things and looks to Nicole, making sure she's okay, almost as if he needs her approval, which to Nicole is very unnecessary, but she gives him a disbelieving look and shoos him over to the girls calling his name and lets him do his job.

There are girls and surprisingly boys screaming for Nicole as well, which to her is utterly ridiculous and so very weird. She goes to stand by them, kicking up a conversation with a group of four that had been trying to get her attention earlier.  
"Hi! Oh my God, you're talking to us!" A petite girl is wiping tears from her eyes and Nicole can't help but laugh a little.  
"Yeah, is that okay?"  
A boy about sixteen speaks up, "Of course it is! You're amazing!"  
"Thank you. How are you guys?"  
The conversation goes on for a bit, long enough for the small girl to stop crying and they ask what Harry is like and Nicole just smiles and says, "He's really lovely." Which for some reason has them aww-ing at her. They ask her to sign various items and she does, hesitantly and with enough care so it doesn't look like a massive scribble.  
Harry comes over to get her, taking her hand and greeting the small group she had been talking to and they smile and get teary eyed all over again, "Bye guys." Nicole waves at them as she's being taken away and Harry pulls her close with an arm around her waist, "Made some new friends?" He laughs, teasing her.  
"Not so much… most of my friends don't cry upon my greeting them… sooo." Harry laughs again and they're being ushered toward yet another black oversized vehicle, although this time it's Harry's Range Rover and he's driving.

The two drive for about two hours, Nicole tiredly resting her head against the window, watching everything pass her by and little puffs of conversation between Harry and her until they get about half an hour away from Harry's mothers house, then Nicole starts getting nervous and makes Harry fill her in on random things she might want to know.

Harry tells her about Cheshire some more, little things about his mother and sister and points things out as they drive past them.

Pulling up to Harry's house is weird for Nicole, and she's thankful there are no girls loitering about outside. It's a quiet little place, a cozy looking home and Nicole thinks it's the kind of house that you drive past and think a nice family lives there and that they are all happy.

Nicole was actually freaking out a lot about meeting Harry's family… mostly his mother. She'd never done the whole 'meeting the parents' thing and was terrified of making a fool of herself or having Anne not like her because Harry was so close with her and Nicole felt like if she didn't like her then she'd be a goner.

Nicole was nearly immobile as they pulled into the drive way, but then Harry was there, opening her door, taking her hand and helping her out of his car.  
They grab their bags from the boot and Harry leads the way to the house, smiling like a goof all the way, which made Nicole smile in return. Harry holds the door open for Nicole and shows her where to go inside the house, being in the home where Harry was raised was surreal for her, it was very cozy and family oriented inside and she wasn't sure how she felt about being there yet.

Harry brings Nicole into the kitchen where his mother is, standing there just waiting for her son and it made Nicole smile and nearly cry. It took barely five seconds for Anne to be wrapping her son in a massive hug and crying happy tears.  
Nicole could hear her whispering to him and his laugh in turn was watery, cluing Nicole into the fact that he was crying too.  
When they pull away from one another Anne wipes her eyes and Harry pretends like he hadn't shed a tear, but he wasn't fooling anybody and he knew it too.

"Mum, this is Nicole." Anne smiles and pulls her into a hug, taking Nicole slightly off guard.  
"Nicole, it's so nice to finally meet you."  
"Nice to meet you too. Thank you for having me."

After a little more introduction the three of them sit down together at the kitchen table for some tea and a bit of conversation, Harry's step father arriving about five minutes in, and Harry introduces him to Nicole and hugs him as well. Nicole lets Harry talk with his mother and step father, catching up on what would be happening while he was back home and any obligations he had while he was back in England. She was happy to sit by and listen to it all, even if she already knew what Harry would be doing and had heard what he was saying several times… watching him talk was one of her bigger weaknesses, he's just so pretty.

"You've been quiet, dear." Anne suddenly says, her attention on Nicole.  
"Sorry, I just don't want to disrupt, I haven't got much to add either." She shrugs, trying to fight the self consciousness that came along with being addressed for something nearly everyone she'd ever met commented on.

Anne just smiles at her nicely, "Tell us about you, anything at all." To Nicole it was a loaded question without meaning to be, and it freaked her out having to decide what to disclose and what not to… not that she'd done anything worth being thought of as bad, but this is Harry's mother and she knew her impression was important.

"Well, I live in Minnesota, in a really small town, smaller than Holmes Chapel… by a lot. I grew up about ten miles from where I live now and it was even smaller there, less than one hundred people in the town. My parents divorced when I was fourteen and I'm really close with my mom, not so much my dad… he's worked on the road since I was a baby and now has a fiancé whose family lives in another state, so he spends time there as well."

"What does he do… your dad?"

"He owns his own construction business, he fixes and builds grain elevators. He used to be a race car driver and a fireman, but since his business picked up he had to stop that stuff. He's still a volunteer fireman though." 

"He sounds really nice, and quite exciting to have a race car driver dad, yeah?" Anne laughs lightly and smiles.  
"Yeah. My sister and I used to go to all his races and he'd come sit by us in the grand stands once his races finished, and we thought it was so cool because he'd still have his fire suit on, and no one else we knew had dads that raced." Harry chuckles beside her and she leans into him a bit more, a little uncomfortable from sitting so much today.

"What's your sister like?"

"She's twenty-one and absolutely nothing like me. Literally, my complete opposite. If we stood next to each other you wouldn't even know we were related, much less friends. She's got red hair and freckles all over, and she's really outgoing, always busy with friends, doing something, going somewhere with someone… but she's my best friend, and we hang out a lot. If we don't talk to each other for one day we assume the other has died or something." Anne, Robin and Harry all laugh, helping Nicole relax a little bit more.

"Have you ever been outside the U.S.?" Anne asks, getting a chuckle from Harry in turn.  
"Sorry, it's just… you should've seen her at the airport and on the plane, she was so funny. She literally looked out the window of the plane the entire time, even though it was pitch black and kept saying, "wow" and "so pretty" over and over again to herself… it was so hard not to laugh." Harry laughed to himself and Nicole caught Robin and Anne suppressing smiles as well.  
"I'm glad I amuse you, Harry. But to answer your question, no. I've never been outside the United States. I've never been on a commercial airline and only have a passport because I've only ever dreamed of traveling… i've barely left Minnesota, so this is all very very new." Anne smiles and Harry wraps his arm tighter around Nicole, and she rests her head on his shoulder, tired and feeling her headache worsening.

"You alright, Love?" Harry asks, turning to look down at her.  
"Yeah, just a headache, I'm fine though." Before Harry could make a fuss, like always, the front door opens and closes as Harry's older sister Gemma walks into the house.  
Harry gives Nicole a 'just a minute' look and gets up to greet his sister with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, exchanging 'i missed you's' and things of that nature.

Before Nicole can even get out of her seat to greet Gemma as well, Harry is next to her, saying, "Just sit, you have a headache." Like it it's a terminal illness, but Nicole knows not to argue, he always wins… the stubborn bastard.

"Gemma, this is Nicole… she's feeling a bit ill."  
"Hi, Gemma. I'm fine," Nicole says, glancing over to Harry, who gives her a look that says 'liar' "It's nice to finally meet you." Nicole says, turning back to Gemma, who laughs and says, "Sassing my brother, I like you already."  
Harry retorts with a whiny "Hey!" and a pouty lip.  
"He acts like a headache is a catastrophically fatal illness, I'm quite alright." Anne and Gemma chuckle at Nicole's words.  
"I worry okay? Just trying to be a good boyfriend over here, but nooo." Harry poke his nose up in the air trying to be snooty, and ends up missing the way his family looks at him after saying 'boyfriend.'  
"I know, and you are. Thank you." Nicole says, tucking in closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around her again and he smiles at her in return.

After a bit more chit chat about nameless things Harry turns to Nicole with a soft smile, "You tired, babe?"  
"Mm, a bit. M'okay though." Harry laughs because she's about to fall asleep against him any minute, she just doesn't want to.


	8. Chapter 8

Gemma ends up showing Nicole upstairs, setting her up in Harry's old bedroom, looking exactly the way he'd left it at sixteen, maybe a bit cleaner now.

"Anne is okay with Harry and I staying together?" Nicole asks unsure.  
Gemma laughs, "Yeah. I don't think mum is under the impression that you and Harry haven't slept together."  
Nicole's eyes go wide, "Oh.. umm, no. We haven't… I haven't… uh…"  
Gemma sits on the bed as catches on to what Nicole is saying, raising her eyebrows, "Oh. …sorry, it's just surprising. Umm, does Harry know you've never… you know?"  
Nicole laughs now, "Yeah, he knows. …Is this weird? Talking about your brother like this…"  
"Not really. I'm just glad you're not throwing yourself at him like so many girls are willing to do. I think he likes that you don't treat him like he's famous."  
"I don't really see him that way. I know he is famous, but he's just Harry to me. He's got a job just like I do… his just takes him all over the world."  
Gemma smiles at Nicole, happy that she's not a trashy girl out for gossip to sell to tabloids, "You know, he called me when he first met you… he thought you were mad at him and he was so distraught because you weren't treating him like he was big and famous, he didn't think you liked him."  
Nicole chuckles and turns a bit pink, "He's oblivious sometimes… I thought he was the most beautiful person in the world when I first looked at him. He looked at me in the car and I was thinking "Oh my God, he's so pretty, I think I died… I'm in heaven right now." I just thought that there was no way that someone could've found me, much less your brother."  
Gemma laughs, covering her mouth with her hand to muffle the sound, "That's actually really cute. Did you ever tell Harry that?"  
"Oh gosh, no way. He'd make so much fun of me." Nicole smiles as Gemma agrees, Harry wouldn't let her live that down.

Gemma leaves Nicole in Harry's room so she can get ready for bed. Nicole takes the time alone to look around Harry's bedroom. It's very _Harry_ she thinks, looking at all his books and trinkets and posters on his walls. She tries to imagine what Harry was like when he was younger, before One Direction, and from the pictures around the room she sees how quirky he was, seeing his past self made her laugh, his shorter hair and little ears uncovered. Much shorter and still baby-faced, his dimples poking both cheeks and his green eyes the same. She smiles at his baby pictures, little baby Harry was exactly as she'd imagined, absolutely adorable. 

"Having fun?" Harry's deep voice startles her and she jumps as she whips her head toward the door where he's standing.  
"God, you scared me. And yes, a lot of fun. You were a cute baby," Nicole smirks, "what happened to you?" She laughs at Harry when he drops his mouth open, faking hurt.  
"Hey, you're dating me, so clearly I'm not too bad looking."  
Nicole smirks again, "I don't go for looks." That makes Harry laugh and he picks her up and puts her on the bed, holding her hands above her head.  
"You wanna say that again, babe?" Harry's voice is low and rasp, his breath hot and ticklish against Nicole's skin. She's looking at him with widened eyes, surprised by his reaction and their current positioning, "Mmm, nope. I'm good." She says, suddenly feeling very hot and at a loss for control.  
Harry smirks down at her, pleased at her breathlessness, "Good." He says, leaning down to kiss her lips, wishing to take it further, but restrains himself, knowing not to push, despite how much he wants to right now.  
Harry pulls away and looks down at her, his smirk gone, she's small beneath him, looking unsure and a bit nervous as her eyes dance around, looking of Harry's face, trying to understand what's happening.

"You want to ask me again, but you're afraid to…" Nicole says, knowing exactly what's running through Harry's head. Harry nods, sitting up but still straddling her hips.  
"Yeah… is that okay?" Harry's voice is quiet and now he's the nervous one.  
"It's fine. You don't have to be afraid to ask me things, you know I'll tell you whatever you want to know."  
"I know. I just don't want to upset you." Harry looks away for a moment, feeling unsure of himself.  
Nicole shifts under him and sits up a little and takes Harry's face in her hands, making him look at her, "I won't be upset if you ask, I promise." Nicole kisses him lightly on the lips and pulls away soon after.  
"Will you tell me why then?"  
Nicole nods at him, "It's nothing to do with you. It's just, I've had boyfriends before… and unfortunately they weren't the best of people. As you know I've never had sex, and that's something that I take quite seriously. But some guys don't understand why I won't do it, why I've waited… and the only two boyfriends I've ever had were the kinds of guys who didn't understand. They wanted to move right to sex and tried to push me into it and weren't very nice when I'd say no. The reason I'm not sticking my tongue down your throat is because I don't want to get to that point and then have to pull away and have you upset because you want more… and I don't think that you'll push me or anything, I trust you… but I can't stop that nagging in my head that you'll get tired of me because I won't put out soon enough. I just don't want to be that girl that's a tease you know? I mean, I like you, I _really_ like you, and it's not like I haven't thought about it, because you're beautiful, and I tend to have a hard time not staring at you all the time, but I just want to be ready, and I want to make sure we're okay without sex… you know? I just want to know that it's not the only thing that will keep us together, because I know people that do that and I don't want to be one of those people."  
"Did they hit you?" Harry asks, looking down at Nicole with worried green eyes, nearly crying at the thought of her being hurt.  
Nicole looks away, the hurt in Harry's eyes makes her heart ache and she doesn't want to see the look in his eyes when she tells him the truth…"Sometimes."  
Harry lets out something that sounds like a whimper and then he's got Nicole in his arms, holding her close, feeling the need to protect her from everything bad in the world and unable to get her telling him that the problem wasn't worth him worrying about, because it was and he wanted to ruin the guys that had thought hitting her was okay because she wouldn't have sex with them.

"Harry, I'm okay. …Harry, you can let me go." Nicole goes limp in Harry's arms, knowing she won't win, not if Harry's this worked up.  
Harry shakes his head that's lying on her shoulder, "I don't want to."  
Nicole runs her fingers through his hair and feels him hiccup against her, "Babe, are you crying?" Harry lets out a muffled, "No."  
Nicole pulls back from him, "You are too. Harry, I'm okay. I've got you now, and you're not going to do that, are you?"  
"I would never hit you." Harry says seriously.  
"I know, so that means you don't have to worry about it happening again." Harry finally manages a small smile and nods in agreement.  
"Okay. You okay, sweetheart?" Harry flushes at the pet name, stomach fluttering as she says it.  
"Yeah. Are you?" Nicole laughs lightly, "I'm just fine." She wipes Harry's eyes for him dries his cheeks and kisses both of them along with his lips.  
"Let's go to bed now. It's getting late." Harry nods and gets off the bed, takes his jeans and t-shirt off and crawling under the covers of his bed waiting for Nicole to join him again.  
He's surprised when she doesn't go to the bathroom to change, she just slips her jeans off and puts her little pajama shorts on and then turns around and slips off her shirt and unclasps her bra and then slips a black henley on.  
She crawls back onto the bed and Harry snuggles up close to her, still feeling clingy after what she told him and feeling like he just needs to be close to her. And of course, she knows, she knows why he's being this way and she lets him, because he needs to do it for himself, not just for her. He wants to be the one protecting her and taking care of her now, while he can and he wouldn't back down for anything.


	9. Chapter 9

Nicole wakes up before Harry in the morning. Although he's got her trapped with his arm secured around her and face buried in her neck so she doesn't move. She just lets him sleep, playing with his hair until the sun lights the room and he's fluttering his eyes open, blinking blearily and the realization that he's in his old bed with his new girlfriend sets in.  
"Hello." Nicole smiles at Harry when he pulls away far enough to see her face.  
"Morning," Harry's voice is raspy and dry with sleep, "How long have you been up?"  
"Half hour or so. You had me a bit trapped within your death drip so I figured I'd stay and not wake you." She smiles as she says it, so Harry knows she's not bothered.  
"Sorry," He says, apologizing anyway, "I don't try to do it… I don't hurt you do I?" Harry asks, suddenly worried that he's being too rough without realizing it.  
"No, no… it's okay. You don't hurt me." Harry smiles and sighs with relief.

"Better get up, babe." Nicole sits up, rolling over onto Harry and straddling his hips, then grabs his face and kisses his forehead, rolling off the bed afterwards, "And you better take care of that situation you've got going on." She's smirking at him when she points at his lower half. Harry's eyes fly wide open as he sees what she's talking about, "Jesus!" He pulls his legs up and hides himself the best he can.  
Nicole laughs and goes to her bags to find clothes for the day.  
"I'll let you shower first… I suggest cold water." She's laughing again as she looks back at Harry who more than embarrassed, flaming cheeks and hiding them with his hands.  
Nicole sees just how mortified he is and goes to him again, taking his hands from his face, "Don't be embarrassed, although it is quite cute when you are… this is nothing to be embarrassed about, s'fine. Now go shower." Nicole kisses his lips lightly and moves so he can get up and he does, hesitantly, knowing he's just in his boxers which are the tight kind that leave nothing to imagination and he's straining within their confines.  
Harry makes his way to the bathroom, not grabbing extra clothes, too focused on hiding again when Nicole calls out behind him, "You've got a cute little butt, baby!" Harry whips his head around and smiles, "You know it!" Nicole laughs and falls back on the bed as Harry closes the door behind him, also chuckling.

Nicole waits for Harry to finish, mucking about on her phone, scrolling through Twitter and replying to some of her mentions. And trying as hard as she can to ignore the few moans she hears behind the bathroom door, knowing exactly what Harry's doing and feeling her cheeks go hot, even if he's not there.

When Harry comes out he's only covered up by a towel, water still clinging to his skin and Nicole feels herself get warm again, tries not to stare and then feels personally victimized by Harry's ridiculous amount of sex appeal. She smiles to herself, knowing most girls would've already thrown their knickers at Harry.  
"What in the world are you smiling about over there?" Harry asks, smiling at her, not realizing it's because she was managing not to stare at him and she felt victorious.  
"Nothing… I'm gonna shower now." She grabs up her clean clothes and brings them to the bathroom with her quickly.

Nicole leans against the door once she shuts it, taking a deep breath and wanting nothing more than to rip the door open and jump on Harry and kiss his lips off his beautiful face, but restrains herself, stripping her pajamas off and getting herself into the shower.  
She showers quickly and towel dries her hair, slips into her clean clothes, dark skinny jeans and a cream colored button up with short sleeves, decorated with little bicycles on it.  
She applies a small bit of mascara and pink tinted lip balm and opens the bathroom door, her shirt still unbuttoned, showing her lacy white bra under it, but she's uncaring, it was warm in the bathroom and a bra isn't anything special.  
"So, is there anything happening today?" Nicole asks, putting her hair into a fishtail braid off to the side.  
Harry looks up, now fully dressed in black jeans and a white t-shirt, "Not umm…" Harry gulps, his eye trailing over Nicole's unbuttoned shirt and he tries to look away as he clears his throat, playing it off as a dry throat, "Not much. …Thought I'd show you around a bit." Nicole smiles at him as she finishes her hair and secures it with a small elastic hair tie.  
"D'you think I should wear something warmer?" Harry looks her over, given the excuse to look, "Maybe a light jumper or something just in case, it's quite cold."  
"Okay." She buttons her shirt up to her neck and sorts the collar out before slipping a navy blue cardigan on.

The pair go downstairs to Anne and Gemma already in the kitchen, Anne's made a full breakfast, just like Nicole did for Harry the day he left and Harry smiles at his mum, realizing that when he'd thought Nicole was kind of like a mum he was right.  
Anne fixes plates for all of them and sets them on the table and everybody is seated, aside from Robin who was off to work early this morning.

"How'd you two sleep?" Anne asks kindly.  
"Good. …Nic?" Harry glances over to Nicole, letting her answer for herself.  
"Really good." Nicole smiles at Anne and turns to her glass of juice, focusing her eyes there, barely touching her food.  
The conversation floats around and Anne and Gemma finish first and clean up their plates, leaving Nicole and Harry alone as Nicole forks her food around and Harry goes for more.

Harry soon catches on to what she's doing, seeing barely any of her food has disappeared from her plate.  
"Are you okay?" He asks, eyes full of concern as he watches her closely.  
"Yeah… I'm good. Why?" She answers easily but doesn't look convinced of her own words.  
"You've barely touched your food."  
"Oh… I'm just not really hungry in the mornings. I don't usually eat breakfast."  
Harry gives her a look, one meant to say that he doesn't believe her because as he thinks about it, he's only ever actually seen her eat one time, and it was a salad that she hadn't even finished.  
"What?" She asks, looking at Harry, a bit agitated that this conversation is still happening.  
"If I ask you something, do you promise to answer honestly, and to not get mad?" Harry stares at her as he waits for her answer.  
She looks up, unsure of what to expect, "Yeah. I promise."  
"Are you not eating because of what the media is saying about you?"  
Nicole's eyes dart around, Harry knows he's struck a cord and watches as Nicole struggles for something to say.  
She scoots her chair out from the table and stands and Harry quickly mirrors her movements, "Where are you going?" He asks, worried and a but upset.  
"I'll be right back. Just stay here." Nicole stares at Harry until he sits again, then she goes up the stairs and Harry waits for her return, unable to eat anymore now that he's worked up about whatever is going on with Nicole.

Nicole comes back and nothing looks different about her, so Harry isn't worried that she did anything she shouldn't have while they were separated.  
She sits down again, across from Harry and he looks at her, big green eyes worried and flitting over her face, trying to read her.  
"I'm not going to deny that what the media says gets to me, but they have only a small part to play in why we're having this conversation. You obviously know that I have scars under my tattoos and I promise you, that's all they are, they're all old and there haven't been any new ones for two years. I didn't tell you about the other half of that situation… and maybe I should've, but it's my business and I don't talk about it with people, not even family… it's mine to deal with. So… here." Nicole slides her phone over to Harry and he looks down at it, completely horrified by the photograph he's being shown.  
"That's… that's you?" Harry asks, pushing the phone away, not able to look at it anymore.  
"Yes. It _was_ me. It was taken a few months after Eric died. About a year after that I was sent to a treatment center for self harm and anorexia. I spent a couple months there and it helped. I was remotely free from self harm after I left, only cut a few times and haven't relapsed in two years. That's what the tally mark tattoos under my arm are for."  
Harry nods, remember seeing them once, but not sure what they were and didn't ask her. He slides the phone back over to Nicole the rest of the way, the photograph of her as skin and bones, sunken cheeks and frail as can be now hidden behind the timed out black screen.  
"And what about the anorexia?" Harry asks, voice quiet and nervous and unsure.  
"I still struggle with it, but I'm obviously not starving myself anymore. I just… I'm careful what I put in my body because if I eat too much I panic and it's just regretregretregret all day and then the next day and I can't stop thinking about it. I don't starve myself and I'm not someone who won't eat a cookie or something… I'm comfortable with how I look, but it is hard sometimes, but I handle it. I went from what I just showed you, to what I am now, and that was a massive change, to finally have a figure, and curves and more than skin covering my bones… I'm… I'm not meant to be stick thin, I love having a curvy body now. But just because I say that now, doesn't mean I don't have the shitty days where I hate that I've got curvy hips and a bum and boobs that spill over a B cup."  
Harry looks at Nicole, taking in her features, so thankful that she isn't the version in the photograph, because he hated that, hates it now even… he thinks he'll always hate it, because that's not what his girl looks like, and he never wants her to look that way again.  
"But… you're… I don't know what to ask. I'm sorry." Harry shakes his head and grabs at his hair, angry at himself for not being able to find the words.  
"It's okay." Nicole moves closer to Harry, "You don't have to know how to handle everything… especially with me… I'm kind of a lot to deal with. I know that. But Harry, I promise you that I'm okay, and that if I ever feel like I'm not I will tell you. And if you ever want to ask me something, you can. I haven't lied to you yet, and I don't plan to either."  
Harry smiles up at her, a bit weakly, but he manages. "I trust you, I know you'll tell me the truth. And it's okay that you've got your things that aren't easy to handle sometimes, because I know I have mine too. I just wish you didn't have to have those things, I hate that you were so sick and so sad for so long… I never want you to be that way again."  
"I know that those things may seem really bad, and I know that they are, but they are the reason I'm the person I am now. And without them I may not even be here with you, I could've never met you, because that cousin I was visiting when you found me was the only person who was there after my treatment, and he helped me get better… we never talked before he found out… so if I hadn't been in treatment, I would've never had a friendship with my cousin, and I wouldn't have been in Minneapolis and wouldn't have gotten stuck or found by you… so even though I hated those years of my life, I don't regret them, because they gave me the things I have now, including you. And I'm quite fond of you… so I'd like to keep you around."  
Harry laughs, his throat thick with tears waiting to be freed, and his eyes are glistening as he fights back his urge to cry.  
"I'm just glad you're okay now. Please never think you need to be anyone different." Harry catches a tear that slips down his cheek unexpectedly, "Sorry," he says, shaking his head as another tear falls, "I don't mean to get so worked up, but I just don't want you to think you're not beautiful, or good enough as you are, because you are. I hate that there are so many things that hurt you in life, and I know that maybe without them you may not be here with me, but I'd give you those years back and fill them with good memories and flush the old bad ones away if I could, even if it meant not sitting here with you, because I hate it so much that you hurt so badly before… It kills me that so many people were bad to you."  
Nicole lets out a choked sound and quickly finds her way to Harry, wrapping her arms around his neck and they hold each other so close and so tight that it makes their arms hurt.

They break apart and dry their eyes, share a soft kiss and clean up the table in an understood silence.  
After they wipe any traces of lingering sadness or tears from they find Anne and she tells them that Harry's cousins are wanting to see him, if he's willing to go visit them, and Anne says she and Gemma will come along to keep the older family members occupied, and so Harry agrees, looking to Nicole to check if she's comfortable with it, and she is, knowing Harry doesn't get to see his family much and she just wants his life to be as normal as it can be, even with her in the picture, she doesn't want to take away from the time he spends with the other important people in his life.

They split into two groups, Harry and Nicole and then Gemma and Anne for driving. They take separate vehicles in case Harry has to leave early or if Anne or Gemma want to come home early.

The group arrives at Harry's cousins home, a medium sized house, obviously housing one or more small children by the outdoor toys outside their home.  
"How many kids do they have?" Nicole asks, curious as to if Harry has relatives his own age.  
"Four, their oldest is a year younger than me, and their youngest is just a baby."  
Nicole smiles and stays silent as they pull into the driveway and park, they get out at the same time and wait for Anne and Gemma before they approach the house.

There are kids running about when they enter, a boy Harry's age sitting on the sofa with his focus on his cell phone, two kids chasing each other, one around eleven and the other no older than seven. Harry greets the oldest first, and he immediately puts his phone down and hugs him, and Nicole smiles at them.  
And then the two younger boys are running up to Harry and saying hello and telling him all about school and new toys. And Harry just listens until their parents tell them to go play and 'leave poor Harold alone.'  
Harry introduces Nicole to his extended family and they surprisingly hug her and tell them they're excited to finally meet her and she smiles and blushes a little.  
Harry keeps her close by, knowing it can be awkward meeting someones family.  
Harry's aunt brings the baby in, who is only a few months old and everyone coos over her and asks to hold her, until Harry is left with her when his aunt shows his mum and sister the work they're doing on the house. Nicole watches Harry with her, and he's so careful with her, making sure he's holding her just right and barely letting himself relax, so worried over her and making sure she doesn't get upset and fuss.  
Nicole smiles, "You'll be a good dad."  
Harry laughs, "Thanks, mum says that too. I like kids, I've always wanted to be a dad."  
The baby starts fussing in Harry's arms shushes her and talks to her in a calming voice, "Nic, will you hold her quick? I think she's hungry." Nicole nods and Harry transfers the baby to her carefully and goes to the kitchen.

Nicole sits with the baby while she waits for Harry, she grabs her little baby blanket and holds the baby against her chest and drapes the blanket over the tiny baby girl so she's protected from any cold air.

Harry gets back to the family room and sees Nicole before she's even aware he's back, and she's resting back against the sofa with her eyes closed and the baby on her chest, and the baby is silent now, not one ounce of fuss left in her and he's astounded, shocked that Nicole knew how to handle kids and also by how natural she looked in the position she was.

"So you're good with kids then?" Harry asks, setting the now unnecessary bottle on the table as he sits on the sofa beside her.  
"I used to be a nanny." Harry's eyes go wide, "What? Really?"  
"Yeah, is it that hard to believe?" Nicole smirks, knowing that it kind of is.  
"A bit…" Harry says, knowing she won't take it too personally.  
"I know it is. But I took care of a one year old and a new born for almost a year. I was never into having kids before that, but I kind of love them now… I became a master at swaddling and carrying a baby on my hip and cooking dinner with one hand." Harry chuckles quietly, sure not to wake the now sleeping baby.  
They smile at each other and then Nicole puts her head back again, closing her eyes.  
"Are you tired?" Harry asks, once again concerned.  
"A bit, I've got a bit of jet lag." Harry nods and moves around, grabbing a blanket and pillow.  
"I'm tired too." He says, setting the pillow on Nicole's stomach and resting his head on it, lying between her legs and covering the rest of them with a blanket.  
"You okay with the baby?" Harry asks, looking up.  
"Yeah. Surprisingly enough I've got the maternal instinct not to move when I sleep with a baby in my arms." Harry smiles, hoping he's not too obvious at how pleased he is with Nicole's comfortability with children.  
They both end up falling asleep easily, Nicole absolutely still with the baby asleep on her chest and Harry only shifting a bit within a dream.

The three sleep while the extended family of Harry and his mother and sister are talking, sharing stories and of course, filling them in on Nicole and cooing over how attached they already seem to one another. Anne is all smiles and so proud of her son, pleased he's happy with the band and with the new girl in his life and Gemma is just as happy, taking a liking to Nicole quickly and looking forward to seeing her more in the future.

Harry wakes up first, careful not to move too much as he gets off the couch. He moves Nicole a little so her arms aren't holding the baby to her and she doesn't move. Harry smiles and goes to lift the baby from Nicole as carefully as he can, but Nicole's protective instincts kick in and snaps awake, pushes Harry away without thinking about it and holds the baby to her again.  
"Oh my God… Jesus, I'm sorry, Harry. You scared the crap out of me, are you okay?" Harry's wide eyed and taken aback by how protective Nicole was, thrown for a loop at how quickly she reacted and couldn't help but think how she'd be with her own child.  
"I'm fine. I didn't mean to scare you, I was just going to put the baby down in her bed." Harry's words are slower than usual, still thinking of Nicole as a mother and how he'd never thought about that until then.  
"It's okay… I'm sorry I freaked out. Apparently I'm going to be the most protective mom in the world." She laughs, but it's nervous and Harry knows she's just as thrown as he is.  
Harry doesn't say anything, still trying to get over the sudden thoughts of a domestic life with Nicole, he just watches her as she lays back again, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, calming herself so she doesn't wake the baby that's still securely in her arms.  
"I'll be right back, Nic… you alright with her?" Harry stands and looks to Nicole for confirmation.  
"Yeah. I'm good."  
Harry goes in search of Anne, and eventually finds her with everyone else in the kitchen.  
"You're awake!" Harry's aunt smiles at him.  
"Yeah, uh… mum could I talk to you for a minute?" Anne looks at Harry carefully and excuses herself from the rest of the group.  
The two go to talk away from eavesdroppers and Anne's worried expression is clear to Harry once he looks at her, "Mum, it's nothing to worry about, I just wanted to ask you something."  
"Okay, of course… go ahead."  
"Well, I was just wondering about like… maternal stuff, is it normal to be so aware of your baby even when you're sleeping?"  
"What is this about Harry, why do you want to know?"  
Harry sighs and runs his hands over his face, "Nicole and I fell asleep and she had the baby by her, and then I woke up and she didn't move at all, and I was going to take the baby so she could be more comfortable, and so I moved her arms away and she was fine, but like… the second I even touched the baby her eyes flew open and she pushed me away and in a second she was protecting the baby… I just… I don't know if that's normal, it kind of had me in a bit of shock."  
Anne smiles, "It is normal to be aware of your baby, and maybe not all mums are so alert whilst sleeping, but it's maternal instinct to not move when sleeping with a baby in your arms, and to be protective. Although… I am surprised she was so protective of a baby that's not her own. But, that probably just goes to show that she'll be a good mum."  
"Do women who haven't had.. er… you know… have maternal instincts anyway?"  
"I take 'you know' to mean sex… and I'm sure. It's not something that's activated by the loss of virginity, Harry. …Is Nicole a virgin?"  
Harry makes a pained sound, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation has taken even though it's his fault, "Er… yeah, she is."  
"I like her more than I thought I did. She's a good girl Harry, treat her well, yeah?"  
"I know mum, I will."  
"Alright, we should get going so go get her so we can say goodbye."  
"Okay, thanks mum."  
Anne walks away and Harry goes back to the family room to get Nicole.  
She's sleeping again when he finds her, baby in the same spot as before so he wake her up carefully, not even attempting to touch the baby.  
"Nic… babe, wake up." He shakes her lightly until she wakes, her eyes heavy and she looks completely exhausted.  
"Mmm Harry? Are you okay?" She looks concerned as she asks.  
Harry smiles, "I'm perfectly okay, we're going to get going alright?"  
"Yeah, should I put the baby in her bed?" Harry shakes his head, "That's alright, we'll just let my aunt take her." Nicole nods and stands up readjusting the baby in her arms and follows Harry into the kitchen.

They all say their goodbyes and hand the baby back over and are quickly out the door and in their own cars.  
Nicole is far more awake now, sitting up in her seat and talking to Harry with enthusiasm.  
"So I've gotten you another birthday present… if you're up for it?" Harry glances over at Nicole with a smile.  
"What? No, Harry, I don't need anything else, being here with you is enough." Harry watches her as they stop at a stop sign, she's so sincere and earnest when she speaks to him that he's unsure if he should push her to accept.  
"Getting you here was a group effort, it took all the boys and I to get our management to agree to having you here, but this… this is just something from me, and I've already gotten it, so please say yes? If you're not too tired…"  
Nicole gives him a look, "Okay. …What is it?"  
Harry laughs, "It's not really a physical thing… you'll see in a few minutes." Nicole rolls her eyes at him and he catches her out of the corner of his eyes, biting back a laugh.

They drive for a few more minutes and Harry starts to slow down, "Close your eyes… it's only fair." Nicole closes her eyes and places her hands over them for effect.  
Nicole sits in her seat, completely unaware and waiting for Harry to tell her to open her eyes again.  
"Just stay there. I'm going to come around and open the door for you." Nicole sits quietly and waits until Harry is at her side, guiding her out of the car and then steps behind her to guide her as they walk.  
"Harry, I'm going to kill myself trying to walk without being able to see." Harry laughs and stops her to open a door and guide her in again.  
"Where are we? Why is it so quiet?" Harry laughs and keeps guiding her, not telling her anything.  
"Okay… stop." Nicole stops and Harry turns her to face a certain direction, "Open your eyes."  
Nicole slowly uncovers her eyes and immediately has tears down her cheeks, "Harry…" She breathes his name through the tears thickening in her throat.  
"Is this a good cry or bad cry?" Harry asks stepping closer to her, a little hesitant.  
Nicole just hugs him as tight as she can, so amazed that Harry is even a real person and that she's able to have him in her life.  
"Thank you.. thank you so much for remembering." Harry just holds her close and reassures her that there was no way he could ever forget.  
Nicole kisses him a little longer than usual and pulls away and goes to wipe her eyes.  
"So, what do you want to see first? I had them get three movies I know you love, there's She's the Man, Pirate Radio, and Juno." Nicole breaks out in a big smile, eyes threatening to tear up again.  
"We get to watch all of them?" Harry chuckles, amused by the utter concern in her voice at the possibility of having to choose one film over the other.  
"Yes. We've got the place to ourselves for the rest of the day."  
Nicole stares at Harry, once again filled with nothing but adoration for the beautiful person that Harry is, inside and out.  
"Can we watch She's the Man first?" She looks to Harry for an okay and he just smiles and nods.  
Harry takes her over to the concessions counter, "Do you want anything?"  
"Mmm, just a small lemon-aid." Harry looks at her, wishing she'd eat something but not wanting to push… but she knows what he wants anyway, although unwilling to eat any of the candy or junk food the movie theater offers.  
She pulls Harry a bit closer and he leans down so she can talk to just him, "I know what you're thinking, and I'll eat… just not this stuff. Is that okay?"  
"Are you saying you'll let me take you to dinner?" Nicole considers saying no, she'll just eat when they get back to Harry's mums, but he looks so delighted at the chance to take her out that she smiles and agrees without putting up a fight.


	10. Chapter 10

Harry ends up taking Nicole to an Italian restaurant and she actually eats there, not a whole lot, but enough for Harry to be pleased and less concerned about her well-being. They get through dinner smoothly, sat in a more secluded area as to not be bothered by any fans and they only talk a bit, both tired from the long day and comfortable with the silence.

When they get home they greet Anne and Robin and fill them in on how the rest of their day went and Anne coos at her son and what he did for Nicole. Anne shoos them upstairs telling them that she and Robin are off to bed and if they need anything to come get them.  
Harry leads Nicole upstairs smiling all the way, absolutely pleased by how well the day went and how much he'd learned about her in less than 24 hours.

"Are you gonna shower?" Nicole asks Harry and he shakes his head no.  
"Mind if I do?"  
"Nah, go ahead." Nicole smiles and grabs her pajamas and heads to the bathroom.  
Harry slips his jeans and shirt off and then finds himself wandering around his old room, looking at the pictures and in his drawers, mostly filled with clothes that would barely cover him now, and he thinks about how odd his life has become and how fine he is with that.  
He walks past the bathroom door and hears Nicole humming as the water stops and he smiles and goes to sit on his bed, waiting for her to come out like he's missed her for the fifteen minutes she's been only a room away.

Nicole comes out in her little pajama shorts and a white henley, damp hair falling past her shoulders and a smile on her face.  
"Were you just sitting there the entire time?" She nearly snorts at the sight of him, sitting on his bed trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.  
"Not the entire time… I perused around my room." Nicole laughs and goes to her bag and puts her now dirty clothes by it.  
"Did you want to go to bed right away?" Harry asks, looking over at Nicole who is still by her bags, sorting her things.  
"Mmm not really tired enough to sleep… are you?"  
Harry cracks a smile, "No. Want to watch a movie?" He tries to hide the hope in his voice, seeking out cuddles and intimacy in one of the few ways he's been able to with Nicole.  
Nicole stands up and walks around the bed, Harry watching her every movement, "I kind of had a different idea?"  
Harry doesn't even know why or what he's nodding to, but he does and a bit too enthusiastically making Nicole smile at him.  
Nicole reaches Harry's side and he looks up at her, waiting for whatever it is she's going to do and tries to maintain some level of playing it cool, even though he's got little to no control over anything going on in his brain at the moment.  
Nicole kneels on the bed beside Harry and swings one of her legs over his, straddling his hips and watching his face, looking for an okay or disapproval… it's definitely okay with Harry.  
"Hi." Harry blurts, feeling like a git afterwards.  
Nicole laughs lightly, "Hi."  
"Was this the other idea then?" Harry asks, trying to sound teasing but it sounds nervous and he's thankful Nicole doesn't mention it.  
"Part of it." Harry's eyes dart around Nicole's face, searching for anything that will help him get in control of himself.  
"What's the other part?" Harry finds his bearings (kind of) and his brain has him reacting to their positioning and he lets his hands rest on her hips, thankful she doesn't slap them away.  
"I want you to kiss me." Harry furrows his brow and looks at Nicole questioningly, "You don't have to ask for me to kiss you." Harry says, still trying to figure this whole thing out.  
"No… I want you to kiss me, the way you want to kiss me." Harry watches her face, she's calm and sincere, and Harry wonders how she's so collected all of the time.  
"You're sure? We don't have t-"  
"I know, I want to… I'm sure." Harry gives a weak nod and shifts himself so Nicole is closer to him and he's sitting up more, one hand cupping her face and bringing her closer.  
Harry breathes her in as they get closer, rain and lavender just like always, he swipes his tongue along his lips subconsciously as they get closer and their eyes fall shut.  
They kiss like it's their first time, pressing their lips together lightly, getting more confident as they fall into comfortability.  
Harry finds his usual self, the one with no problem in interacting with girls and he runs his tongue along Nicole's bottom lip and she responds beautifully, parting her lips for him and Harry groans when Nicole's tongue starts giving his a run for his money, rolling against his and working him up in a way he hasn't been in a very long time.  
Nicole gets her hands into Harry's curly hair and Harry pulls her closer to him by her hips and she squeaks but doesn't stop kissing him, Harry smirks against her mouth and she bites his bottom lip and he's not so cocky after that.  
Harry finds his ways to get Nicole to respond to him with little moans or the hitching of her breath and takes full advantage just to hear her make those sounds and although he tries to keep his lower half from responding he can't keep himself controlled, not with Nicole directly on top of him, keening little sounds falling from her mouth and her tongue and lips making Harry feel like he's just been lit on fire.  
Harry pulls away slowly, trying to get his bearings but his body is working against him.  
"Sorry… but I don't want you to be uncomfortable, I can't really hide how my body reacts."  
Nicole pokes her tongue out and swipes across her kiss swollen lips, "I know. I didn't think it'd turn into that so fast… but those beautiful lips you've got, wooftah baby." She smiles and fans herself teasingly and Harry turns pink and laughs at her.

Nicole rolls off him and lays beside him on her side poking his dimple, "So how come you were ready to… do this?" Harry asks, a blush painting his cheeks.  
"I dunno. I guess more than anything I just wanted to."  
"And you didn't want to before?" Harry quirks an eyebrow at her, teasing but still serious.  
Nicole smiles, "I did. There have been times where mind was screaming for me to just stop being such a weirdo and kiss you until neither of us can breathe, and I've sat up at night thinking how any other girl would cut off their limbs to just say hello to you. But I am a weirdo and I can't just jump into those normal people things… but you make me want to, to be able to do those things that I've been afraid of doing for so long. I feel okay with you, like I don't have to worry about bad things happening while I'm with you, because you're there and nothing hurts me when I'm with you… I've never had that before. And so I guess all that made me feel like it would be okay to put my guard down a little and maybe not have all the control for a moment."  
Harry smiles at her before pulling her in for a soft kiss, "I don't mind that you're a weirdo… I'm a kind of a weirdo too."  
Nicole laughs, "You're weird is very much different than my weird… but I accept it wholeheartedly." Harry sticks his tongue out at her and mutters "Jerk."  
"Just go to sleep, we've got to leave early in the morning." Harry grumbles but complies, turning over onto his side to pull Nicole into him, spooning her and wrapping his arms around her.  
"Night, Harry."  
"Night, Nic." Harry kiss her shoulder and they fall asleep that way, close and content.

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The rest of the week sputters on, taking the drive to London from Holmes Chapel and meeting up with the rest of the boys again is good and fun and full of hours of quality entertainment. Nicole seems to fit into Harry's life in London just as easily as she did in America and at his mums house. She lets Harry do what he has to, doesn't follow behind him like a lost puppy waiting for direction, she lets him have his time and doesn't get in the way. Harry finds himself wondering how someone can know just how to be in his life like she does, always there at the right times and keeping her distance at others. He wonders why she's not always on his arm like other girls in the past have been, and wonders what she thinks of all of this, being here at his home the way she is… he wonders if she thinks about how domesticated they've become in such short time and if he's fascinating to her the way she is to him… he wonders a lot about her and them and the way the are at every given moment because it still seems so crazy to him that she's just there and she's not yet annoyed him or done something wrong or said something to upset him… she just fits and it's a wonderous thing to him.

They've been in London for three days, leaving two more days until Nicole is scheduled to go back to the states. She's gotten to see the boys in the studio, watch them in an interview, see them plan different legs of their upcoming tour and she's seen them laugh together and support each other in every decision they make. She finds herself smiling at them a lot, happy because they're happy, smiling because there is no reason not to. She knows most people would be crying their eyes out to have spent the past few days the way she has, but the five of them have become so much more than people in a band, and more of a weird little family that she's fallen into and doesn't ever want to be taken away from. 

Now though the boys are in the middle of a meeting at the same building as the studio, getting things sorted for the upcoming tour and ironing out some last minute details to get everything smoothed out for their departure in a matter of days.  
Nicole is sat outside of the office, waiting for them to finish and she's avoiding her phone because the backlash of her coming to England and being seen with Harry has been much greater than she thought and she's decided to keep the things she's seen in her mentions to herself for the time being because Harry has enough on his plate and she's now nineteen and should be able to not listen to what the bullies on the internet have to say… should be able to.

The doors open from the conference room the boys were in and Nicole looks up from her lap, seeing Niall exit first shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, then Harry walks out positively fuming, looking like he's about to punch the next person to set him off, his hands run over his face as he approaches Nicole, trying to wash some of the anger from his system but doing an awful job of it.  
"What's happened? What's wrong?" Nicole gets to Harry before he gets to her, she takes his face in her hands and looks him over, like his face is as easy to read as the novel on her bedside table.  
"We need to go." Harry says, his eyes softening as he hears the harsh tone of his voice.  
"No, you tell me right now. Going home won't fix what's wrong, I want to know right now." Nicole keeps her voice calm as she brushes her thumb over Harry's cheekbone, but her eyes defy her, the worry in them is so blatantly obvious that Harry looks away from them.  
"I don't want to talk about it here, it's not good."  
"I get that, but I'm not going to let you fume the entire ride home and be left in the dark about it. I'm not dim Harry, I know this has something to do with me, I could tell right away. Just tell me what it is."  
Harry takes her hands away from his face and holds them in his, trying his best to take hold of the situation as well, feel more in control of it all when he was everything but in control. He takes her to the studio they had been in earlier and sits her down on the sofa they'd been sitting at together just two hours ago when everything was great.

"Harry, just tell me before I start panicking." Nicole staring at Harry, watching every move in search of some idea as to what is going on.  
"Our management told us that being seen with you… they said it's umm… that it's not good for our image." Harry chokes the words out, feeling his heart pumping erratically in his chest but also feeling like it's going to stop any second because it feels so heavy like it's sinking or breaking right in half.  
Nicole looks away from him and down at her hands in her lap, "So… umm… what does that mean then?" She flicks her eyes back up to Harry, unable to keep the tears from slipping down her cheeks, but she doesn't sob or make any noise over it, just calmly asks the question.  
"They don't want us to be together, they said I should be with someone more conservative, someone our fan base will see in the spot light a lot." Nicole looks at Harry, understanding his words but not wanting to… not wanting to believe how fast her heart is pounding and sinking and breaking and threatening to fall out of her chest.  
"Someone famous… without tattoos and scars and no problem areas… I get it." Nicole wipes her cheeks free of the dampness from her tears and forces herself to be composed and not lash out and fight and scream and create a massive scene of angry words and throwing things like she so desperately wants to.  
"I don't want that though, I don't want someone else… I want you. I want you with your tattoos and scars. I want you with the unproblematic problem areas because I love them. I don't want to have someone else. You know that, this isn't my choice and I'd stop it if I could."  
Nicole stands up, Harry following her action as well, "I know. I know it isn't up to you. But, I'm just going to go, okay? I'm just going to have someone send my bags to me and I'm going to go to the airport and then go home. I just need to go home now… I'm sorry."  
Nicole closes her eyes quickly, trying to keep the pesky tears back and out of sight. She feels Harry's arms around her in seconds, his scent filling her nose and his strength pulling her into him.  
They stand there wrapped up in one another for a long time, knowing that it'll be over too soon and unsure of whether they'll ever be in the same room again.  
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Harry says, whispering his apology into her hair, his tears falling from his eyes like they'll never ever stop.  
"I know. I'm sorry too. I don't want this to happen, I don't know what's going to happen now." Nicole clings to him, knowing she should let go but refusing to because Harry has become so much to her and she knows even when she lets go of him she'll never really let go of him for real.  
"You'll be okay. I know you will. And we can still talk, just between us… but we can. I don't want you to disappear from my life." Harry smooths her hair and tries to pull himself together for her, so he can be the strong one, but he can't, it hurts too much because he knows she's already taken on 'the strong one' role and that she's not okay under all of it.  
"I won't. I'll always be there if you need me." Nicole looks up at him, his eyes shining and watery, cheeks damp, eyelashes clumped together, looking so so sad, so defeated and absolutely wrecked and she wipes at his cheeks, ridding them of the wetness, "I do love you. I promise you I do, and I will always love you." Harry chokes out a sob, unable to be embarrassed by how awful it sounded and how completely torn apart he is.  
Nicole kisses him despite his wobbly bottom lip, she kisses him hard and desperate and with everything she's ever needed to say and express and show Harry, because now it's the last time and it has to be shown and said and expressed so he'll know and understand and feel what she feels if even only a little bit.  
They kiss until they can't breathe, until their lips are sore and minds are swirling with absolutely everything they'd ever felt for one another.  
Harry is still crying, still unable to stop because he's never felt so broken over someone in his life and he wants to run away with Nicole forever because then no one could tell him what to do ever again and they could be happy the way they were just hours ago.  
"I love you too. Please promise me I'll see you again, promise we'll still talk?"  
"I promise."  
Nicole pulls away and Harry waits until both of their arms are stretched to full capacity to let her fingers go, and then he watches her walk away, with her head somehow help high and she looks okay, like she might be okay, like behind the studio doors nothing bad had happened, but Harry knows better. Harry knows that she's just waiting to be alone before she breaks down, to be out of sight before she drops the role of 'the strong one.'

Harry crumples to the ground the second she's out of his line of sight. He folds his arms over his face and screams, trying to get rid of the poisonous anger in his veins, but it's unsuccessful. And because it's unsuccessful the anger just amplifies and then he's stomping out of the studio and into the conference room still holding the executives that filled him with this rage. And then he's screaming at them, yelling and completely losing his shit, throwing profanities and cussing out the entire table for what they'd done.  
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!? HOW COULD YOU TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!?" He yells and slams a fist down onto the table.  
"YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING! I FUCKING HATE THIS LABEL, I HATE THIS MANAGEMENT! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING CUNTS!" He's screaming, his heart pounding and veins swimming with rage and then he's being pulled out of the office by Zayn, Louis, Niall and Liam.  
They haul him off, still thrashing trying to run back to the office to yell more, tell them how they've ruined something great and that he was so happy before they'd stuck their noses into his love life, but the boys keep a firm hold on him, carrying him off to an empty studio, a different one from before.

The boys sit him down and watch as he goes from angry, cussing, violent and fuming to a crumpled mess of tears and sobs and choked words. They all surround him, doing what they can to calm him to get him to a state where he can talk and be understood.  
Zayn is massaging Harry's scalp the way he likes and it helps, but it also makes him think of Nicole so he asks him to stop once he's able to sputter out more than clips of choked words. Louis and Niall both have a hand on each of his shoulders letting him know they're there and Liam is hanging him a tissue, and he's calming down, regaining his ability to see more than anger and the pain in his chest aches and sears but he knows the boys are there for him and will help him through it.  
"She said she loved me… I loved- love her and now she's gone." Harry wipes at his eyes as they sting again.  
The boys don't say anything, unsure of what to say because "it's going to be okay" wouldn't be a good choice of words and they all know it.  
"We know mate, we love her too. We'll get her back, we won't let you lose her, okay Haz?" Niall's got Harry's gaze locked with his own, he knows how to help Harry see a better side when he's upset and it helps. Harry nods slowly, hoping Niall is right, that he'll get her back. When he finally feels like he can leave the building without running off to punch someone from management he walks out with the boys, Paul's not there, but Andy is and he's got a car for them and a sad knowing look on his face and Harry clues in to the fact that Andy is alone because Paul is with Nicole, and it makes him both sad and relieved, because she's leaving him but she's always protected with Paul by her and Harry's not sure how to feel so he tries not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the super nice anon who asked for an update. :)  
> Sorry it's short and unedited, I'm writing more right now and can't be arsed to fix everything at the moment.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry spends the next two weeks trying to be okay. The first week is spent being coddled by the boys, all of them making sure he's okay, helping him with everything. It gets on his nerves because he's not incompetent, but he knows they're just doing it because they're worried about him and trying to help so he keeps his mouth shut and lets them mollycoddle him. He spends the nights that he's alone trying to avoid all things that remind him of Nicole and it sucks because her stuff is still there. Her silly light up toothbrush still taking a place in his toothbrush holder, the sticky notes on the mirror that tell him he's 'really quite nice looking' and the other that says "Cute things on your face: ALL OF IT IS CUTE! :)" And then there's the way she had made him put some cups on a lower shelf in the cupboard so she could reach without climbing on the counter top, and how her bags are still in his bedroom and his socks are all folded together in his top drawer and his underwear is folded and separated by color because she'd done his laundry without being asked the day they'd gotten home. It's a lot of things that are little bits of her being sprinkled all over his life and he can't get rid of them because they just keep showing up and showering down on him like a rain storm that spans the entire country for days and days and he's stuck just enduring it and floating in the flooded streets. 

The next week is spent gathering up Nicole's bags, slipping in one of his hoodies along with a sticky note in the pocket to tell her "I want you to have this, you've given me so much. Please remember me. xx" and he puts it on top of everything else in the bigger bag and zips it shut. Then adds another note to the smaller bag, "I love you. Text me or call me when you get these so I know they've gotten to you." He zips that one up too and then gets them picked up to be sent off to her and he feels emptier because there is less of her around now, except that he knows he left the light up toothbrush in his bathroom and the sticky notes on the mirror and his underwear are still folded and separated and his socks are folded into balls and there are cups on the wrong shelf in his cupboards… she's still there because he doesn't want her to be completely gone. 

After the second week management is calling the boys back into their offices. Harry avoids a lecture from his freak out after Nicole had left and he's thankful for it, because he definitely wouldn't be letting his mates drag him off again if he had something to yell about this time.  
Which he does, because they've called the boys there to inform them that since their tour is starting up they could use some more publicity, which ends up meaning that Perrie will be mentioning One Direction in Little Mix interviews because of Zayn and Eleanor will be tweeting her support a bit more and that Harry will be set up with Taylor Swift.  
The two are going to be sent off to the states for a little 'vacation' which really just means "get photographed as much as possible and make it believable." Harry is angry, threatening to burst at the seams when Louis steps in and tells the management team that if Harry is sent off then all of them are and they'll all go to the states so he's not alone. The team agrees and Harry swallows his rage for the time being, fuming in silence, gripping his knees so hard under the table that his fingers hurt and he's sure to be leaving little half moon indents under his jeans.

They leave the office together, the boys letting Harry know they're there and trying to help him through it, trying to keep him from crumbling again because he's the youngest and he has the most pressure put on him all of the time.  
But Harry ends up meeting with Taylor Swift despite the anger he feels towards the whole thing. He thinks Taylor is a bit stuck up and boring because she only ever talks about herself and her music and when he tries to broaden the conversation she doesn't understand what he's saying because they don't have any common interests aside from being in the music industry. He hates having to pretend he's with her, her hand is too big in his and she's too tall and too thin and she doesn't smell like lavender or rain and her hair is too blonde and eyes aren't green and she doesn't have tattoos covering her arms or interesting life stories to tell him and she's not from Minnesota or the girl he'd fallen in love with.  
He pretends to have slept at her hotel each night, walking out of the building like he's just had a sex-filled night when really he'd been dropped at a different door and walked through the lobby after sleeping at his own hotel with his bandmates trying to comfort him and letting him vent about how much he hates pretending he's with someone who isn't Nicole.  
He knows he wouldn't even mind Taylor if he wasn't forced to be with her the way he is, but that's just it. He is being forced and therefore he's angry about it and feels entitled to be have a less than friendly opinion on her.

After being in the states with Taylor they have a break from her, because touring starts and he busies himself with work and it works… until Nicole texts him telling him she's gotten her bags and thanks for the sweater, she loves him too and sorry for not calling, didn't want to interrupt anything. He's not sure if it's okay to reply, but he does anyway, telling her she's not interrupting anything and even if she did he wouldn't care.  
So they end up talking, until he's being forced off his phone and on stage to sing for thousands of people who aren't Nicole.  
On stage he's holding himself together with knowing Nicole is talking to him and that maybe not everything is ruined.  
He finishes the show with a headache and heartache and rushes to the dressing room for his phone to see a text from Nicole.

From: Nicole  
To: Harry  
 **Have a good show tonight. Let me know how it goes?**

He smiles to himself because what held him together during the show wasn't false hope after all and he's so so thankful for that.  
So he messages her back, telling her to stay up a few minutes for him and he'll call her to tell her about it.  
She replies fast, making him smile at the phone in his hands, she tells him she'll stay up forever for him, and she adds a winky face for cheek and he laughs to himself, happy she's still the same girl she always was with him.

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Nicole spends the two weeks a bit like Harry did. The first is spent having random moments where she just falls apart and cries until her eyes burn and throat hurts and lungs ache almost as much as her heart. She escapes work for two extra days and then is forced back, unable to avoid the whispers from the people who talk about her in hushed tones at their tables. She sees the headlines in magazines, saying her and Harry aren't together anymore and speculation that they never were… bullshit.

The second week is where everything sucks a bit more, it starts out okay, then slides into the fiery depths of hell because Harry is plastered over everything holding hands with Taylor Swift in New York and she nearly throws up. Instead she cries and slams her fist into the nearest wall leaving her with a tingling sensation, no broken bones and no resolved issues. From then on she avoids all media outlets, ignoring twitter, Facebook, tumblr, the entire internet all together. She avoids the magazine sections wherever she goes, then just doesn't go out at all, asking her mother or sister to pick her up some milk and orange juice at the store if they can… they do. 

And then she gets her bags back and Harry's sweater and finds the note in the pocket when she's lying in bed with it on and she texts him because he asked her to, and then things seem okay when they're talking. Because Harry is still Harry and she still loves him and the sweater she's wearing smells just like him and she thinks that maybe that's home, not where she is now. Maybe sometimes people are home, and she thinks that Harry might be her home, where ever he is, that is where she would prefer to be. 

They text each other until Harry stops replying, then she knows he's preforming. He's working. So she leaves him one last message and stays awake hoping for an answer in the hours to come… it does.  
She stays up a bit later, waiting for a call because he asked her to and she'd do anything if it meant hearing his voice again.  
So she sits in the middle of her bed in his sweater, waiting for her phone to ring and for his name to pop up on the screen.  
It does. And then she's answering it and he's saying hello and she thinks he sounds so beautiful even after singing an entire set and dancing all around a big stage, he still sounds so beautiful to her.  
"Hi." She says, nervous and hesitant, like this is their first phone call and he's her first crush in middle school.  
"How are you?" He asks, unsure if it's an okay question because the answer probably won't be the whole truth.  
"I'm okay. How are you?"  
"I've been better." He's honest, the thought of lying anymore makes him nauseous.  
"Yeah… me too." Harry lets a deep breath out, the tone of Nicole's voice making him feel weak in the knees and useless.  
"I'm sorry. This is probably a lot harder on your end, our publicity team isn't really doing us any favors in this situation."  
"I'm pretty good at avoiding the media. I know what everyone is saying, I don't need to read it everyday."  
"So you know about Taylor then?" Harry's voice nearly cracks as he asks, the entire sentence making his mouth taste bad.  
"Yeah. I do. But it's okay. Whether it's for real or not, it's not mine to judge. I know that your life doesn't stop because we broke up, you're allowed to be happy with other people and I'm not going to get in the way of anything that makes you happy, because that's all I want for you." Harry presses a finger to the corner of his left eye, like he can shove the tears back in.  
"It's not real. I'm not happy with her, but thank you… for what you said."  
"I'd never step in the way of you being happy, Harry. When you love someone you do everything it takes to keep them from being sad, to take their sadness away… you do it even if it makes you sad because when you love them their happiness is more important than your own and if they're happy then things can't really be that bad."  
Harry sniffles and lets a whimper fall through the phone, "I hate that you're not here… I hate that you're saying these things. You shouldn't have to."  
"Don't cry. Harry, please." Harry lets out an audible cry, unable to keep it in anymore. "Harry, listen to me right now. Are you listening?"  
"Yes."  
"I love you, and I need you to calm down, can you do that?"  
Harry takes a shaky breath and breaks down into a cry again.  
"Harry, babe, listen to me, just breathe okay? Calm down, you're okay… just breathe for me." Harry listens, his breathing shuddering through him, shaky and uneven and threatening to break down into sobs again.  
"You're doing good, so good. Harry, you just need to be calm for me, we're going to be okay. We're going to be just fine, I promise you that. Are you calmed down now?"  
"A bit…" Harry sniffles again, his voice pouty and sad and tired.  
"Okay, good job babe. Now you're at a hotel, yeah?"  
"Yeah." Harry nods too, forgetting she can't see him.  
"Alright, now go to your bed." She hears Harry move, his feet shuffling across the floor sounding through the silence in their conversation.  
"M'here." He says, his tired voice weak and broken.  
"Okay, good. Now get out of your clothes and get into bed." Harry shucks his jeans and does his best to get his shirt off without taking the phone too far from his ear.  
"M'in now."  
"Kay. Now cuddle in, can you do that for me, babe?"  
Harry smiles at the term of endearment, "Yeah."  
Nicole lays herself down on her own bed, cuddling herself into her blankets just like she told Harry to do as well, "Feel a little better now?"  
"Yeah."  
"Good. Want me to tell you a story for bed?"  
"Yes… please."  
Nicole smiles and meanders on into a story about some fairy tail she'd made up on the spot, earning sleepy laughs from Harry's end and it doesn't take long before Harry's breathing is steady and his little comments stop coming and he's asleep.  
Nicole says goodnight and tells him she loves him despite him being asleep and hangs up, letting the boy sleep while he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't had a chance to proof read this yet, so I apologize. I'll get to it soon.


	12. Chapter 12

In the morning Harry wakes with his phone right next to his face and the sleep muddled memory of Nicole's voice in his ear until his exhaustion took over.  
His face feels a bit tight from the tears that had dried before he wiped them away and he's sluggish and slow as he throws his duvet off and makes his way to his bathroom for a wee and a much needed shower.  
Where he would normally sing in the shower today he doesn't. He's quiet and trying to think of how he's going to get through the day without being completely miserable.  
He washes himself and gets out, going to find his phone and check the time.  
It's only 8am but he still hits Nicole's name in his contacts and lets the phone call her as he puts it on speaker so he can move around.

"Hello?" Nicole sounds wide awake despite it being only 6am in Minnesota.  
"Hey." Harry's still a bit sleep ridden as he speaks.  
"Everything alright, Harry?"  
Harry sighs heavily, not wanting to lie but the truth isn't a good way to start a conversation.  
"I know." Nicole says, "I think we're on the same page with being classified as alright."  
"I'm glad I'm not alone." Harry tries to laugh, but it doesn't work right with how serious his voice is.  
"Did you sleep well enough then?" Harry manages a smile, pleased at the change in topic and that she knew to change it at the right time.  
"Yeah… Thank you for last night, I wasn't having a good day… or days."  
"It's not a problem. You know, you can call me whenever you need to. I know things are kind of awful right now, and maybe we should feel weird about talking, but I'd rather be there if you need to talk, rather than be helpless if you're having a shit day. I'll always talk to you, Harry."  
"I know… I was just being stupid before, thinking that calling would make everything worse. I know you're there for me, and the same goes for you… If you ever need anything, I want to be there for you as well."  
"I know, Harry. I don't want you to stop being in my life…"  
"I'm not going anywhere… well, I am… but no matter where I am I'll always make sure I can get to you if you need me."  
Nicole chuckles lightly, "So metaphorically, you're not going anywhere…" She laughs to herself and Harry smiles.  
"I'm metaphorically stationary for you." Harry laughs at the stupidity of his own words, but doesn't let it embarrass him because Nicole laughs too.  
Their laughter dies down but they keep smiling at their phones, "So why're you up so early, love?" Harry asks.  
"Well I've actually got a little photo-shoot set up with someone from St. Paul, so I'm actually driving up there now. What are you doing up so early?"  
"That sounds fun. I've got to get ready to head off to a signing that we've got to drive to and then we're basically just hanging out until the show tonight."  
"Should I let you go then?"  
"I wish you didn't, but I've got to head out…"  
"S'okay. I'll talk to you soon, yeah?"  
"Yeah, I'll ring you later. Drive safe and send me a picture or something so I can see what you're doing?"  
"I will. Have fun with all the screaming girls."  
Harry laughs, "'course, talk to you soon."  
"Bye, Harry."

And then Harry is left feeling like his heart has been mended if only just a little bit, it helps and he doesn't feel like today will be spent in misery or wallowing in his own self pity. 

He makes it to the signing and then to his show just fine and Nicole texts him a picture of the person she's doing the photo-shoot with, some guy with skin the color of Zayn's and dreads down to his bum and tattoos up his arms and he's holding a guitar and it all looks like it could be in a music magazine or something, and he's also jealous of the guy in the photo because it's not him and he's not ugly and Harry practically loathes any guy that spends time with Nicole that isn't him.

But they're okay. They text and call and keep in touch on a nearly daily basis. They're constantly talking for months, always with their phones, always waiting for one or the other to call and they never ignore the others calls, they only miss them if they're working or in the shower, but the other is always called back within an hour of being missed. Their system works, they still love each other and hate the situation they're in, but they deal and they're trying to not lose one another over it. 

Harry has become somewhat codependent on Nicole, she's who he goes to when he just needs someone, when he needs to know he's not a fuck up, when everything is going through his head too fast, when he needs to be told that someone loves him and believe it, when he needs to be put in place by someone who won't go easy on him because he's Harry Styles… she gives him everything he needs when he needs it and she's always there. Harry now calls her each night for a stupid bed time story because her voice is just the perfect mix of calming, raspy, and the girl he loves and it puts him to sleep easily, and he calls her when he's thought of a joke but doesn't want to be made fun of by the boys if it's shitty. He calls her when he visits a new city and wants to tell someone about it, but he just really wants to share it with her, not just anyone, and he calls her for everything and neither of them mind because it's a mutual fascination they have with one another.  
Nicole is more subdued than Harry had originally thought, she's quite quiet and only likes to talk when she has things to say or if Harry asks her to just talk because he needs to focus on anything that is not his busy schedule. So she's kind of his escape, his little place to go when he's tired of all the signings and singing and interviews, and their conversations are never empty, they're always full and Harry remembers all of them because they're important to him and Nicole would swim around in Harry's voice if it was a physical thing and she could fill a pool with it. She wishes she could see him, be there watching as he talked with his hands and watch the way his facial expressions change and lips move and eyes light up, but she accepts that this is what she has and treasures it every time Harry's voice is in her ear and absolutely loves him with everything she has and she loves him more with every conversation they have and every day that passes. 

It takes a long time before the boys even reach the midwest.  
It takes hundreds of phone calls and thousands of texts and a lot of bad days where they both cry because they hate it so much, and Harry is still being forced to be seen with Taylor and no one likes that, not even the rest of the boys.

But they're in Louisville when shit starts to hit the fan. It all beings with Taylor being flown out to attend the show, and it's okay for awhile. Harry is polite to her puts up with her being there even though he'd like to tell her to keep her hands to herself and stop acting like they actually like one another.  
They're sent out to go and get lunch together, which is just meant to say 'get fans to take pictures of you together.' So they do and apparently no one in Louisville is on board with Haylor, and instead of it being "OH MY GOD HAYLOR" it's "OH MY GOD HARRY STYLES" and no one is wanting to even say hello to Taylor. People ask for pictures with Harry and he takes pictures with them and for some reason Taylor thinks that she's included too, until one girl actually speaks up and says, "No, I just want it to be Harry."  
And so that's where all the shit starts going badly.  
By the time they actually get lunch Taylor is upset about Harry's fans not being nice to her, and Harry is texting Nicole because she's having a crappy day at the bakery because it's not getting enough income so they're closing it down and she's going to be left jobless and it just sucks so Harry's trying to calm her down and tell her she doesn't have to worry about it because it's going to be okay. But Taylor is just not having it, she's tapping her nails on the table impatiently, looking at Harry like he's just killed her cat and gave it to her as a birthday present.

"Would you stop texting and pay attention to me? We're supposed to be on a date."  
"I'm sorry, but one of my friends is having a crap day and she's just really upset." Harry looks up at her, genuinely apologetic over not being good company.  
"She? Is it that girl from before? The bigger girl?" Harry's eyes widen and he squeezes his hands into fists at his sides, trying to hold in the anger he's got coursing through him.  
"She's not 'the bigger girl' she's just not a size 2 like everyone thinks she needs to be, and who cares if it is her anyway?"  
"I do. We're dating Harry, you shouldn't be talking to other girls."  
Harry bites back a laugh and is thankful that they're in a fairly empty place at the moment, "We're not actually dating, Taylor. I can talk to whoever I like." Harry whispers to her, an annoyed tone to his voice.  
Taylor stands from her seat and stares down at Harry, "I'm so done with this! You never pay attention to me! You don't even try! Agh!!" She stomps away like an overdramatic school girl with no level of maturity at all and Harry lets her.

He sits in his seat a bit longer, letting himself relax for a moment and then he feels like laughing over how dumb everything that just happened was. He's happy because he knows there is no way that the people in the restaurant didn't hear her, and management is going to have a tough time of making it seem like they can get back together after what she said. He feels like skipping through a field of wild flowers at the thought of not spending another moment with someone he doesn't like.

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In the forty odd days Harry is officially freed of Taylor Swift and ever closer to Minnesota and he's happy and nervous because no one had told him that Nicole was invited or even if she was planing to attend the event or even allowed to, and he's asked her but she's not sure if she can make it with the bakery closing and management being so hateful towards the two.

However they arrive in Illinois where they have two shows and four days relatively free and relatively free means radio interviews and maybe a photo-shoot for something squeezed in.  
It's their second free day that they squeeze a photo-shoot in, and the boys seem excited for it which Harry is apprehensive about because usually photo-shoots tire everybody out because they make for long days, but he goes along with it and arrives at a big building with the lot of them and they're shown to a dressing room to get their hair and makeup done and get in their first outfit, and they're all color coordinated and dressed up in nice clothes they'll give back at the end of the day.

They all walk out together, the boys smiling like weirdos and Harry thinking they're absolutely mental. The room is big and professional looking and as odd as it is for them to do a photo-shoot in Illinois while on tour Harry just goes with it, because who the fuck knows how everything is supposed to work when you're in an internationally known boy band?

Harry sees a small woman bent over a camera case, rifling through it as he gets closer and then someone is asking them to stand in front of a solid white backdrop so he goes and stands by the rest of the boys as he's told and he waits for more instruction.

"Okay," The photographer says before she looks up and Harry's ears perk up at how familiar she sounds, "Just a small shoot today boys." And she looks up and Harry sees her and nearly shits himself.  
She's smiling at him and he practically pounces on her, he doesn't even have a chance to ask how or why she's here he just loses it.  
He's crying like a baby, like he hasn't in weeks because everything was alright, but now it's like all the bad is washed away and he's so so happy.  
She holds onto him and runs her fingers through his styled curls and he's holding her so tight her ribs hurt, but she doesn't mention it or care that much at all.  
"What are you doing here?" Harry asks, finally able to do more than cry.  
"I'm doing a photo-shoot for you guys." She's smirking and he just wants to kiss her until he can't breathe.  
"For real? How? Does management know it's you?"  
"Yeah, they know. Apparently you showed the boys the picture from the shoot I did in St. Paul and they asked if they could have something set up with me, and I'm sure there was more persuasion than they're admitting, but here we are."  
Harry smiles at her hugely before turning around and hugging the four boys who did this for him. Niall has a firm grip on his neck as he whispers "Get her back, bro." And all the guys are patting him on the back with their own versions of Niall's message.

"We're gonna give you two a minute to… reconnect." Niall laughs to himself as the group of boys walk back to the dressing room and finding a place where they can spy without being caught.

Harry scoops Nicole up in his arms the second they excuse themselves and he's elated to just see her and touch her and for her to be more than a voice again.  
"I've missed you so much." He says as he sets her back on the ground.  
"I've missed you too." She's smiling and he knows she's just as happy as he is.  
"So we're really doing a shoot?"  
"Yeah, nothing for a magazine or anything, I'm not that cool… but I dunno, this is kind of my job right now, until I'm done with school anyway."  
"Seriously?" Harry asks, excited and surprised.  
"I can take my work with me now… I only have a few weeks left at college and then I need to find a new school to go to to get my full bachelors degree, so yeah. S'my job at the moment."  
"That's amazing! What school are you going to go to now?" Harry asks, so curious and amazed by her.  
"Not sure, maybe you can help me decide… I don't know much about the schools in England."  
Harry's eyes go wide and he nearly chokes on his own saliva at her words.  
"What? You… Oh my god, are you serious right now?"  
Nicole laughs, "Yeah. I've always said that if I moved it would never be just a state or two away, if I move I want everything to be new and different.. sooo yeah."  
Harry is nearly crying at how happy he is, the lump in his throat is there and his eyes are stinging but he's trying so hard to keep it together.  
"Is it okay if I move to your homeland?" Nicole smirks up at him, amused by his reaction.  
"Yeah… it's very okay." Harry chokes out the last word and then he's got watery eyes and a wobbly bottom lip.  
"Oh gosh, come here!" Nicole hugs Harry to her before she takes his face in her hands and kisses his lips, and Harry's nearly immobile from it.  
He gets himself together enough to kiss her back, kiss her like he'll die if he doesn't. For the first time it's a kiss without fear, no fear of pushing too far or what will come after it ends, it's a kiss that they should've been able to have already and they're enthralled to finally be able to take it and have it and revel in it.  
Harry's licking his way into her mouth and never wanting any of it to end, to always always have Nicole next to him and to always be able to kiss her this way. Nicole lets him take the lead, knowing he needs to feel in control for the moment and she just gives him what he needs, lets him take and take until they can't breathe and the wolf whistles and whoops from the four boys who tried to spy but failed are surrounding them.

Nicole and Harry break up their reunion and the boys come back out, hugging Nicole and telling them how happy they are that they're back together, because it was given that they would be even if they hadn't discussed it yet, they were very much together.

They do their photo-shoot and the boys are giggly and distracted as usual and Nicole does her best to keep them focused. Harry is the worst though, he won't stop smiling during the serious shots and Nicole keeps giving him stern looks and finally says, "Harry! I love you, but stop smiling!" Which really only ends up with the rest of the boys laughing at him and a blush on his cheeks.  
Thankfully though Harry contains his smiles and they're able to finish the shoot before the sun starts to set and head off to their hotel to chill out a bit.

Harry ends up taking Nicole's bags to his room right away, not caring whether she'd already reserved a room or not, he wanted her to stay with him for as long as possible. Nicole doesn't say anything about it, she just smiles to herself and follows behind him without a word.

Once everyone's had a chance to wind down and get their showers in and change into comfy clothes Niall invites everyone over to his and Zayn's for a movie because if they're doing something he refuses to move from his bed. So Harry and Nicole go over to their room and Niall is sprawled out on his bed like a star fish, Louis is sitting in a chair beside his bed with his feet propped up, Liam hasn't arrived and Zayn is dawdling in the washroom.

Nicole and Harry sit on Zayn's bed before he comes out and then Liam arrives and flops down right on Niall but he doesn't move, he just grumbles and huffs and stays still.  
Zayn pops a DVD in and sits on his bed by Harry because Nicole is between his legs resting against his chest.

Movie watching ends up being more of 'lets talk over the movie but keep it on anyway' time. The boys are talking to Nicole about what she's been doing and what school she wants to go to in England because they were spying the entire time at the photo-shoot.  
"I've gotten accepted to about twelve so far, but I'm not sure where I want to live. London is so expensive I'd end up in a box outside the university within a week, and the smaller schools haven't got as much for resources, so I'm still trying to figure it out."  
"But you've been accepted to schools in London?" Zayn asks, looking like he's got a lot going on in his head.  
"Yeah. I've got accepted to Goldsmiths, University of London and like two other smaller schools."  
"Do you like Goldsmiths?"  
"Well… yeah, it's a great school."  
"So you should go there. Plus we all live in London when we're off tour, so we could hang out." Zayn says it like it's just common knowledge as if any other choice is irrelevant.  
"That'd be beautifully convenient, but finding a decent place to live without handing over my entire savings is going to be nearly impossible. Plus it's so big, I'd get lost the second I got to the airport." The boys laugh a bit but look like they're really trying to help her figure everything out.  
"So, why don't you live with me?" Harry asks seriously, the rest of the boys staring at him with wide eyes.  
Nicole turns around to face him, "You're asking me to move in with you?" Nicole almost laughs, but hold it back.  
"Yeah, I mean if you're just there for school then why not? I've got a house that barely gets used because we're always working, and this way you can go to a good school without having to worry about getting jumped walking home because I live like ten minutes from the Goldsmiths campus."  
"Oh.. wow, you're totally serious." Nicole blurts, realizing that Harry isn't even slightly joking.  
"Yeah."  
"Uhm… I dunno, I mean, I don't want to get in the way and I just… that's kind of a big deal isn't it? You think we can live together already?"  
"I guess it's a big deal, but it makes sense. I won't be home most of the time, but yeah, I think we can handle it."  
"Can I think about it a bit?"  
"Of course, love." Nicole gives him a quick kiss and turns herself around again so she's facing the television, and she catches the other boys looking at her and Harry still.  
"What?" She asks, giving them a look.  
Niall sits up and looks like he's about to burst, "I'm so excited!" He bounces up and down on the bed, making the rest of the boys laugh.  
"Maybe if you move to London Harry will finally stop being mopey over not spending enough time with you." Liam says it as a joke, but they all know it's a true statement.  
"Awwh wittle Harry gets mopey." Nicole tilts her head back to look up at Harry and she pinches his cheeks teasingly. His cheeks go pink and he gets a bit shy over the whole thing.  
"Who knew Harry was such a blusher." Louis laughs as he says it, and Harry shoots him a look but it's half hearted and lacking any real conviction.

 

When the movie ends the boys start to disperse and Nicole and Harry go to their room together. Nicole trails behind Harry and as he sits on the bed she walks to him and kisses him lightly, "You're going to have meet my family." She says, serious but still smiling a little.  
"How come?" He asks, not bothered by the idea of meeting her family, just curious.  
"They'd probably like to meet the person I'll be living with…" She's smirking as she watches Harry take in what she's said.  
He doesn't even say anything, he just grabs her and pulls her on top of him, kissing her all over her face making her laugh.  
"So you can handle my parents then?"  
"Yeah, I can. You're serious though? You really want to move in with me?"  
"I think we can do it… but there is one thing…"  
Harry's face changes into concern as he looks at Nicole not sure if he wants to know what the one thing is.  
"Your management team is going to have a hard time keeping us apart if we live in the same house." Harry allows himself to smile, relieved despite the initial worry as to what management will say or do.  
"Fuck 'em. I can't be arsed to care if I get to come home from tour and have you in the same place as me… They don't matter, I'm not going to let them get in our way again."  
Nicole kisses Harry and they spend the rest of the night talking and sorting out the moving process and a date for her to fly to London and everything they could possibly need to sort out, they do… including the day that Harry will meet Nicole's parents, which ends up being tomorrow when they arrive in Minnesota early in the morning.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my lack in updates is forgiven after these ones. I've got another chapter half way done, so I'll work on getting it up soon.

Nicole and Harry drive separately from Illinois because Nicole has their car and they've planned to have Harry meet Nicole's family.  
The drive is long and Harry lets Nicole sleep while he drives, following the monotone voice of the GPS through all of the small towns and long expanses of country side.

Nicole is awake about two hours after they leave Minneapolis and then her and Harry spend the next hour and a half talking, Harry feeling a bit nervous over meeting her family… mostly her father, who he hadn't heard a ton about, just enough to know he's not exactly a friendly looking guy.

And he's not, Nicole wasn't lying. Harry meets her father first, along with her step-mom and it's awkward and weird and Nicole hates it. Harry is the first guy she's ever introduced to her parents and she's also telling them that she'll be living with him in London during her time at school there, and her father is quiet and serious the entire time.  
He doesn't say anything really until they leave, which isn't long after they arrive and Harry gets the hint that Nicole doesn't spend much time with her dad and they don't seem to talk much at all.  
As they leave Harry shakes her fathers hand again and he says, "just take care of her." Harry assures him he will, because he has no stronger urge than to protect and care for Nicole.  
Nicole's step mom hugs him and tells him that he's a nice guy and it was good to meet him.  
Then they leave and head off to Nicole's mothers house where her sister is also waiting.

"So, that was weird." Nicole says, slightly laughing as she drives them the ten miles to her moms.  
"Yeah… I thought you may have been exaggerating when you described your dad, but 'tough biker guy' seems to be accurate. I pictured a larger beard though."  
Nicole barks out a laugh and giggles until she calms herself.  
"Well, my mom is a bit easier to be around. She's funny, has no filter, gossips like a mad woman and does not have a beard."  
Harry laughs, "Is she embarrassing like my mum is?"  
"With her and my sister being together, I can imagine I will have warm cheeks and the monologue "Make it stop, this is actually killing me" running through my head the entire time."  
Harry chuckles as they slow down and entire a town even smaller than the one before, and Nicole slows down as the near one of the larger houses with a deck out in front and a large garden that is mostly dead.  
"I thought your mum lived in a flat." Harry says, a little confused.  
"She does. You know how I told you about my old old house, with the bridge and big back yard and all that? …this is that house."  
Harry doesn't look at her, he knows the look on her face is sad and will probably test his ability to keep from crying. He looks at the house in front of them, abandoned and decaying from lack of use. He imagines it was once a beautiful home, lots of colorful flowers out front, a loving family inside, one that laughed together and spent all of their time together.  
"I didn't realize it was so close to where you all live now."  
"I've never been very far from it… I see it every time I come to see my mom, every time I have to drive through this town and like, no matter how much I see it I never get over how angry it makes me. I'm not even sad over it anymore, it's just like this house is where every bad thing in my life happened, it's all centered here. I lived here when my parents were splitting up, when I lost Eric, when I was sick… but even though this house is where all of those things happened, it's still impossible to hate because of that. I loved living here, I loved my bedroom, I loved our kitchen and living room, I probably even loved the bathroom… I dunno, I see this house and I think, 'I'll never be that kid that visits their parents at the house they grew up in.' I don't get to have a childhood home anymore, this house won't always be just mine or be here… my dad built this house for my family, but now someone else can move in if they don't tear it down first. Dad says they'll tear it down because so much has gone bad inside…" Nicole's voice breaks and she looks down to her lap, eyes filling with tears, "My family was so happy when I was growing up, I didn't think I'd ever have divorced parents, I thought I'd live at home and go to a local college and be so lucky like so many people I knew weren't. But now I've lived by myself since before I graduated high school and one day this house won't even exist because my family was such shit… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so stupid over this. I just wanted to show you where I used to live." Nicole takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes with shaking hands and Harry watches her for a moment before getting her attention.  
"It's not stupid… you're allowed to be upset over things like this, over anything you want to be upset about really. I'm glad you showed me, you've seen so much of my life and I haven't seen as much of yours… so it's nice. I like when you tell me things like this, you're so different when you're talking about this stuff, it's like it's just you and the words you're saying and I almost feel like I'm intruding but can't stop listening or stop watching you because I have to know, I have to listen and remember because it's you talking, it's what's important to you and so it's important to me too."  
Nicole bites her bottom lip and sniffles, "Thanks." Harry smiles and kisses her softly.

They finally leave the old damaged house and drive barely a minute before they're turning into a large parking lot next to a church and an apartment complex.  
Nicole leads Harry to the complex and up to her mothers flat and they both walk right in.  
Harry is greeted by Nicole's mother in the kitchen and she hugs him with a hello and then Nicole's sister is greeting them with a hello to Harry and Nicole.  
Nicole's mom tells them to sit in the living room so they go sit on the couch and Harry looks like he's going to poo himself and Nicole is holding his hand and trying not to laugh at how nervous he is.

Everyone gathers in the living room and they start talking, conversation flowing easily.  
Harry finds himself laughing at all of the silly things he's hearing about Nicole, and the dynamic between her, her mother and sister is great, they all laugh at each other and poke fun just like best friends.  
"So has your dad realized that Harry's in a band?" Nicole laughs as her mom asks the question.  
"I've told him before, but I think he's still a bit in the dark as to Harry being on the radio all the time… Harry didn't introduce himself like, "Hi, I'm Harry Styles from the internationally known boy band One Direction… here let me serenade you!" They all laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.  
"Well now that you put it that way I wish I had. He'd probably be more impressed." Nicole laughs with her mom and sister while playing with Harry's fingers absentmindedly.

They end up heading out a bit early because they're both tired and have to drive back to Minneapolis tomorrow for Harry's show and then Nicole will have to drive back in the morning by herself because Harry leaves right after the show for Kansas City and then doesn't stop touring for five months after that, ending in Japan.

They get back to Nicole's place and immediately get ready for bed, showering and then crawling in under the duvet together.

 

And then it's five months apart.  
Five months of Harry on tour and Nicole moving to a new country and starting at a new school. It's five months of texting when they can spare the time, calling when the time zones aren't completely messing with their sleeping schedules and five months of missing the other so badly it pains them.  
Nicole is fairly unbothered in London, Harry's house is in a pretty low key place and it's close to her university so walking to and from isn't any big feat. She's been followed by paparazzi a few times, but once they realize that she's not going to do anything stupid or be mean to them they back off and snap a few pictures before they say goodbye and leave.  
Harry sees her in magazines sometimes, ever since the photos from the photo-shoot they did hit the internet tons of people wanted a story or something to report on. They wanted her to do shoots for products and celebrities and clothing lines, but she was picking and choosing carefully, picking small clothing lines, very few celebrities who aren't too well known, and no products.  
Harry is always asking her what she's doing next and she tends to always say, "I dunno." Because she waits forever to decide what she'll pick up. He loves that she's doing well and adjusting, although she doesn't talk about much other than school and the work she does and she seems okay, but he still has his worries for her.  
And he's right to worry, because two weeks before Harry's scheduled to come home he gets a call from a panicking Nicole.

Harry's in the dressing room, fifteen minutes before he's supposed to be on stage and his phone is ringing.  
"Hey Nic, what's up?"  
"Harry?" Nicole practically whimpers his name into the phone and Harry is immediately in care-taker mode, shushing the boys around him so he can focus on what Nicole's saying.  
"Yeah babe, I'm here. What's wrong?"  
"Harry, I don't think I can do this." Her voice breaks as she lets out a choked cry.  
"Do what? Nic, you've got to calm down. What can't you do?"  
"I'm sorry." She says, taking a shaky breath, "I don't think I can live in London, Harry. It's too much."  
Harry's heart clenches at her words, "Don't be sorry. It's okay, love. Why do you think you can't live there? Did something happen?"  
"N-no. Nothing happened. It's just… I don't know anyone, I don't go anywhere because I don't want to get lost and I don't have any friends besides Ed when he's around… which isn't very often. And I just… I dunno. I should be used to being alone, I was always by myself before, but now… now I'm alone and I don't know where to go if I want to get out of the house and I don't have anyone to just talk to and I-I'm…"  
"Babe, just breathe, it's going to be okay. Just calm down, shhh." Harry soothes the best he can through the phone, all of the boys looking over at him worriedly.  
"It's less than two weeks until I get to come home, and then we'll talk more okay? We can go back to Minnesota for a bit if you want, do you want to do that?"  
Nicole lets out a whimper, "Ye-yeah."  
"Okay, then we'll do that. Can you hang in there until I get home? Are you going to be okay?"  
Harry hears her take a shuddery breath, "I can. I'll be okay."  
"Good, good girl. You're doing so good, you know that? I'm so so proud of you, Nicole. I promise I'll make it better when I get home. I'm sorry I'm not there right now, I love you, babe. I love you so much."  
"I love you too, Harry."  
"Babe, I have to go, I'm sorry. I'll call you soon. Text me if you need me and I'll do whatever I have to to call you, okay? Promise me you'll let me know if you're not feeling good?"  
"It's okay. I promise. Thank you."  
"No problem at all, Love. I love you."  
"I love you too."

After the phone call Harry had to go right on stage to perform. The entire time his mind was reeling, worried about Nicole because he knew that if she was stressed out she was probably not eating properly and he hated the image that kept popping into his head of her just being so thin she was breakable. He feared returning home and finding her to be ill. It's not that he didn't trust her to take care of herself, it was just that he was still unsure of how much she could handle. He knew she was strong and had a lot of self confidence when it came to certain things, but he worried because he did know that she was once sick and unable to cope with things, he knew she wasn't 'fixed' and she never would be, her struggles were things she had to deal with every single day and Harry knew that sometimes the smallest of things can break you down the most.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished it! Wootz!

A little under two weeks and Harry was returning home to London from Japan. It had been a long, grueling tour with very little down time. He was so happy to be going home to see his family again and see his friends, but mostly he was excited to get to his house and have Nicole be there to greet him at the door. It'd be the first time it'd ever happen, he hadn't seen her in five months, he was fed up with distance and he was elated to be able to see her again and maybe a bit nervous because he didn't want to see that she'd lost weight or gotten sick again.

Unfortunately Nicole was unable to meet the boys at the airport, security was worried about the crowds because they would be at Heathrow and there was usually a massive crowd there when the boys arrived, but being as they have been away for many months, the fans would be overwhelming and it was planned and seen as best for Nicole to stay home and avoid the throngs of fans.

So Harry arrived at the airport with the rest of the boys and they all got dropped off at their separate homes. Harry lugged his bags to his house, and found the door to be locked to his surprise, because maybe Nicole wouldn't be home.

But she was. Harry entered the house, getting all his things inside as well, he heard the sound of Nicole mumbling to herself from in the kitchen and he could smell something cooking.

"Nic?" Harry calls from the front door, immediately hearing the quiet voice stop mumbling, the sounds of pots moving and then Nicole's little feet padding along the floors quickly.  
She rounds the corner a bit too quickly, skidding a little in her socks and hurries toward Harry.  
Harry opens his arms to her and lets her fall into him, her arms wrapping around his neck, his holding her tightly around the waist.  
"Hi." She breathes close to his ear, her head tucked up on his shoulder, even on tip toes she's struggling to keep her placement so Harry bends a bit so her feet are flat to the ground.  
"Hey, babe." Harry pulls back, only to kiss her on the lips. He can't help it that he's a bit desperate, his lips moving more roughly than they normally would, his fingers pressing into her hips, his tongue licking into her mouth, wanting, needing to be close to her again, needing the intimacy and the hunger he felt to have her tongue rolling against his was immense and she gave him what he wanted and he took and took and took until he was panting and had to pull away.  
"Quite the greeting that was." Nicole smirks and pecks him on the lips again.  
"I've missed you a lot." Harry says, looking closely at Nicole, taking the time to look her over, memorize her again and even though he'd hate to admit it, check to make sure she's no thinner than before, to make sure her clothes fit the same and her cheeks aren't sunken in like they had been in the picture he'd hated since his last time in Cheshire.  
"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
"You're just… you're beautiful." Harry watches as Nicole ducks under the compliment, like she hides from the niceness she's still not completely used to, her cheeks flushing and her shy side showing even more.  
"I'm making dinner…" Harry smiles at her changing of the subject.  
"I'm going to put my things in the bedroom and I'll be out." Nicole nods and they pull away from each other, separating into different spaces as Nicole reaches the kitchen.

Harry puts all his bags in the bedroom that is now half Nicole's and he feels more at home in his house then he ever had, the smells are now both his and hers, the food in the kitchen wafting through the house, the scent of Nicole's rainy perfume and lavender body wash still at the forefront of his mind like he's carrying it around and afraid to forget it.  
He takes note that in their now shared bedroom a book lies on the bedside table on the right side of the bed, and when he pulls his drawers open on his dresser the shirts he left behind while on tour are all neatly folded and color coordinated, his socks are still in the paired up little balls, his underwear are still folded and arranged by color as well. His closet is the same, his blazers all organized and hung by color and brand, his shirts the same way as well as organized by sleeve length and whether it's a casual button up or dressy button up. He can't help but smile at all of the little changes, he knows that Nicole didn't organize because she felt she had to or because she has some serious OCD condition, it's just that she wasn't leaving the house and needed something to do to fill the days. She's mentioned she spent nearly a week organizing things to a stupid degree during the off-time she had from school and work.  
She had also arranged his books chronologically by author, title as well as size. His movies were arranged chronologically as well, along with his records and albums. It nearly made him laugh as he looked around his house more, seeing the little hints that 'Nicole was here' and took extra time to admire the things she'd organized so specifically.

Harry did notice as well that Nicole hadn't placed any of her clothes in the closet, her duffel bag and suit cases were set up against the same wall as his dresser and while they were all neat and nothing was strewn about, it still unnerved him. 

Harry decides to stop his wandering and goes back to Nicole in the kitchen where she's found to be humming to herself.  
"Oh my god," Harry says as he realizes what Nicole has been preparing all this time, "You made Toad in a Hole? You're the best girlfriend in the world!" He wraps his arms around Nicole, his chest pressed against her back as she dishes out the meal onto plates for the two of them.  
"I wanted to make your favorite… I've never made it before, so I'll apologize in advance if it's not up to par."  
"It's the thought that counts, and i'm sure it'll be great. Thank you, Love." Harry kisses her cheek before removing himself from Nicole to help her carry the plates to the table. 

Harry is more than pleased when he realizes that Nicole is actually sitting down with him and eating the food on her plate, albeit slowly and she doesn't have nearly as much on her plate as he does, but she's eating and that's what matters. 

Nicole asks him about his flight and the tour as they eat and Harry feels the weight of the domestication they've settled into and he doesn't mind it one bit, he's honestly so chuffed at the mere thought of their relationship he could write a million songs about it.

"So, how are you doing?" Harry asks, shifting the focus onto Nicole.  
"Good." She lies, and she'd be believable if Harry wouldn't have caught the defying flash of her eyes as she'd said the small word.  
"You don't have to pretend, Nic. Please just tell me how you're really doing."  
She sighs and pushes her plate away, half the food still on it and Harry flicks his eyes from the half full plate that will remain unfinished and then to Nicole.  
"I'm… actually, I've been not the greatest. As you know… but, I'm okay. I've just been alone and after five months I was just like… I spent so much time thinking about how far I was from my family and 'what if this wasn't the right choice?' I was just so afraid something would happen and send me spiraling down because I was starting to feel the way I did when I was sick, I was scared… still am I guess. But I'm better now. I've been out a few times and I started going to this little book store slash cafe place and the guy that manages the shop told me he'd hire me because I was there so much, but I dunno, I said I didn't need a job because I've got my photography stuff and so I just kind volunteer there I guess? Like I just go in whenever I need to not be alone and they've taught me how to make all the coffee's and teas and pastries and I get to recommend books to the customers and it's fun, so I've been okay since then."  
Harry does what he can to be happy because she's smiling a bit and seems alright, but the mention of 'the guy that manages…' has got his inner jealous asshole raging like a possessive jerk of guy and he's doing what he can to not let it show.  
But then… "Who is the manager?" Harry asks, his voice tight and hands gripping his thighs under the table.  
Nicole catches the strain in Harry's voice along with the vein on his neck that's making a prominent appearance, looking like he's going to explode even though his face is fairly unbothered, his jaw is clenched though and she knows the thoughts in his head without having to ask.  
"Just a guy, babe." She says as she scoots her chair back and walks over to Harry's chair as he instinctively scoots his back and turns toward her as she approaches.  
"No need get all jealous." She smirks as she practically climbs onto his lap and straddles him. "He's not you, so why would I even think about him?" Harry smiles at that, feeling good under the compliment.  
"And what about me is keeping you around, darling?" Harry asks, trying not to seem needy but needing to hear the reasons Nicole loves him at the same time.  
"That's a long list, sweetheart." Nicole smiles as she runs her fingers through Harry's hair, watching his face as his cheeks flush from the pet name.  
"How? I'm barely even around, our relationship isn't exactly conventional." Harry closes his eyes but presses into the small hand that's come to cup his cheek.  
"You say it as if I'm unaware. Harry, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. I absolutely love you, okay? I know you're not around all the time, but that's because it's your job, you're doing what you love. I knew you'd be away a lot and half way around the world at times, but I'm here despite that. I love you and stay with you because you're an amazing man. I love you because you're quirky and intelligent, you're funny and talented and so so beautiful. Did you know that before I even knew you were Harry Styles of One Direction, I thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life? When you put me in your car and put your arm around me to warm me up I immediately felt safe and warm and knew you were good. I love you because of how beautiful you are inside and out, you love your family and friends so much, and you're always nice and polite and never ever bad mouth people, even when they've done it to you. I've been through a lot of bad in my life, and I know what's good, and I know you're good. I know that if I were to walk away because we don't get to spend every second together I'd be incredibly stupid. I'd be missing out on the greatest person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I love you and I'm not going anywhere, do you trust me on that?"  
Harry nods with watery eyes, "Yes. Thank you."  
"Of course." Nicole pecks a light kiss to Harry's lips and pulls away slowly.  
"I love you." Harry says shyly, as if Nicole won't say it back even though she'd just said it moments ago.  
"I love you too. Now, would you like it if I ran you a bath so you can relax a bit?"  
Harry nods, suddenly looking vulnerable like he's just not got his confidence in him like usual.  
"Alright, c'mon then, Love."  
Nicole lifts herself from Harry's lap and takes his hand to lead him into the bathroom.

Nicole runs the bath and makes sure it's warm enough to relax him but not scald his skin and pours a bit of bubble bath in as well.  
Harry just watches her as he sits on the counter and waits, feeling oddly young like he used to when his mother would punish him for being bad to his sister or not doing his chores, he figures it's because he's carrying around the guilt of leaving Nicole on her own so much and not feeling like a proper boyfriend to her.

"You can get in. I'll let you be." Nicole kisses his cheek before he hops down from the counter top.  
"Could I ask you to stay?" Harry's voice is so shy and weary that Nicole's heart constricts in her chest, shocked by his change in demeanor but not daring to mention it or leave him if he didn't want her to.  
"Yeah. Go on and get in the tub." Nicole makes sure to use a softer tone, careful of the way she speaks to him now that he's let his 'everything is okay and I'm absolutely fine' act diminish.

Harry undresses himself slowly, pulling off his jumper and shirt first, then trousers and pants. Nicole watches him as she steps into the tub and sits himself in the hot water, unbothered and unfazed by his lack in clothing. The situation isn't sexual or leading to anything of that sort, Harry just needs her and needs to be taken care of right now and that's all she cares about.  
She takes the chair Harry has in the corner of the bathroom and places it next to the tub and Harry watches her with a small smile.  
Nicole dunks a washcloth into the tub and applies Harry's body wash to it, then runs it over his shoulders and back, takes each arm and washes it, runs it over his chest and stomach, delving her forearm under the water to clean him as he keeps his eyes closed and leans his head back letting Nicole maneuver his limbs as necessary.  
Nicole carefully puts his head under the faucet and wets his hair, squirts shampoo onto her hand and washes his hair, taking extra time to massage his scalp the way he likes, only to wash the suds out and replace them with conditioner and resuming the massage.  
After Nicole gets Harry all cleaned up and rinsed free of suds she pulls the plug from the drain and instructs Harry to get up, wrapping him in a towel and letting him step out. She towel dries his hair and then takes him to their bedroom.  
She gets him some underwear and has him slip them on and he listens, still a little distant and in his head. Nicole has him lie on the bed and covers him with the duvet, climbing in after him after she slips out of her day clothes and down to just underwear and her usual sleep-time henley. Harry immediately cuddles up to her, resting his head on her chest and taking one of her hands and placing it to his hair so she'll touch it the way she does and he tangles their legs together, wraps an arm around her waist and closes his eyes as he feels her fingers start to move through his damp hair.  
Nicole speaks in a hushed voice, her tone soft and gentle as she tells Harry how much she loves him, how great he is and how she's so very proud of him and all that he's done. Harry listens to her soft voice, needing the praise and attention after being without it for so long.  
He thinks of how he'd been okay before, the fans he'd meet would reassure him that he was good and loved, but now it's not enough, because most of those people are strangers and he knows one day he'll be less important to them. He now needs Nicole's attention and love and kind words to make him feel like he's good and loved. He needs it because she's what matters now.  
He thinks that it should be Nicole receiving the praise and attention after her insecurity about being in a new country, that she should be the one needing Harry and not Harry needing her. But at the same time he's glad that she's taking care of him, she'd cooked his favorite meal, assured him of her love, bathed him, and now she is once again assuring him of her love and commitment and praising him and knowing exactly what he needs without having to ask.  
Harry lets himself detach from all of the whirling thoughts in his head and the guilt he's been feeling for weeks now and takes the moment to realize just how in love he is. How absolutely head over heels he's become. He feels so overwhelmed by the love he's receiving without even being kissed or touched sexually that his breath catches in his throat for a second. He's never felt so safe and secure with anyone in his life… aside from his mother when he was child maybe.  
"I love you, please know that I love you." He says, holding onto Nicole's hip a bit tighter and curling up closer to her, if that was even possible.  
"I know you do. I love you too, Harry. Go to sleep now. I'll be right here when you wake up." Harry feels the press of her lips on his hair so he presses a kiss to her collar bone and lets himself let go of everything bothering him and fall into sleep with the girl he loves close to him for the first time in months.


	15. Chapter 15

A few days pass with a little work on Harry's end, stopping in at radio stations and visiting the studio with the boys for press and things. On Nicole's end she's trying to make sure Harry's okay, after seeing him so vulnerable she's been quite worried and has done all she can to make sure he's alright.  
And he's noticed of course, she's always got lunch or dinner ready for him when he comes home, asks him what he'd like to wear the next day and sets it out for him, they watch only his favorite shows and movies, she's there to rub his shoulders after a long day and kiss him to let him know he's loved. Harry notices all of the little things she does, the times she'll text him just to ask how he's doing, what he'd like for dinner, to tell him she loves him. Harry can't even be bothered by it either, because he needs it. If anything he's bothered by how easy she can read him, he feels like glass when they're together because there isn't a thing he can hide from her… not that he'd want to. 

To make it up to her Harry decides that since he has to go to an awards banquet tonight he'll bring Nicole as well, so he pops out of the house for a bit to find a dress for Nicole to wear and pick something up for himself as well.  
Harry's a bit unsure of what to get for Nicole, he's never seen her in a dress but knows she's got at least one because that was the only thing hanging in his closet of hers.  
Judging for her other clothes Harry picks out a strapless black dress with a bit of a sparkle to it and decides that because he's learned that she's not fond of having people stare at her tattooed arms he'll get her a jacket, a stylish motor-cycle jacket with studs, he knows she has one like it already, but this one is lighter and he really just wants to get her things whether she needs them or not.  
Where Nicole is a bit more edgy, Harry is a bit more posh so matching is a bit hard, so he just ends up with an ensemble from Burberry, a black suit jacket and black skinny jeans and a white button down.  
So they aren't really matching but, he supposes that both of them wearing black is good enough.

Harry gets home and hears Nicole puttering about somewhere in the house and so he lays the new outfits he's just got on the back of the sofa in the living room and goes to find her.  
She's in their bedroom, putting some of Harry's laundry away in his dresser, he leans against the door frame and watches her for a minute before he announces his presence. She's so much quieter when she's on her own and while it's always interesting to watch her when she's unaware that someone is there, Harry clears his throat as subtly as possible.  
"Hey." He greets with a smile as Nicole turns to see him.  
"Hi, you were out for a bit… were you with the boys?"  
"No. It was a personal errand." Nicole smiles softly and turns away to place some socks into the top draw of Harry's dresser.  
"Are you home for the rest of the day then?"  
"For the day… I've got that awards banquet later tonight though." Nicole flicks her eyes to Harry and away again, putting more clothes into his drawers, all neatly folded and organized.  
Harry sees the disappointment on her face, they don't get to spend many full days together, mostly just nights and a small portion of their mornings. He walks over to her and presses himself against her back, circling his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.  
"Could I show you something?' Nicole turns her head a little, able so see the small smile on Harry's lips out of the corner of her eye.  
"Okay." Harry steps back and grabs her hand to lead her into the living room.  
"I wanted to do something for you because you've been really amazing since I've gotten home… I haven't properly thanked you for taking care of me the way you do." Nicole stops walking, not even to the living room yet.  
"You don't have to thank me, or make it up to me if that's what this is… Harry, I do those things because I want to. I don't do them because I think I should or I'm expected to, you know that right?"  
Harry feels his cheeks warm, once again she can read him without even asking a question. "I know. But I do need to thank you, because you don't have to do them, and I do appreciate the things you do. I came home and was a mess, I mean… you literally bathed me and didn't bat an eyelash over it. Most people would've left me, assumed I was okay to be on my own because I'm nineteen and shouldn't have the insecurities that I do have. But you stayed and you took care of me, you always take care of me. You don't have to ask what I need or want, you just know, you're there when I need you and keep distance when I need space and you don't even have to ask which one I want… So I do need to thank you. Because no one else would do what you do and be what you are to me, and I wouldn't want anyone else to take that place either."  
Nicole's cheeks are a bit pink over Harry's words, she's always so bashful over compliments and tends get pink cheeked whenever Harry kisses her on the cheek and says he loves her before he leaves for the day.  
"Now can I show you?" Nicole just nods, not knowing how to reply after Harry's confession.

Harry brings Nicole into the living room where she sees the protective bags covering the outfits Harry had gotten.  
"What are these for?" Nicole asks, unzipping Harry's bag with his suit inside first.  
"Well, the suit is for me." Harry laughs and Nicole nudges him in the side. "Damn, I look fantastic with shoulder pads." Harry barks a laugh and presses a kiss to her cheek once he's got himself controlled.  
"I hope you like yours… I've never seen you in a dress, so I was a bit unsure of what to get." Nicole's eyes widen at him, "Dress? You got me a dress?" Harry smirks at her, "Yeah. Open it."  
Nicole goes for it, unzipping the bag with her dress inside slowly, "It's… you did a good job."  
"Will you go to the banquet with me then?" Harry asks, realizing that he was nervous about her answer.  
"…Yeah. I'll go." Harry smiles goofily over it, excited about bringing Nicole to the event and getting to introduce her to a bunch of his friends, and frankly he loved the idea of showing her off.  
"Great. I've got to hop in the shower and we'll leave before five." Nicole nods, and brings her and Harry's dressing bags to their bedroom so she can hang them to avoid wrinkles.

Harry is already in the shower with suds still in his hair when Nicole runs in excitedly, "HARRY!" She exclaims as she pulls the shower door open, uncaring of the water still running or that he's completely naked.  
Harry nearly falls down at the surprise of her being there and looks at her worriedly with big eyes and a serious face.  
"Are you alright?" Harry asks concerned.  
"Yes. I'm fantastic. I just saw the jacket… I LOVE IT!" She grabs Harry's face in her hands and kisses him, not even minding that he's got a bit of shampoo in his hair or that he's soaking wet and his hair is dripping on her.  
"I'm going to have to buy you more jackets if this is how you react." Harry laughs as Nicole pulls away and actually realizes that she's kissing a very wet and very naked Harry.  
"Oh.. oops. Uh… sorry for interrupting, continue on." She shuts the door of the shower and leaves the bathroom feeling quite silly.

When Harry finishes his shower he pops into their bedroom with a towel slung low on his hips and his hair still dripping a bit onto his shoulders and down his neck, he smiles at Nicole as he enters and sees she's she's got her hair curled, looser than her natural curls, softer and all put together and going the same way, where as her natural curls are a bit messy and wild… although Harry prefers them most of the time.  
"Your hair looks nice." He comments, seeing her smile brighten and he catches a glimpse of her small white teeth that tend to only make such an appearance when she's really happy or excited.  
"Thanks." She says, ducking her head a bit afterwards and shying away as she almost always does after being complimented.

Harry dries himself a bit more and slips some underwear on, socks and then dresses in his button down, suit jacket and black skinny jeans. He blow dries his hair and it ends up in a quiff, standing up tall in the front and Nicole gapes at him when she sees him all dressed and ready to go.  
"It's a good thing I'm going with you tonight or I'd spend the entire night being jealous of everyone who gets to look at you." Harry smiles goofily, pleased that Nicole thinks he looks good.

Nicole puts her dress on and Harry zips her up, and then she slips her jacket on over it, picking a pair of black boots that just meet her ankle with a five inch heel she's hoping to God she won't trip in. Her make up is light as usual, her lips the only thing that's bright about her outfit, painted a bright red and her glasses are changed from the larger black rimmed frames to the smaller ones she rarely wears.  
Harry looks at her and nearly lets his jaw hit the floor, he's never seen her in a dress, or this dressed up since they've been together and he's a bit upset over that because she looks fantastic. He's proud of himself for his choosing her outfit. The dress shows off her curves and for the first time Harry sees just how much cleavage she's got to show off, and wow, he's having a hard time keeping his eyes off that area. The dress shows her hour-glass figure and the shoes make her so much taller than he's used to and she bends down to grab something by the bed and Harry's got his eyes practically bulging out of his head at the sight in front of him, her bum in the air and legs barely bent and he thinks she looks like she's about to give someone a strip tease, then shakes the thought because 'Harry that's not very gentlemanly of you' he thinks.  
Nicole stands up again with a pair of beat up black Converse in her hand, "There is no way I'm wearing five inch heels all night. You'd be carrying me around half way through the night." Harry laughs and can't help the smile of pure adoration he's got on his face. He loves how Nicole is still the girl he met all those months ago, the girl who just doesn't give a rats ass about how people are looking at her or what they have to say as long as she's happy and secure with herself. He loves that she is still one hundred percent who she is and hasn't changed herself for anyone, not even him.  
"I would carry you around the entire night if you asked me to." Nicole laughs and blushes like a school girl, "I appreciate that, Love." Nicole steps closer to him, sorting some of his curls out and then unable to keep her hands to herself, she runs them through his hair. He looks good, he's beautiful to her. With his hair in a quiff she can see his face so much better and she loves that. She thinks she could stare at him forever, watch his facial expressions and his mannerisms, the way he talks, the way he shakes his hair out and then coughs, only to return back to whatever he's supposed to be focused on… she loves so much about him it's difficult for even her to comprehend.  
Nicole doesn't even have to rise onto her tippy toes to kiss him this time, the heels rising her up further than she'd ever be able to on her own. Harry smiles into the kiss, knowing just how pleased she is that she finally got to do the work rather than having him bend down to her height.  
They kiss slow and sweet, there's no rush. Harry loves kissing her, she's got soft full lips and she never goes too fast or too slow, she always knows just how to kiss him. Knows when to speed up or calm it down and Harry kind of thinks she could be a mind reader because she can read him so well, but mostly he's just so pleased that he's found her and that she loves him just as much as he loves her.


	16. Chapter 16

The awards banquet turns out to be quite large, lots of celebrities and paparazzi and interviewers standing by as they walk along the red carpet that's been rolled out.  
Surprisingly Nicole gets asked for a few interviews as they make their way across the red carpet. The interviewers ask about her recent photo-shoots, if she'll be moving on to do something on a larger scale, and if there will be anymore shoots with One Direction.  
"I'm not trying to get my photos into magazines or anything like that, I don't do it for the publicity… I never wanted photography to be a job, because then it's work and it's always been a fun thing for me, something I enjoy doing. I've not thought about doing anything too much bigger than I am right now. I'm happy with what I have going right now."  
"I've heard that you don't or won't work with highly publicized celebrities although you've been asked to, why is that?"  
"That's not really true. I mean, I did a shoot with Harry and the boys and they're always in the news for something. I'd do work for a well-known celebrities again but, with the prospect of sounding a bit snooty, I refuse to work with people or companies I don't believe in. I don't want to endorse or make it seem like I stand by a company or an artist that stands by something I don't. I'm not concerned with money or how much they're willing to pay, I want to put my efforts toward people who deserve it. I just want to get the right people recognition while I'm doing this, because I won't do it forever… not in the way I'm doing it now.  
"Can we expect any more photos of your man and his bandmates?" Nicole chuckles and hopes she's surprising her warm cheeks.  
"I can't say for sure. Nothing is planned right now, so it could happen, but I can't assure you of anything… It'd be lovely to work with all of them again, it was quite fun the last time." Nicole glances to Harry to see him smirking cockily to himself and his grip on her waist tightens.  
"Alright, thank you for your time Nicole. Have a lovely night."  
"Thank you. You have a nice night as well." She smiles and Harry guides her further down the line as they stop two more times to do quick interviews together, half for Harry and the band and half for Nicole and her work… relationship questions are asked, but not annoying, they're happy to be there together and it's quite obvious to everyone around them.

 

The awards were quite standard, corny banter between presenters, lots of free alcohol on each table, lots of famous faces and a few performances by nominees.  
Harry and the boys were not preforming though, one of the rare times they went to an event and weren't required to put on a show, so they were finding a fondness in the booze.  
Nicole had never been around Harry when he'd been drinking, but as it turns out Harry is quite the talkative drunk. He's also very happy and silly and cuddly.  
Nearing the end of the awards show Harry was whispering into Nicole's ear about how stupid some of the dresses the girls wore were, and making little jokes that he found to be hilarious and Nicole could tell he was pretty intoxicated by that point.

Harry insisted on attending an after party as well, his giggling and stumbling only worsening as time went by. Luckily one of Harry's close friends, Nick Grimshaw had more of a tolerance for alcohol and helped Nicole with him. After two hours and multiple drinks on Harry's end, Nicole managed to get Harry into a car and home safely.

Harry giggled and stumbled his way into the house, pressing a finger to his lips and going "Shhhh" to Nicole as she walked close behind him to pick him up if he fell. Harry went straight to the bedroom, took his jacket off and fell over onto the bed. Nicole knew he was tired, he'd been yawning in the car and had become increasingly cuddly as they got nearer to their home.

"Alright, c'mon, sit up for me." Nicole tugged on one of Harry's arms to pull him into a sitting position on the bed and Harry flung forward, slouching tiredly.  
She unbuttoned his shirt for him and slipped it off his arms, pushed him back down on the bed and he giggled to himself, unaware of what was even happening. Nicole unbuttoned his jeans and slipped them off his legs and somehow managed to get the lanky boy into the bathroom to wash him up before bed because he smelled like alcohol and she was not going to share a bed with that smell no matter how much she loved him.

"Okay, sit here and wait." She guided the dazed boy into a chair and went to ready the bath.  
She let it get half full and then slipped Harry's underwear off and had him get into the tub, he sat down in the water and then quickly looked to Nicole, eyes wide and concerned, "You can see my private bits!" Harry quickly covered himself with his hands under the water, which was free of bubble bath this time.  
"Nothing I haven't seen before, sweetheart." Harry's eyes soften and he nods, like he remembers she's right. Nicole slips her jacket off and gets her dress unzipped and removed before she goes to wash Harry up any more.

So there they sit, Nicole washing Harry's hair and trying to get rid of the boozy scent that had clung to him after the party, Nicole in just her bra and panties as she rinses his hair free of suds and he looks like he's about to fall asleep in the tub.  
Nicole finishes before he has a chance to put himself into drunken slumber and has him wrapped up in a towel and scuddling off to the bedroom without too much trouble… until he gets a bit crabby over having to put his underwear on and straight up refuses, so Nicole ends up drying him off, toweling his hair until it's not dripping anymore and lets him be, covering him with the sheets and duvet and he's asleep before she's even got herself to the other side of the room.  
She showers quickly, ridding herself of the secondhand booze-stench and gets herself ready for bed as well. She slips in next to Harry, tugging the covers over her way because Harry's hogging them and she's asleep quite quickly as well.

 

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Morning comes and Harry grumbles as he awakens to the sunlight turning the darkness behind his eyelids to an obnoxious red color.  
He reaches over, searching for the body he's been used to waking up next to, only to find an empty space and cool sheets.  
He pushes the blankets off of his body and stands, stretches and then… then he realizes he's naked and that he's never ever slept naked with Nicole before. And he's got the worry in his head that _'Oh my god, we had sex and I was wasted… I don't even remember. shitshitshitshit!'_

He makes his way out of the bedroom after slipping a pair of underwear on, he hears Nicole in the kitchen and when he sees her he's got the heaviest guilty feeling in his stomach and thinks he's going to throw up. It doesn't help that Nicole is singing quietly to herself, moving around to the tune in her head as she prepares breakfast for the two of them.  
She turns around and sees Harry there, and she smiles at him fondly, "Hey. How're you feeling?"  
"I woke up naked." Harry blurts, going red immediately and realizing how awful of a person he is.  
Nicole laughs, "Yeah… last night you refused to let me put underwear on you after your bath." Harry's face darkens further, throughly embarrassed of himself.  
"I'm sorry. …I don't remember taking a bath." Nicole laughs again.  
"Not hard to believe. You were spectacularly drunk." Harry manages a laugh, but it's the embarrassed kind and it shows.  
"I'm sorry. I feel like a prick, it was supposed to be a night out for you, not me. …How do you not have hangover?"  
Nicole laughs again, "You're not a prick, you're of age and you can drink if you like. I had fun, but I don't drink. I thought you knew that… but yeah, I don't drink and never have." Harry's eyes kind of widen, he didn't know and she had never told him… but seeing as how they'd never been in a situation where alcohol had come up or been offered there wasn't much reason to talk about it.  
"Is it a problem that I don't drink?" Nicole tilts her head a bit to the right as she looks at Harry.  
"No. Of course not. I just… I honestly don't know anyone our age who doesn't drink… even Liam drank when his kidney's were a mess."  
"Yeah, I know. My lack in alcohol consumption kind of inhibited by ability to socialize in high school… the drinking age may be 21 in the U.S. but it still hindered my ability to be friends with a lot of people. I've never drank because I never had friends that did, and I've never been to a proper high school or college party before. When everyone else was getting into the drinking scene my parents were getting divorced and my mom was going pretty heavy on the booze, and I saw what it did to her and it kind of halted any interest I'd ever had in drinking. So, yeah. Sober and abstinent since birth." She does a slightly self deprecating fist pump with a smile at Harry who looks a bit caught off guard and wow, who knew Nicole would be _this_ pure.  
"I have to say that you are definitely the most interesting person I've ever known. Not many people get to be our age and say they've never had a drop of alcohol." Nicole chuckles lightly and spins around in her socks and breaks into a silly dance while singing "I'm bringing sober back" in the tune of "I'm Bringing Sexy Back." Harry laughs at her and takes her hand and spins her around.  
Harry's hangover is surprisingly not too terrible and now an after-thought as he dances with Nicole in their kitchen.

 

A few hours later the pair find themselves on the sofa watching Friends with Benefits, Nicole's got Harry's head on her chest and their legs tangled together, and they're both feeling quite cuddly today, wanting to do nothing more than hang out together for the day.  
A scene comes on where Justin Timberlake gets out of bed completely nude and Mila makes a comment about it and it has Harry thinking about himself and Nicole as of late.  
He realizes that Nicole has seen him naked multiple times now and has never had an issue with it, she's literally washed every part of him before, the nudity seems to be no problem for her and he's never seen her react to him walking around in just a towel or his underwear before. It gets him wondering about why it's not a problem for her or why she seems unfazed by it. He's also wondering why if his nakedness is no issue then why is hers? Not that she's ever hidden from him, she's walked around in a towel before or in her underwear and a bra while changing in their bedroom. 

"How come you don't care if you see me naked?" Harry asks, tilting his head up so he can see Nicole a little.  
"What?" She asks, looking down at him her hands stopping their movements in his hair, "Where did that come from?" She brushes his hair back off his forehead and watches his face intently.  
"I was just wondering because you've obviously seen me naked loads of times and you just don't seem to care… like you don't even blush like most girls would… even _I_ blush when I see you in just a towel. You don't even bat an eyelash when we're making out and I end up with a boner. Do you not like… er, do you not want to have sex with me? Or am I not attractive to you?" Harry's questions nearly get stuck in his throat as he feels a lump form, along with the realization of how concerned he actually was about this topic.  
"What? No no no. Harry, I love you okay? I am so in love with you and everything you do that it literally hurts sometimes. You being naked doesn't bother me because it's you… I'm comfortable with you and your body, I think you're beautiful and breathtaking, you're so so beautiful to me. It's not your lack in clothing that makes me think that either, it's not just what you've got under your clothes that makes me think you're sexy and cute and God, when I say you're beautiful I mean it. I may not blush over seeing you without pants on, but I do blush and turn into a school girl with a petty crush over other things. And I don't bat an eyelash over you getting a hard on because I know that you don't have control over how your body reacts, believe me, the way your body reacts may be different, but I feel the same way, I just don't have the bulge to make it noticeable."  
"What do you blush over if not my nakedness?"  
"You don't always see me looking at you, and that's usually when I blush the most. I love watching you talk, the way your lips move, hearing your voice and the way it changes depending on how you feel about the topic at hand. When you shake your hair out and look up and you're biting your bottom lip. When you put your hand on my leg or well… just touch me, and I can see how big your hands are, and feel how strong you are, that gets me a bit flushed to be honest just like when your shirt rids up and I catch a glimpse of your little tattoo on your hip… and when you wake up in the morning and you've got sleepy eyes and a rough voice when you say good morning, or when we're just talking and you get really into what you're saying and use hand gestures and this passionate smile on your face because you know what you're talking about and it means a lot to you to be able to voice your thoughts. Those are the things that I find sexy and cute and beautiful about you. You have a gorgeous body and you're literally the most attractive person that I've ever seen in my entire life, but your mind is important too, and your mannerisms and the little things that just make you who you are. I love you because you're my Harry, not because you've got abs or curly hair."  
Harry's got a sappy smile on his face and soft adoring eyes as he hides his face by burying it in the crook Nicole's neck. She plays with his hair and massages his scalp, scratching with her fingernails just how he likes and he makes a little sound of contentment.  
"Thank you, for telling me that stuff. It's still hard to believe that I've got someone who sees me the way you do and loves me the way you do." Harry pulls himself up a bit so he's holding himself above Nicole, able to see her face as he hovers over her.  
"I wouldn't know how to see you any other way. It's how I feel and if you ever need to know how I feel you can just ask, especially if it's about you. There's no need for me to hide my feelings for you."  
Harry was satisfied with that, with her answers to his questions and reassured that she really did love him. He knew their relationship wasn't average or anything ordinary, he knew it never would be because of who he was and who Nicole was. But he didn't mind, not when she was the one playing with his hair and whispering things into his ear that made his cheeks feel warm and heart beat crazily in his chest. He loved her, undoubtedly. He loved her for all that she was and even the things she wasn't.  
So the two spend the rest of their evening lounging on the sofa together, anything that wasn't the other wasn't a priority. Nicole knew Harry needed her and she felt like she needed him too, so there they stayed, wrapped up in each other, paying more attention to the others breathing and heart beat than the television playing a drama series.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry for not updating sooner. I like to write a lot at one time rather than finish one chapter at a time, not sure why, but it helps my flow... I apologize for calling it flow.  
> Anyway, enjoy and know this is not beta'd or spell checked yet, I'll get to it, please be patient.

About a week later Harry is at the studio with the rest of the boys for a short meeting and Nicole is left to her own devices. She's been cooped up in the house aside from going to school for too long and decides to get out and maybe do some shopping and take some pictures of London.  
She finds herself in a small shop, browsing through some shirts on display and ends up with about four of them when she finishes.  
She can see the flashes before she's even out of the store and makes sure her camera strap is secure from where is hangs across and down her chest like that of a seat belt before even daring to exit, the bag carrying her new shirts clutched tightly in her hand as well.  
As it turns out, the masses outside of the shop are larger than she had estimated. Mostly fans, and not all of them seem to be supportive of her being who she is, shouting things at  
her and the paparazzi trying to push their way to snap a few photos don't help the situation either.  
Nicole had never been mobbed like this before, she'd had her fair share of paps when she'd first gotten to London, and usually more came around when Harry returned from business trips or tour, but this was almost scary… it was scary.  
Nicole was being lunged at and people were grabbing at her and her possessions and they'd never ever done that before so she was terrified.  
She was being pushed around a bit by some of the nastier girls trying to claw at her, get revenge or maybe just be spiteful, and she was so close to having a panic attack she could feel her heart racing and knew it was going to happen sooner than later.  
However, something happened sooner than the panic attack that was threatening to take hold of her. Instead she was pushed roughly as well as clawed at, resulting in the tearing of her plaid button up, the left sleeve ripping straight off as one girl clawed and the other pushed her onto the ground, her camera making a harsh clattering noise as is smacked against the pavement and an even worse crunching noise as it the lens was stepped on by someone else.  
And that was what it took for Nicole to break.  
She hefted herself up, her heart pounding with anger as she stood and threw her now demolished and unfixable camera (that she had paid thousands of dollars for) onto the ground.  
"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" She mumbled to herself as the image of the people in front of her became clear, all of them were waiting for a reaction out of her, a blow up, anything to put in a magazine or in an article on the internet.  
She collected herself quickly and approached one of the girls who had been involved with this mess, the girl that had ripped her shirt, she saw her face as she did it, she knew she had the right girl as she walked to her.  
"If you needed a shirt so badly, you could've asked your mother to buy you one. But here, have these since you're in such desperate need." She gently gave the bag containing what where supposed to be _her_ new shirts, into the other girls space and the girl grabbed them, more shocked than anything else.  
"Also, I hope you all can take pride in the thousands of dollars you've just destroyed… it's now lying on the pavement for you all to enjoy. Have a lovely evening, if you won't mind, I'd like to go home now." She clutched her purse in her hand and quickly walked away, getting as far away from the paparazzi and vicious 'fans' as she could before the panic took over and she just had to get home as fast as possible, so she ran until she got there.

Nicole burst into the house breathing heavy and feeling like she wasn't getting any oxygen at all as she tried to calm herself down.  
She couldn't get herself to stop crying, she was so upset and hurt and she was afraid now, even in her own home the images of what had just happened played over in her head making it impossible for her to calm herself.  
Harry was thankfully home by then. Hearing the door slam and he's rushed to the door right away because Nicole never slammed the doors.  
He was quick enough to find Nicole still standing right in front of the door, tears streaming down her cheeks, her breathing out of control and sobs ripping through her body- which was trembling quite visibly.  
"Nic, what happened? What happened to you? Are you hurt?" Harry quickly rushes toward her, pulling her into his arms and she drops her purse onto the ground and clings to him, her body shaking and sobs still coming from her, the sounds muffled by Harry's chest now, and her fingers clung to his t-shirt as she cried.  
"Babe, I don't know what happened, but I need you to calm down. Just breathe for me. You're okay now, I promise you. Shhh." Harry held her close and said all that he could until Nicole's breathing wasn't heaving her chest or making her even more breathless.  
"Alright, any better?" Harry asks as he runs his fingers through her soft wavy hair.  
Nicole makes a "mmm" sound with and nods against Harry's chest.  
"Babe, can you tell me what happened?" Nicole pulls away from Harry and looks up at him, her mascara running a little from her tears and her cheeks are pink and she looks so scared and small and hurt and Harry hates it, hates whoever did this to her, hates that she's hurting again and he wasn't there to prevent it from happening in the first place.  
Harry picks her up and lets her cling onto him like koala as he carries her to the sofa in the living room, even when he sits down she stays with him, moving only a little so he's more comfortable and she's resting against him rather than clinging to him for support.  
"What happened, Nic?" Harry looks at her carefully, not wanting to miss anything she gives away through facial expressions.  
"Fans… well, your fans. They didn't like me. I went out to take pictures and shop a little and I went into a shop and before I even got out there were lots of people outside, paps and fans. I dunno why they were being so mean, but everyone was so rough and one girl grabbed me and another pushed me and my sleeve ripped right off when I fell and my camera got destroyed. I- I just… I just left it there, it was so broken, someone even stepped on it, Harry. I don't- " She hiccups and sniffles as she buries her face in Harry's chest, fresh tears coming again, "I don't know how people can be so mean to someone they don't know."  
Harry can feel the warm wetness on his skin as her tears cascade down her face and he's got mixed feelings inside of him, there's the angry side that wants to destroy anyone who ever gets within five feet of Nicole and then there's the side of him that is too concerned about Nicole in this moment to do that. It's the side of him that holds the strongest urge to protect her and take care of her and make sure that she's got everything she needs at all times, that side is so powerful and so intense that it's actually a bit scary. He's also got the feeling that he's responsible for this, if she wasn't associated with him or the band she wouldn't have been hurt or mobbed or followed, she'd be safe and she wouldn't be crying and clinging to him right now.  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. This will never happen again, I swear to you. I'm not letting you go out on your own anymore… I know it's not what you want, but I can't risk you getting hurt. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Nicole." Harry holds her tight and clings her nearly as much as she clings to him.  
"S'okay. I don't want to go alone anymore." Harry's heart feels like it's being chiseled at as he hears how broken Nicole sounds, she just sounds defeated and tired and so heartbreakingly sad he's got tears in his eyes threatening to fall.  
"Can I get you anything babe? Do you need anything?"  
"Can I just take a bath, please?" Harry thinks she sounds like a child that's just had a bad first day of school now.  
"Of course, Love." Harry picks her up again and carries her into the bathroom, and this time it's him running the bath and sitting her on the chair they've kept there and used more often than they can remember… although it's always been Harry being placed in the chair or Nicole sitting in it as she washes his hair and cleans his body.  
Harry helps her get her ruined shirt off and goes to leave after that, to give her privacy and space, but she grabs his hand as he turns to the door to leave.  
"Please don't leave me." Harry sees the look on her face and can only nod, feeling the tightness in his throat and knowing the words would stick if he tried to speak.  
Harry takes the seat in the chair then and Nicole undresses, slow and tired like every movement is so much more effort that it'd usually be.  
Harry watches her, her shaky hands as the unbutton her jeans and slip them off, the way her muscles move under her skin as she unclasps her bra, the way she steps into the tub next to him and sits down in the water just as slow as all of her other movements and then he gets it… he understands why Nicole didn't bat an eyelash when she had bathed him the times she had, or seen him in a towel or his underwear all those times. It was his first time seeing her completely unclothed and it wasn't sexualized. He understood how Nicole could look at Harry the way she did and feel like his nudity wasn't linked to sex. Right now Nicole wasn't naked because they were going to have sex, she was bare in front of him and it was because she needed to be taken care of, it was Harry's turn to care for her in the way that she had multiple times before.  
It was the first time that Harry had seen the parts of her that were always covered in his presence, and he saw more scars on her legs and hips, and tattoos that concealed other ones. He saw her and she was beautiful. Harry thought she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, with her scars and tattoos and the pink little marks on her breasts where they'd gotten too big at a quick rate and stretched the skin a bit, he loved every bit of her, every scar and tattoo and everything that magazines would call an imperfection. He loved all of her so so much.

Harry took care of her then, as he always swore he would, he washed her hair, cleaned the makeup from her eyes and washed her skin with the lavender scented body wash he knew so well. It was his turn to lift her arms and cover them in soap, along with her legs and back and chest and stomach, every bit of her. He cleaned her and cared for her, dried her off and even brushed her hair. She dressed herself and then seemed to be at Harry's side right away after.  
They went to the sofa and flicked the television on, letting a rugby game play as they settled into one another and wound around the other, Harry keeping a tight hold on Nicole, making sure she was flush against him at all times. Harry focused more on combing him fingers through Nicole's damp hair and trying to get her to sleep than to the rugby game. And Nicole found comfort in Harry's closeness and touch and let both Harry and the rugby game distract her mind from the day she'd had and smiled inwardly at the screen because it was a rugby game and she knew Harry didn't really watch the game, but she'd liked it and gotten into it more as she lived in the UK and appreciated Harry's remembrance of that. 

They found themselves there the rest of the night, wrapped up in one another and more focused on the others breathing than anything else. Harry never wanted to leave her again after today, he hated the idea of her being hurt anymore than she already had been, he could not let it happen again.

"Would you like to go to Minnesota in a couple days?" Harry asks quietly as they hold onto each other on the sofa.  
"Yes. Please." Harry kisses her hair and shifts to make them even closer which even he had thought was impossible.  
"Thank you." She adds then, moving her arm to reach out so she can take Harry's hand in hers and fit her fingers between his.  
"Of course. I love you, Nic."  
"I love you too, Harry." Her grip tightens on his hand and he knows that the talking is done for now, Nicole is tired and even if she wasn't she would probably be quiet anyway. He's now able to read her moods quite well because they mirror his. He thinks it has to do with them both being Aquarius' and has even blathered on about horoscopes and personality traits to her before as they laid in bed together and Harry poked around on his iPad, reading off little bits of text from various websites to Nicole as she smiled at him listened intently as he talked and talked about their zodiac sign.

\--  
\----  
\--  
\---  
\--

 

Harry takes Nicole back to Minnesota that same week, he's free of boy band duty and knows how much Nicole needs to see her family again especially after people started talking about her getting mobbed earlier that week. There were outraged people saying that the paps and fans were taking it too far, as well as others who thought she got what she deserved. The entire replay of the event had been shown on the television multiple times as well as passed about on the internet and Nicole avoided classes as much as possible and her professors were quite understanding after she'd explained why she didn't want to walk to the campus or be around lots of people and agreed to let her do her work online for a few weeks.

In Minnesota the two stay at the small hotel in the town where Nicole had previously lived because her mother and sister both live in small apartments and her father's home is small and has only enough room for him and his wife.

While in the cold state Harry meets more of Nicole's friends and acquaintances, which he soon realizes are not so much friends as people she went to high school with or friends of her sister and mother.  
The realization that Nicole actually meant that she didn't have friends before she met him hits him hard. It happens when they're in a bar with Nicole's family (aside from her father) and people from around town start to filter in and Harry soon realizes that all of the people coming up to Nicole and saying their hellos and how've you beens aren't actually her friends or people she even knows. He catches her down turned lips and the way she's trying to keep her face composed as each new person comes to greet the both of them and spit some garbage like, "Haven't seen you in ages, remember when…" and each time Nicole responds as politely as possible but Harry can see the sad look on her face with each hug or half assed memory that he's not even sure really happened. 

The realization that these people are here because they've heard more about her affiliation with a celebrity and not because they've missed her is what has Harry's fists balled up at his sides when he gets back from the toilet. As he exits the bathroom he glances around the room and sees Nicole sitting at the bar counter by herself, and she's looking at everybody else at their tables as they talk and catch up with everyone that is not her and he can see the look on her face and he thinks he may be more insulted than she is by everyone else's selfishness.

He walks over to quickly and steps in front of her so she's no longer able to look at all of the people pretending to be there because they care about her.  
"We're leaving." Nicole's eyes widen at the demanding tone in his voice but she nods meekly and slips her jacket on and lets him pull her close as they walk out of the bar without a word to anyone, it was unnecessary because Nicole's mother and sister had already left and no one there was paying any mind to Nicole.

It's only a few minutes into the drive that Harry sense the excessive quietness coming from Nicole.  
"You alright?" Harry asks carefully.  
"Would it sound completely pitiful if I said I'm used to having my social situations turn out that way?" Harry glances over at her as they stop at the stop sign to enter into the town they're staying in.  
"It's not pitiful. It's just… it sucks that people treat you like that. You don't deserve that. …Has it always been that way?" Harry lets off the brake and drives the short distance to the hotel up the road.  
"Well people never flocked to an area to see me before, but yeah… I usually end up watching everyone else smile and laugh and talk until I find a way to go home without anyone realizing I've gone… which actually has never been that difficult."  
Harry thinks he's more off put by Nicole's mistreatment than she is, the way she talks about it so casually makes him angry because she shouldn't be casual about being treated so unimportantly.  
His fingers tighten on the steering wheel as he pulls into the parking lot and quickly parks the car, "Are we not getting out?" Nicole asks after a minute of Harry not moving.  
"Just… give me a minute." Harry's voice is tight and he hates how he can't mask his emotions like Nicole can because he hates getting angry and hates when she sees him getting upset.  
"Harry, please. It's fine, I'm fine." Harry turns to her with his lips pressed in a tight line and fingers still gripping the steering wheel too tight.  
"Harry, you need to stop… please." Nicole places her hand over one of his on the wheel and he let her take it away from the wheel. "Please." Harry's anger flooded out of him at that precise moment, the pleading in her voice washed it away in an instant.  
Harry looked over at her, the feeling of vulnerability seemed to seep back into him the way it had only once before and Nicole seemed to sense it.  
"I love you. Let's go to the hotel and we'll get you a bath, does that sound okay?" Harry nods and gets out of the car as Nicole does, she holds his hand tighter than usual as they walk into the hotel and then keeps close to him as they travel up in the elevator and walk to their room and she brings him straight to the bathroom.  
Nicole readies his bath and he sticks close to her the entire time, following behind her as she moves around the bathroom.  
"Harry, babe, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." She puts her hands on his shoulders, running them down his arms slowly, "I'll stay with you. I promise, I have no where else to be."  
Nicole smiles at him softly and pushes his arms up a little and he raises them so she can pull his shirt over his head, she gets his jeans too, along with his underwear and socks and he just lets her guide his body however she needs until she tells him to get into the bathtub and then he listens and does it on his own.  
She lets him relax and they're quiet for awhile, until Harry looks over at Nicole and speaks, "Will you talk to me… just tell me something, a story from when you were little, I just want to hear you."  
Nicole smiles at him and pushes his hair back from his forehead, "From when I was little? …Okay, tilt your head back first." Harry does as told and Nicole pours water over his hair with a cup.  
"Would you like to hear about the time I thought I could become a race car driver?" Harry nods and a bit of water gets into his eyes, but he wipes it away quickly, "Tell me."  
"Alright, alright." Nicole pours shampoo onto her hand and massages it into Harry's hair while she talks, "Well, my dad was a race car driver as you know, and when I was little I thought he was the coolest guy ever, I went through all of the phases of wanting to be like him, I wanted to be fireman, a construction worker… he even got be a tool belt and tools, I wanted to own my own business, and then I wanted to be a race car driver… drag race though, those are the cars with the long fronts and the parachutes that pop out of the back when they need to slow down." Harry felt himself becoming okay again as he listened to her voice and how silly her youthful dreams were.  
"Anyway, I had seen this movie on Disney Channel about two sisters that raced, and their dad did too. The girls were really good, started young and went to lots of races to compete, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I literally used to make clay models of dragsters and present them to my dad every time he'd come home from working on the road because I was so proud of them… kind of silly because they were all pink and yellow and green and I was only about 12 so my artistic talent wasn't as impressive as it could've been, but he seemed to like them and I liked to like things that he did." Harry frowns to himself, knowing Nicole can't see from her angle, he knows the relationship between her and her father isn't great and she's felt abandoned by him since she was young and he knows she hates talking about that aspect of it, so whenever she talks about him it's surprising and weird because she changes, like she lets her guard down and Harry knows it's because she trusts him and has nothing she wants to hide from him in that moment.  
"My dad would always watch races, nascar, which I now cannot stand… it's boring and the crashes stress me out. Anyway," Harry is distracted by the sound of her voice, rather than the words she's saying and how they fit together. He loses himself in her voice and feels himself fall away from the odd vulnerability that had cloaked him earlier.  
"...Alright, hair is done. I'd give you a massage but I think I'd fall asleep mid-shoulder rub." Harry smiles, appreciative of her thought, "Can I get you to rain-check on that? Guarantee me a massage once we get back home?" Nicole smiles back at him and nods, "Of course. Now let's get you out of the tub. It's late and we've got to be up early."  
Harry stands and lets Nicole rub a towel over his hair and over his arms and chest, drying his upper body before wrapping the towel around his waist.  
Harry follows her to out of the bathroom and sits on the bed in his towel, thinking she's flitting around the room to find his underwear, but instead she stops and shimmies out of her jeans, pulls her shirt over her head, slips her bra off and Harry watches with surprised eyes as she doesn't even bother to cover herself from him, "Can I borrow a shirt?" Harry's eyes get big as she talks to him, turning around to show him her bare chest, unashamed and seeming just fine with his eyes raking over her.  
Harry swallows and moves quickly to his bags, grabbing the first shirt he can find and give it to her, trying not to stare at her.  
Nicole clucks her tongue at him, "Eyes are up here, sweetheart." She gestures to her face and Harry turns a deep red, embarrassed not only for getting caught, but for being unable to control himself.  
She slips the shirt over her head, the sleeves long even for begin a short sleeve shirt, long past her bum, and the neck plunging far past where it does on Harry. She walks to him and kisses him softly on the mouth, "I'll let you ogle some other time, but now it's time for bed." Harry's cheeks flush pink at her words, and then again as she presses another soft kiss to his lips before she crawls onto the bed and covers herself in the duvet beside him.


	18. Chapter 18

Nicole and Harry arrive in London with no problems. They return to their home and despite the few paparazzi that followed and pressed them for answers to their questions, they were okay.  
After their return things went back to normal, Nicole had time off of school for holiday as Christmas was right around the corner. Harry had a break from work, until the end of February and then it was touring around the world again.  
The two of them promised to spend as much time as they could together, while they could and they were doing quite well.  
Harry would sit around with Nicole while she painted or worked on her photos, and Nicole would go with Harry to the studio and putz around, getting the boys tea and snacks, helping out wherever she can. They were doing really well, and thankfully the paparazzi have toned down their aggressiveness after what had happened to Nicole. And someone from Canon had read about what happened to her and that she'd broken her camera and they'd sent her a new one for free, they wanted her to continue taking photos and she was eternally grateful for it, spending the entire day snapping pictures of everything and everyone after she'd gotten the camera.

Two months pass and it's February 1, Harry's 20th birthday. 

Harry is out celebrating with the lads, some of his other friends, a few people he's never met before, and he's having a good time. A few drinks, enough to get him buzzed but not drunk, he doesn't want to get drunk, he wants to remember his birthday and not be throwing up in the morning. He's dancing, singing along to the loud bass thumping music, he's enjoying himself.  
Harry is dancing with a short girl with long brown hair, when he realizes that Nicole isn't there. She'd stayed at home and told him she would be awake and waiting for him when he got back, the boys had asked the week earlier if it'd be okay if they had a 'lads night' for Harry's birthday, she was fine with it and wanted him to have fun.

But Harry was uneasy without her there, wishing she was and wishing she was celebrating with him, after realizing that Nicole was home alone, waiting for him, staying awake for him… celebrating without her seemed less exciting, like celebrating at all was stupid because the person he wanted to celebrate with wasn't there.

"Hey Lou," Harry puts a hand on his mates shoulder, getting his attention, "I… I think I'm gonna head out early." He sees Louis' expression change, "Why? Are you okay?" Louis looks at him carefully, scanning over his face to check that he's okay.  
"I'm fine. It just doesn't feel right without Nic, she's at home by herself and she shouldn't be." Louis nods in understanding, "I get it, I'll tell the boys." Harry smiles and hugs Louis, "Thanks… sorry for bailing, but you know…"  
"No problem."

Harry makes his way out of the party, saying a few goodbyes to his closer friends and assuring them he's fine and that they should all continue to have a good time.

When Harry arrives home the house is filled with warm light and a song he's heard endlessly for the past two weeks, Chocolate by The 1975, Nicole's new favorite song.  
He finds her in the living room, a massive sketchpad on her lap and she's scribbling over it with a dark pencil he assumes is charcoal and he knows her fingers are probably black with the residue the pencils leave behind, and she'd probably got some on her face because she always does when she draws or paints.  
She's still in her own bubble when he clears his throat, "Nic?" She turns around and sees him, a smile covering her face as she sets her pencils down and moves the large sketchpad from her lap.  
"Hi, why are you home?" She's looking at him a bit worriedly, "You're supposed to be at your birthday party."  
"I know… It's just, it didn't feel right to celebrate when the only person I wanted to celebrate with wasn't there."  
Nicole stands up and walks to Harry, who is covering his face with his curly hair, trying to hide his slightly pink cheeks.  
"Harry, you could've just called me, I would've come and you would still be with all of your friends."  
"I know, but I just wanted to be with you."  
Nicole smiles at him and brushes the hair out of his face, "Well, that's very sweet of you, but you see, I planned on working on your birthday gift until you got home, which I assumed to be much later, and now it's unfinished." Harry's eyes search her face trying to figure out how she feels, and she's not angry, she's got that small smirk on her lips that tells him she's toying with him.  
"I'm sorry." He says, mimicking her smirk and conveying that no, he isn't very sorry at all.  
"Looks like I'll just finish it later then, and give you something else tonight."  
Harry's eyes blow wide at her suggestive tone. Harry's never heard her voice take on that sexualized hint and hearing it has his heart pounding.  
"W-what?" Nicole smiles at him softly and takes his hand, tugging gently to lead him into their bedroom.  
"Nic?" Harry's voice comes out croaky, like he's woken up with a dry throat, "are you… ar-"  
"I've known that I wanted this for a while now, that I was ready. I just wanted it to be on a special day, like today. I trust you, I love you, I know that you'll take care of me when I need you. I know that I always want to be here when you come home, and I know that I'll love you no matter what happens, I'll take care of you, give you all that I have, work to give you what I don't, and I will stay here with you for however long you will have me."  
Harry is smiling at her with slightly watery eyes and his heart hammering in his chest, he thinks that those words were all he could've asked for, they were a gift to hear and for her to feel that way about him was a gift as well, it was all he needed, although Nicole had one more thing to give.  
"I will always want you, and love you, and care for you. I love you more than anything I've ever known." Harry leans into her and kisses her, slow and soft because he's still unsure of how fast to move with something so new for Nicole and he doesn't want to rush her. 

They move slowly together, savoring their time together and letting themselves get lost in every kiss and every touch. Harry can feel how hard Nicole's heart is beating, he can feel the thumping in his own chest as well, the heat from their bodies meshing together giving them each flushed cheeks and labored breathing as they work together to remove the layers of clothing on one another.  
Harry's movements slow down even more as he lets his hands touch the bare parts of Nicole that he's never touched before, his eyes rake over her body, memorizing the feel of her soft skin, the tattoos that cover it, and the raised flesh of her scars that mar parts of her as well, the tops of her thighs, bits on her hips, wrists, and upper arms. He catches her look away from him then, knowing he's seeing the parts of her that she doesn't let anyone see.  
"You're beautiful… even the scars." Harry nudges her arm and presses his lips over her the raised skin of her bicep, down to her forearm and wrists where tattoos cover most of the imperfections.  
"Harry…" She threads her fingers through his hair, a silent way of saying, _I love you, thank you for loving me too._  
Harry doesn't stop his loving kisses there, he explores every part of her that has seen the image of sharp metal slice against it. He peppers soft kisses to her stomach, hips, the tops of her thighs, and the inside of her thighs as well, working his way closer to her center.  
He could hear Nicole's breath catch as he breathed over her. He wanted this to be about her first, so she would know that sex wasn't just for him, but for both of them together.  
The sound she released as Harry slipped a finger between her legs was the most gorgeous sound he'd heard in his life, and he made it a point to hear that sound as much as possible.

The sensation of Harry's fingers curling inside of her and his mouth on her gave Harry just what he had strived for, Nicole was loud, and writhing, fingers gripping his hair tightly as he curled his fingers up and flicked his tongue.  
"Ha-arry!" She tugged his hair harder, making it impossible for him to suppress the groan he released, the sound of his name on her lips had him straining within his jeans.  
He took his fingers from her and lifted himself up, holding his body above hers as he kissed his way up to her lips, letting her taste herself on his tongue.  
Her chest was heaving, eyes frantic as they took in Harry's face, "I'm ready, please." Her needing voice and the fingers twining in his hair had him doing just what she asked, carefully letting himself disappear inside of her. Harry's heart pumping wildly, head swirling with the tight warmth he was now surrounded in, the fact that he was now so close to her and that she trusted him enough to allow him to be so close to her was enough to have him fighting the heat in the pit of his belly.

He rocked into her slowly, their hips meeting each time, lips connected and only departing when Nicole's would part as she moaned into Harry's mouth. He was overwhelmed with everything, her love, her beauty, her taste, her sounds, her touch, it was the most incredible experience of his life.  
She trembled beneath him, legs shaking as they hooked around his waist, he thrust into her a bit quicker and she gripped at his back and shoulders, "Harry!" He nearly moaned at that, Nicole wasn't loud, she was such a subdued person and knowing he could make her scream, make her let go like this made his heart swell with pride.  
Harry caught her lips with his, devouring the taste of her, "Har-" her lips part as she moans his name brokenly. Her breath hitches and Harry feels her body tense, her back arching, chest pressing against his, the repetitive sound of his name on her lips, _harryharryharry_ and he's pushed to the edge with one more thrust, releasing inside of her, his mouth forming her name in the way her's had before the strength in his arms is lessened from exhaustion.  
He rests his head in the crook of her neck, and Harry could feel her chest press against his as her breathing was still labored and he was now sated, needing to come down from the high to get his own breathing under control.

"I love you." Harry nuzzles into her neck and kisses her skin softly.  
"I love you too." Nicole kisses Harry's temple and runs her fingers through his hair, not caring that it's damp with sweat.  
"Are you okay?" Harry asks, slipping to the side of her, rather than on top of her.  
"Mmm mhmm." Harry chuckles lightly at that before she tacks on, "I think I need a shower." Harry smiles and kisses her cheek, "me too."  
Harry gets up, lifts Nicole into his arms and carries her to the bathroom.

The two of them shower together, Harry mostly holding Nicole upright and making sure her wobbly legs don't give out.  
Harry gets her cleaned up first, lathering her up in her lavender scented body wash, soaping her hair up in shampoo and rinsing her free of all suds. And then Nicole grabs his body wash and runs her soapy hands over all of him, cleaning him as he holds onto her by her hips, keeping her upright. She washes his hair as he rests his forehead against her shoulder, her fingers working the shampoo into his curls.

And then once both of them are clean they step out, dry themselves and fall back into bed, not bothering to dress themselves.  
Harry holds her close to him in bed, arms wrapped around her tight as they fall asleep and Nicole knows that she made the right choice, Harry was exactly who she wanted to lose her virginity to. He loved her so much that she could feel it, she loved him so much it hurt in her chest sometimes, Harry was her person, the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, she knew she'd never love another person like she loved Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it being a bit short, but it's an important chapter and I wanted it to stand by itself.


	19. Chapter 19

Sex isn't something that happens every night, but when they do it, it's special. They never rush, never forget to give the other what they need, they always have the other person's pleasure and needs at the forefront of their mind, and they always make sure that the other gets what they need.

\---

For Nicole's birthday, Harry takes it upon himself to make it her best.  
He'd been paying close attention to the things she'd been doing lately and he'd found her creating her own mock ups of gallery set ups. Placing specific photographs together in a theme, black and white, people, objects, street life, landscapes, a folder with a combination of all of them… her favorite photos.

Harry knew how to make her 20th birthday one to remember, and he did just that.

"Hey, Nic, would you like to go to a new art exhibit tonight? I've heard the photographer is really great."  
"I'd love that. Who is the photographer?" Nicole comes into the room with a yogurt and spoon in her hand and Harry smiles, he still worries about her eating, so when she does he's instantly relieved.  
"Not sure of the name, she's kind of new to the scene, she's done some work for celebrities and a few charities too."  
"That sounds cool. Is it a big show?" Harry grins at her and watches as she puts a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth.  
"It's pretty big, yeah." Nicole doesn't say anything, just acknowledges him with a little nod.  
"Have you ever thought about doing an exhibit? You could have your paintings, drawings and your photos."  
Nicole smiles a little, "I've thought about it, but I just don't think I'm as good as some of the people out there right now. I don't even know who would come to a show if I had one, aside from you of course." Harry frowns at her, "You're fantastic, Nic. I know loads of people that would go to your shows."  
"Thanks… Maybe someday."  
"Show me what you would want in a show if you had one, show me what you want people to see." Nicole smiles and gets up.  
Harry follows her and waits as she rifles through all of her creations.

"I'd want them to see how I see. I'd want them to see these," Nicole picks up a folder of photos, all printed in 8x10 format. Nicole pulls them out of the folder and lays them out for Harry, "These are my favorite pictures."  
Harry looks over them, somehow when he had seen the photos in the folder earlier he had failed to really look at them.  
"This is me." Harry says, pointing to one of them, he's sitting in their bedroom, seated on the bed, legs bent over the side, elbows on his thighs and forearms up and hands clasped together like he's praying, his head bent and forehead resting against his hands, he looks tired, worn out, like he's just hoping for something good to happen again. And it did. Right after the photo was taken Nicole had walked up to him, kissed him and then proceeded to have him lie on the bed and give him a full body massage.

"It is you." Nicole smiles at him as he picks the picture up. "Why is this a favorite?"  
"You're this person when you're alone," Nicole says, pointing to the photo in his hands, "You're different. It's like you lose the confidence you normally have… I hate seeing you that way, because you're beautiful, and funny, and smart, and I have no idea how you still have a hard time believing that."  
"So why would that make this one of your favorites?"  
"Because, it's you. This is who you are, all the versions of you are important. I love you all of the time, whether you're happy, sad, mad, sick, hurt, scared, vulnerable… I love you even when I'm not with you, and that's kind of what the picture is to me. I wasn't really there in that moment, not to you, and you were this person who I never see because I can't see you when I'm not there, but I still loved that person in the photo, I still love him… I love him because he's you, and there's not any part of you that I couldn't love."  
"That's all in this photo?" Harry looks up at her again, love wading around in his eyes as he watches her smile.  
"It is to me." Harry cracks a smile, "What about the others… what else is there?"  
Nicole moves and points out a few more photos, there is a variation of themes, black and white, photos of London, photos of the bad side of London as well- homeless people, people that make their money by preforming on the street and none of them are pitying photos, all of the people are smiling. Harry is amazed by the pictures, living where they do they don't often see the rough parts of London, and it's telling of the person Nicole is because she was afraid to leave their house in fear of getting lost, but she had no fear to go to the rougher areas of London and take pictures of the people that most of society are afraid of. 

"What about those?" Harry asks, pointing to group of candid photos, one of a man covered in tattoos walking with a little girl dressed all in pink and accepting of the man holding her hand, another of an old man sitting on a park bench talking to a young man no older than Harry, and the old man is smiling as he talks, and it's obvious that the generational gap between them isn't relevant in their conversation. The photos are all things that people don't see happening enough, and Harry loves them all.

\---  
-  
\---  
-

"Nic? You ready?" Harry enters their bedroom and see her there slipping her feet into her black ankle boots with a four inch heel.  
"Your feet are going to hurt." Harry tuts, knowing he's right, Nicole loathes heels and only wears them when she feels obligated.  
"The funny thing about shoes… you can take them off." Harry laughs, "At an art gallery?"  
"Even at an art gallery, and if not… you'll carry me home, won't you?" She's smirking at him, teasing him knowing he'd carry her if she asked.  
"Now that you tease, don't be so sure." Harry smirks at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead.  
"It's my birthday, you're required to be nice to me." Harry smiles and hugs her, kissing her hair as she nuzzles into his neck now that her heels allow her to be tall enough to do so.  
"I'd carry you around the world, darling. But right now, we've got a gallery to visit."  
Nicole nods against his neck and pulls away, taking Harry's hand and letting him lead her from the house to the car, even though she'd walked the path on her own a million times now.

\--

"I've been here before, the rooms are massive." Nicole is smiling like a kid in a candy store before they even step out of the car, entirely delighted to be at the venue on its own.  
Harry can't help the grin on his face as he opens Nicole's door and leads her to the front entrance of the gallery.  
"Why is it so closed off tonight? Is this a private showing?" Nicole glances to Harry as they walk.  
"Yeah. It's the opening, the debut of her coming out to the public as someone who is to be taken seriously."  
"Wow, I'll bet she's good if she can get a space like this and have it privatized. I'm excited." Harry's grin gets bigger at her words, she's got a massive smile on her face as well and it's just making the night even better.

Harry guides her in to the space, holding her hand tight and ushering her forward gently.  
As they get inside Harry watches her face take in the people, the photos in front of her, the realization that all of it is for her, the photos are hers, the people are her friends, the space belongs to her for now.  
"Harry… w-"  
"Happy birthday." Harry whispers close to her ear, cutting her off.  
The people in the space are scattered and yet still smiling at her, they are there for her because they are her friends, they won't abandon her once they've shared false memories and halfhearted hellos, they are here for her because they love her.  
She's smiling with watery eyes, so happy and so thankful to have someone like Harry who would do this for her.  
Harry just watches her take it all in, her eyes flitting around the walls, looking for specific people, smiling when she sees Niall and Zayn pop out from behind a wall and wave to her, she's smiling so earnestly, so beautifully and Harry is bursting with pride because he did this, he got her the right gift.

She walks further into the space and then everyone begins clapping for her, her cheeks dust pink and she's nearly crying.  
Harry kisses her temple as he walks beside her and shows her the pieces on the walls until she's wrapped her head around her pictures being in a fantastic exhibit space and that people are actually taking time to look at them, then Harry lets her walk around on her own, sure that she's comfortable by herself.

Nicole explores the space, looking at all of the enlarged versions of her photos and feeling like one of the viewers, seeing the pictures for the first time.

"Hello, I'm Daniel, I was looking at a group of photos you did and was curious if anything is for sale?"  
Nicole turns to him, a surprised look on her face, "Oh… well, sure. Which ones were you interested in?"  
The man smiles at her and gestures for her to follow him, and she does, glancing over at Harry as she passes him and he's got a thousand watt smile plastered over his face.

"I like these," The man, Daniel, points out specific pieces from the black and white theme she'd worked on, he points to the photos of the homeless man smiling, the musician working for change outside of a corporate building as well as a few others.  
"Can you tell me about them?"  
"Sure. I took them when I first moved here, I was terrified of leaving the house because I thought I'd get lost or someone would recognize me from being associated with Harry, but once I went out I saw a few things that I knew I had to find more of, there was a side of humanity that not enough people were able to see because they were afraid to go where it existed, so I went there. I talked to the homeless men and woman, the people playing their music on the street, wherever they could earn a dollar… or pound here I guess. I just wanted to hear their story, a picture doesn't mean much if there isn't a story behind it, and all of these have massive story behind them."  
"Just as I had hoped, these are fantastic. Would you sell them?"  
"Yeah. Just… promise me they won't end up on ebay?" The man laughs, "I can promise you that. How does 5 sound for each?"  
"Five pounds? They cost more than that to print."  
"Five thousand pounds, ma'am." Nicole's eyes blow wide, surprised at the large offer.  
"That- That's generous. Uh yeah. That'd be great." The man nods and smiles, reaching his hand out to Nicole to seal the deal.  
"Great, I'll take the four here and the two over on the other wall. I'd like to have the full collection."  
"Wow, thank you. I'll stick a little sign on these then so they'll be yours at the end of the night."  
"That'd be wonderful. Thank you."  
"No, really, thank you." Nicole smiles and excuses herself to talk to other people and mostly to find Harry.

"Harry!" Nicole hugs him right as she gets close enough, "I just sold five pieces." Harry smiles down at her, proud of her talents and that she's his.  
"I'm so proud of you! I told you people would love what you do."  
"He must've really loved it. He offered five thousand for each photo… I've never sold anything for that much."  
"It's safe to say that any art collectors here are not worried about money." Nicole laughs, "I figured."

The rest of the night is calm, a few people offering to buy pieces and many others asking about the significance behind the photos.  
Harry takes Nicole home after the viewing closes, and hours after she'd tossed her heels aside and began walking around in bare feet and he carries her through the door of their home because she's tired and her feet hurt and Harry was sure that he'd carry her home even if she hadn't asked.

That night they smile into their kisses and laugh as they stumble into bed. Harry focuses on her and the love she needs, listening for her hitching breath, the cries of his name, paying close attention to her fingers gripping at his hair, shoulders, back, and arms as he pleases her, and the sounds she makes, the tugging on his hair and fingernails scratching at his skin have him just as worked up as she is until they're panting and releasing, their bodies going limp and pliant against one another after their highs climax and begin to calm.

Harry curls up to Nicole, holding her close and whispering his 'I love you's' to her in the silence of their dark bedroom. They fall asleep wrapped in one another, feeling as loved as they ever could, knowing the other loves them just as much.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, so fair warning, there is a lot of sad in this chapter, it gets a bit better at the end but just know you may get a little teary eyed.  
> I don't want to say what is sad because that will ruin the entire thing, so if you hate me by the end of it I'm really sorry, you can yell at me in the comments or something.  
> Also this is not proof read yet, so pardon that.

THREE WEEKS LATER

"Is someone going with you?" Harry asks seriously, eyeing Nicole knowing she was trying to sneak out alone.  
"No." Her voice is weak, she knows she should have someone with her at any time she's in a public place where things could go wrong -fan wise anyway.  
"Nic, you know how I feel about this. You're not in a small town anymore, you can't be alone when you go out like this… I can't risk you getting hurt."  
"Being with a bodyguard is weird though, they don't talk to me and it's awkward the entire time." Harry's eyes soften, he knows she hates that her security is an issue now, but protecting her is the priority for him.  
"I know, but you don't want to get hurt again, do you?" Nicole narrows her eyes at him, of course she doesn't want to get mobbed again, what kind of question was that?  
"Fine, I'll call Niall then. He'll make Paul come along and we're going to have an awesome time while you and Zayn hang out and have one of your intense heart to hearts."  
Harry grins at her, the tone in her voice defies any anger she has toward the security issue, "I hope you do have an awesome time. You know I'd go with you, but I haven't hung out with Zayn one on one for a while."  
"I know. It's okay." Harry steps a bit closer to her and kisses her softly on the lips before he lets Nicole dial Niall up.

\--  
Niall agrees to go with Nicole, as long as they can eat first because he's apparently starving and can't wait any longer.  
Harry kisses Nicole again before she leaves, "I love you. Call me if you need anything."  
"I will. I love you too." Nicole smiles at him before she walks out the door to Niall and Andy in a car outside the house.

Nicole is smiling at Niall right away, they've gotten pretty close since the boys had been home and liked to spend time together just the two of them sometimes because it was never too serious and they had the same sense of humor.

It was food first, Nandos to be exact, and where Niall ordered more than Nicole could eat in a day, Nicole just ordered a beverage and chatted to Niall.  
"So how're you and Haz doing?" Niall asks, taking a sip of his drink.  
"Good. It's nice having him home again. I like having things to do around the house, like knowing I can put my efforts in somewhere and when he's not home I don't really get to do that."  
"What do you mean?" Niall looks at her confusedly, eyebrows knitting together a little.  
"It's going to sound stupid… but, I like the stuff that reminds me he's home. The rumpled blanket on the couch, dishes in the sink, his socks on the floor, damp towels in the bathroom before I shower… I dunno. Just like, I like having things to take care of, not that Harry's a lot to take care of, because he really isn't, but I just like doing whatever I can to lessen his worries and concerns and I like seeing that he's been home or is home and I get to go find him when I walk in the door." Nicole's cheeks have gone a bit warm at her admittance, not even Harry knows what she's just told Niall.  
"That's not stupid. It's nice. Harry's a really lucky guy, you've done a lot for him that a lot of girls wouldn't do. I think it's great that you're so accepting of the obligations he has elsewhere with the band and things… it's a lot to manage and you're doing a great job of it. I wish I had a girl to come home to and who looked forward to picking up my dirty socks and wet towels."  
Nicole laughs, "Thanks Ni. You'll find a girl, who couldn't love you?" Niall smiles and shoves a fry into his mouth.

"You're sure you're not hungry?" Niall picks up another fry but gestures toward the basket of them on the table.  
"I'm not hungry. Thanks though." Nicole smiles politely, trying not to feel awkward about the eating situation, Niall still doesn't know, no one but Harry and his mum know. The only reason Harry had told his mum about it was so she could make meals that Nicole would actually eat while they visited her.  
"Alright, well want to get going then?"  
"Yeah. I have to get some canvas prints and then we can do whatever." Niall smiles and stands, pulling his coat on and Nicole does the same, buttoning up her coat quickly so they can leave.

They pick up Nicole's prints and then head off to do some shopping. Nicole still hadn't went back to get the shirts she'd bought last time and ended up giving to the girl who ripped her shirt.  
They walked to each store that they could, Paul giving them space to feel a little bit normal and yet close enough to keep them protected in the face of danger or crazy fans.  
Niall was making for good company, talking to Nicole nonstop about any and all things, making her laugh and feel at ease even though there were paparazzi following them every time they walked out of a shop.

Niall had a way of making Nicole feel like everything was okay and normal even though everything in her life was far from normal, it was hard not to relax and let go around him because his laugh was so loud and unrestrained, he cracked jokes about everything, didn't bring up pressing subjects, Nicole liked that she didn't have to worry about talking about stressful or uncomfortable things with him. It gave her a break from so much of the worry in her own head.

"We should get you home, Nic. Haz is probably wondering where you are." Niall grabs a bag from her hand to lighten her load as they walk and she smiles at him gratefully, "Thanks. Yeah I s'pose, have you got anything going on tonight?"  
"Was gonna go to a club with Lou and Liam, Zayn too probably, d'you and Haz want to go?"  
"I don't drink, but Harry might want to. I can ask him at home." Niall looks at her, surprised that she doesn't drink at all when nearly everyone he knows does, but he doesn't question it or ask why.  
"Will you come along if Harry does?" Nicole gets ready to answer but they've reached the car and Niall opens the door for her to get in.  
Once Niall is in and the door is shut she speaks, "Yeah. Last time I didn't go out with you guys Harry came back early, he needs to have fun too." Niall gives her a smile, "Yeah, Lou told me when he left. He's a bit of a worrier when it comes to you."  
Nicole laughs quietly to herself, a bit was an understatement and Niall seems to get it because he chuckles a little and sits back in his seat, head back and eyes closed. Nicole watches out the window until they pull up at her and Harry's house.

"Remember to ask Haz about tonight." Niall says as she steps out of the car.  
"I will. I'll text you later to let you know. Thanks for today, I had fun."  
"Not a problem, Nic. I had fun too." They both smile at each other and Nicole waves as she turns around and goes to the front door, hearing Niall yell a " See ya later!" Out of the car window.

\---

Zayn is still there when Nicole gets in the house, the two boys are in the living room talking, Harry's in the middle of a story using hand gestures and Zayn is listening intently so Nicole sneaks past them to the bedroom to put her things away.

She folds her shirts up and puts them with her stuff and then folds up the two shirts she got for Harry and sets them on the bed so he'll see them when he walks in.  
She can still hear the boys talking, obviously very into what they have to say, so she busies herself putting clothes away and picking up some of Harry's clothes that have found a home on the floor for the day, she smiles through it all though, happy to do it.  
She eventually runs out of things to do though, so she finds the kitchen, whips up a quick snack for the Harry and Zayn, tea and sandwiches with little cubes of fruit on the side.

She smiles as she brings one plate and one cup of tea, setting it down in front of Zayn muttering a "Sorry to interrupt."  
Zayn just gives her a big smile and a "Thanks, Nic."  
While Harry smiles at her and says, "What about me?" In a childish voice. "I love Zayn more today." She quips back, smiling with all her teeth showing and Harry knows she's just teasing.  
She brings Harry his plate and tea and he kisses her on the cheek and says, "Thanks babe. How was shopping with Niall?"  
"We had fun, he wants to know if you want to go to a club tonight." Harry looks to Zayn quick, "You going?" He asks.  
"Yeah, haven't been out in a while."  
Harry turns around to Nicole again, "Do you want to go?" She gives a shrug, knowing he'll say he won't go if she stays home. "I'll go. Someone's got to make sure you don't fall on your beautiful face." Harry smiles at her, "You're such a sweet girl." She giggles as he kisses her cheek again and then lets the boys be, going to change for tonight and eat something before they leave.

 

Harry and Zayn eat and talk a little more before Zayn leaves to get ready for the night.  
Harry showered and when he went back into the bedroom he saw the two shirts on the bed that Nicole had gotten him and thanked her with dozens of kisses and multiple 'I love you's and slipped one of them on.

Harry went to the bathroom to fix his hair and Nicole was sorting hers out in the mirror in their bedroom.  
She's curled it a little more, in tighter curls and hadn't gotten her make up done yet, so she went to work on that as well.  
Harry came back and sat on the bed, watching as she lined her eyes lightly in black and swiped mascara on her lashes.  
He wondered if she had an foundation on at all after a moment, realizing how pale she looked, "Nic, you look really pale."  
"It's winter, Harry. Of co-" She stood up quickly, rushing to the bathroom and slamming the door.  
Harry could hear the retching behind the wooden slab that separated them, "Nic? Babe, let me in!" He stood by the door, waiting for her to let him in rather than just bursting in unwanted.  
"Har, no. I don't want to get you sick." The retching came again and his stomach twisted, the sound of her sick made him feel ill.  
"I don't care, let me take care of you." Nicole twisted the door knob from where she sat on the floor beside it and let the door creak open on it's own, not pushing it open any further.  
Harry stepped in and got down to her level, "Is it your stomach? Did you eat something funny?"  
"No. We had the same breakfast and I had fruit after that. Same as you and Zayn." Harry frowned, unsure of what was wrong with her if they'd eaten the same things and she wasn't sick from a cold or anything.  
"Here," Harry stood up and helped her stand, holding onto her hips as she got her bearings and got her to the sink so she could brush her teeth. He kept his grip on her the entire time she brushed her teeth and wiped the smeared makeup from under her eyes.  
"Little better?" Harry asks, looking at her carefully, seeing some color had returned to her face.  
"Yeah. I don't feel sick, I don't think I've got a bug or anything. I'll be fine."  
"We should stay home, I don't want you getting sick again." Harry brushes some hair off of her face, her eyes still a little watery as well so he swipes the pad of his thumb under her eye and wipes the little tear away.  
"I'm okay, Harry. I wouldn't go if I thought I'd be ill. I want to go, if I feel poorly I'll let you know."  
Harry looked at her speculatively, unsure if he should really go out tonight now that Nicole had been sick, but she looked sure that she was okay and she hadn't been ill or had another other symptoms of her being flu-y or having food poisoning.  
"Okay, we'll go. But promise you'll tell me right away if you feel ill." Harry gives her a stern look, he can't risk her being sick, he hates the idea of her being anything less than perfectly healthy.  
"I know. I promise, I will."

 

And so they go to the club, strobe lights, thumping bass, tons of people and alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol. Harry and Nicole dance for awhile, but he's still worried about her so he doesn't keep her on her feet too long and keeps a close eye on her the entire night. He avoids drinking hard liquor and opts for a beer and drinks it slowly, Nicole sticks with water, because as much as she thinks she's alright she doesn't want to upset her stomach again.

Harry excuses himself from the table where Zayn and Liam are sitting with Nicole and goes to the restroom. He's consumed by "What's wrong with Nic? Why was she sick?" the entire time, thinking over what she'd eaten, if there were any bugs going around he'd heard about (there were none) and … _Oh god. Shit. No no no, it couldn't be. She's not- …No. No, it couldn't be that._ Harry shakes his head, curls bouncing around his head as he washes his hands and wipes them dry.  
He heads back to the table and Nicole is on her own, swirling the ice in her glass around with a straw and Zayn and Liam are close by but not seated anymore.  
"You alright?" Harry asks, looking at her face seriously as he sits down.  
"I don't know… I don't feel sick, but I don't feel normal." Harry shifts closer to her, like his presence will protect her from the sickness inside herself.  
"What doesn't feel normal?"  
"I… can we go? I don't think we should stay, Harry." Harry's panic creeps up on him as he sees the worry in Nicole's eyes, she's definitely not okay.  
"Okay, let's go. C'mon." Harry helps her out of their booth and she sticks right to him when she stands and Harry realizes as they walk that it's because she probably can't stand on her own.  
"We're going to the hospital." Nicole looks up at him worried even further, she loathes hospitals, nothing good comes from them, as far as she's experienced at least.

They pass Zayn on their way out and at the word "hospital" he sobers up quickly and rounds up everyone else and in a matter of minutes all the boys are packed into one vehicle and Harry's driving as fast as he can without breaking the law too much.  
Nicole is in the front with him, hands clasped over her stomach, a sad worried look on her face and Harry can see she's crying, silently and he knows that for her that may just be the worst kind of crying. He slips one hand off the wheel and places it over her two on her stomach and she clings to it, and Harry can see just how scared she is.  
The boys in the back are dead silent, all worrying to themselves in their heads and it's a tense atmosphere and everyone just wants it to be okay soon.

They arrive at the hospital and Harry opts for carrying Nicole in because she's shaking out of pain and panic and all the boys open the doors for him and alert the doctors that she needs help right away.  
A doctor comes quickly and Nicole is placed in an exam room, Harry standing by her side, holding her hand and kissing her forehead for reassurance, both for himself and her.

"We're going to do an what's called a transvaginal ultrasound, okay?" Nicole nods as the adjusts her on the exam table and he gives Harry a look that says, 'you don't have to stay' but he does because Nicole's hand squeezes his a little tighter and he watches her face rather than what the doctor is doing because he's not so comfortable with that.  
Harry looks over at the black and white screen the doctor has set up and he's not sure what he's looking for but from the look on the doctors face he knows that what he's seeing isn't what he should be seeing.  
"What's wrong? Is she okay?" Harry asks, his voice nearly cracking as he speaks.  
"She will be okay," The doctor says, then turns to Nicole to speak to her directly, "You're okay, but the slight pain and unusual feeling you had was the result of a miscarriage. You weren't far along, probably only about two and a half weeks. Most likely the feeling you had was knowledge that something wasn't right with your body along with panic. You're going to be fine though."  
"I was pregnant?" Nicole doesn't look at Harry, she just grips his hand tighter and he tries to keep himself together. He doesn't want to break down in front of her right now, he can't.  
"I'm going to clean her up from the gel and talk to her for a moment if you don't mind?" The doctor looks at Harry like he understands that separating them isn't ideal but Nicole nods saying, "it's okay." And lets his hand go so he can go out of the room. 

Harry goes out of the room, the second the door shuts he feels himself shatter, tears pour from his eyes and he just feels his heart breaking, it hurts so bad. He could've had a baby, he could've been a dad. Granted he's young, but he's always loved the idea of being a dad, he loves kids and now he had had the chance to be a father to a child with Nicole, the knowledge that it was taken from him broke him because he realized how badly he wanted it to work out, he wanted that future with her.  
He stumbles his way to the waiting room where the boys are and the moment they see him they're out of their seats, arms around him, comforting words spilling from their mouths.

"Haz, what's wrong, what happened? Is she okay?"  
Harry looks up at them, all of their worried faces staring back at him and he doesn't want to say the words but there's no other way, "She… she miscarried. She was only a few weeks along, but… she must've known something was wrong. …I could've had a baby with her." Harry chokes on his words and a cry tears through his throat.  
The boys can't even believe what they're hearing, they know how great Harry would be as a father and how much he loves Nicole, it doesn't matter how young they are, they still lost a child, no matter how far along Nicole was.  
"Haz, you can still have a baby with her. This doesn't mean you can't have kids with her." Zayn's got a tight grip on his shoulder as he speaks, Harry knows he's right and is thankful for his words.  
"I know… I know, it's just-"  
"It's okay Haz, Nic is going to be okay and that's what's important. When the time is right you guys can try to have a baby then. It's going to alright, Hazza." Liam's voice is a comfort, always sensible and right and reassuring.  
Harry nods and wipes his eyes, "I should go back and get her. She can come home tonight." The boys give him one last hug and then give him space to go to Nicole.

Back in the exam room Nicole's pulled her hair up into a messy bun on top of her head, her eye make up is a little smeared and Harry sees she's been crying too.  
He hugs her right away and she wraps herself around him and clings on like a koala.  
"I'm so sorry, babe. I'm so sorry. We'll have a baby, I promise. We will. We'll be okay." Harry give spits the words out, everything tumbling around in his brain that he needs to say and wants to say and thinks he should say so he lets it fall out as he grips onto Nicole and holds her tight against him.  
"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I love you. I love you so much, Harry."  
"I love you too, babe. Let's go home, okay?" Harry lifts her off the table before she can answer, she doesn't even move from her placement of being wrapped to the front of Harry and he doesn't even adjust her, he just lets her legs wrap around his waist and arms around his neck and he holds onto her under her thighs and makes his way out of the room with her still latched onto him, face buried in his chest and fingers messing with the curls at the nape of his neck.

The boys don't talk much on the way home, they just let Nicole and Harry off first and give them their "I love you, we love you"'s and say they'll call tomorrow.  
Harry gets Nicole ready for a bath, she's still in the bad mind set and has weak legs at the mere thought of what's happened to her so Harry sits her down and undresses her, picks her up and places her in the warm water of the tub. He washes her hair and body and cleans the make up off her face, combs through her hair after he conditions it and rinses her free of any soapy residue. He dries her and puts her in a pair of his boxers and one of his shirts because he's discovered that she likes when he gives her his sweatshirts or sweatpants even if their several sizes too big and hang off her body.

Harry readies to take her to bed but she says, "Can we watch a movie? Something funny?"  
"Of course." Harry takes her to the living room and lays her on the sofa before he gathers an extra duvet from a small storage closet and adjusts her so he can lay with her and then covers them both with the blanket.  
Harry picks a film and it ends up being "The Amazing Spiderman" and the first time they'd watched it Nicole had loved it nearly as much as Louis did.  
She cuddles into Harry and he tucks her head under his chin and keeps a good hold on her as the film plays. 

Halfway through the film Nicole looks up at Harry and says, "I'm okay. I just… I want you to know that I'm okay. I'm sad, but I know that we'll have a baby when the time is right."  
Harry looks at her with teary eyes because she's being so strong when she doesn't have to be, she knows he'd take care of her if she cried for three days straight or threw a fit for ten hours, but she's just strong, unbelievably so.  
"I love you. You're the strongest person I've ever met, I know you'll be a great mum." Nicole give him a little smile and kisses him lightly before placing herself back to where she was before with her head tucked under his chin and they watch the movie play, and Harry feels so much better when Nicole giggles at all the same parts she did before. Nicole is so special to him and he loves her so much, she's strong and brave and courageous and her having so much good in her almost blows his mind, she's incredible to him and he's so thankful he's got her in his life.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proofed, my apologies.

Because of everything happening with Nicole and Harry, Harry had taken time off from work to be with her, making sure she was okay and not reverting into any of her past behaviors of not eating or negative thoughts that would progress into depression. He was worried about her and knew that she was keeping a lot inside because that was just how she dealt with things. He knew he'd been a bit overbearing, always being right there by her because there was that fear he had that leaving her alone could result in her doing something bad to herself and he hated even thinking that way because it was like he didn't believe that she could handle her emotions and he did think she was strong but he was afraid of losing her that it was a bit like being blinded.  
Nicole handled it well, really she was doing great. She took two days and cried a little, was sad and had those 'what if' thoughts but then she realized that having a baby now wouldn't be good because they weren't ready. Harry was always on the road and she hadn't even finished university yet. She knew that some things happen for a reason no matter how bad and sad they are sometimes so she kind of kept herself from thinking the 'what if' things and focused on the day in front of her and the things that needed to be done and the life she had because it really was a fantastic one.   
She also handled Harry quite well, she'd noticed his change in behavior. He was mopey and a bit slumped into himself, he quieted down and became much more clingy, but not in an annoying way, she knew why and she gave him the affection he needed. He never left her alone for too long, helped her with almost everything and made sure she was kept busy because he knew it helped.   
Although, there was a part of Harry that did those things for himself. He moped and became a little isolated from other people for that bit of time because he was so upset over losing the baby. He clung to Nicole and needed her affection because he had the idea in his head that it was his fault that they had lost the baby. He didn't leave her side because he didn't want her to leave too, he didn't want to lose her. As silly as it seems that he didn't even like leaving the bedroom before her in the mornings, it was his mind set that had him so messed up. He had this vulnerability and innocence that Nicole nor the other boys had seen before. He was childlike in how he acted, not immature really, but in the praises he now needed and how he reacted to receiving love and reassuring words. It was like every 'I love you' was the equivalent of someone offering a five year old a box of biscuits, Harry's eyes would get big and you could see his fears being extinguished by the words, he'd look up at Nicole with those innocent pale green eyes, his bottom lip between his teeth, the pure need his eyes held told her all she needed to know about how he felt. Harry was possibly more broken down than she was, and this time it was her turn to put him together again.

\---

It took nearly a month for Harry to get back to normal. During that time there had been a lot of long talks between he and Nicole where he'd tell her how sorry he was and that he really hoped she still loved him for what he'd done.  
After the second time of Harry apologizing for what he had thought was his fault Nicole nearly yelled at him.  
"Listen to me, and you better hear every word I say and take it to heart okay? None of this is your fault, you had no control of what happened to the baby. I didn't even know I was pregnant, Harry. There was nothing we could have done. Miscarriages happen and it's got nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do, it's not your fault or my fault or anyone else's. This baby wasn't supposed to come for us right now, it wasn't the right time. Harry, we have so much ahead of us, you've got the boys and the band and I've got school and work. We're only just getting started and having a baby would have been so stressful, even you know that. You would've missed so much because you have to work, you travel the world for a living, and you love it. I would never want you to give that up because we had a baby too soon. I love you with every fiber of my being and I know that I always will. I know that we will have a baby when the time is right and when One Direction takes a breather from recording and touring and signings, and when I've finished school and have my career started. I know that we're sad right now, I know that there is a lot of 'well what if it was a girl or a boy and we could've done this and this and named it this or that' but those thoughts can't keep you from being happy. We'll answer those questions the next time I get pregnant, when we're ready. There is so much to be happy about, I'm okay and I survived this, I know that I'll be okay and I know that you will be too. We have each other and that is what's important. As long as we've got each other we can do anything. So please, do not blame yourself, do not be unhappy for the rest of your life, do not let this keep you from being happy, and know that no matter what I will love you, and I am here for you and I'm not going anywhere, I'm here with you and I am happy here because here is where you are. Do you understand? I love you, infinitely, unconditionally, irrevocably."

After that, Harry seemed to be assured that things would be okay and that Nicole didn't blame him. He began to feel more like himself and was able to put space between himself and Nicole, which was needed because they were both fairly independent people.   
The media was clueless about everything, PR had said that Harry had a nasty bout of the flu and needed to recover fully before he could really get back into preforming. Nothing about Nicole was said, not about the hospital or baby at least, which she was grateful for, she really didn't want people starting up rumors or talking shit on television or in magazines, she hated all of that stuff.

With things getting back on the track to normality it was time for Harry to go away again. Tour had started in the UK so the boys were able to go to their shows and come back home afterwards, but only for awhile, until they had to go further away and driving home wasn't sensible. The time had come for the boys to be taken away from London and off to other parts of the country and world.   
There were dates set up for Nicole, Perrie, Danielle and Eleanor to see the boys when they were in America and Australia, but that was really it. Just those two countries for a few days. 

 

In the mean time Nicole finished university and went to work full time a photographer and videographer for upcoming musicians and models. Getting a job at school being a teacher wasn't looking to good at the time because no one wanted to hire someone with no experience who was also very much in the public eye. She was upset about that, she called Harry crying more than once because after spending thousands of dollars on a teaching degree no one took her seriously because of how the public media was making her look.   
But she was making good money with photography, more than she would teaching, and she enjoyed it for the time being, but she wasn't exactly planning on doing it forever. 

Harry was finding tour harder than ever. He loved his job and he loved the boys and the crew and the fans but it was hard being away from Nicole. Liam and Louis and Zayn were all going through the same thing with their girls, Niall still remained single though.

\----  
Nicole's bussing around the house, trying to find her paper samples for printing she her phone rings in the next room and she runs to go get it, sliding on her socked feet as she rounds the corner, "Hello?" She asks with a laugh in her voice.  
"Hey Nic, you sound happy."  
Nicole smiles, "I am, I was sliding on my socks. How're you babe?"  
"Actually, I kind of called because I've been feeling a bit shit." Nicole hears Harry's sigh through the phone and knows he's probably running a hand through his hair at the same time.  
"Harry, what's wrong? Are you ill?" Nicole sits down on the sofa, focusing her attention on Harry.  
"I'm not sick. I'm just… tour isn't like it used to be. I miss being home with you."  
"I miss you too, Harry. Do you want me to see if I can make a date this month?" Nicole reaches for her planner on the table and flips to the current month.  
"Uhm, well, I was talking to like Paul and he suggested having you come work with us, you know so you can be on tour with us and still have something to do."  
"Work with you or work for you? I mean, it sounds great, but the two are different things."  
Harry laughs, so Nicole, always worried about the freedom she's got and the independence she needs, "With us. You'd do like little documentaries, or video diaries and kind of follow us throughout the tour. Give the fans a chance to see what it's like to be on tour and what we do everyday."  
Nicole's smile is massive at this, before she wanted to be an English teacher she planned to go to school to be a tour manager for bands and do photography on the side. Harry's unknowingly made one of her dreams possible.  
"I can hear you smiling." Nicole can't help but laugh, "Yeah, I'm definitely smiling." Her voice is so upbeat and happy and Harry's just thrilled over that.  
"Does that mean you'll do it?" Nicole can hear the hope in Harry's voice, so sincere in everything he ever says.  
"Of course, I'd love to. When do you want me out there?"  
"Now." Harry's got a smile in his voice as he says it.  
"Well, now is a bit tricky, sweetheart, but how about Wednesday? I have a small shoot to do tomorrow and after that I'm clear since I had taken time to come see you anyway."  
"I suppose I can manage three days. I'll get your flight booked and everything and let you know more tonight. Make sure you pack a lot, basically just bring everything you own, we've got more than three months left."  
"I can do that. Harry, I've got to go, James is here to pick up his canvas prints."  
"James?" Harry asks, the jealousy in his voice completely obvious.  
"Oh, don't get so jealous. He's just a client. I love you, babe."  
Harry sighs into the phone, "Okay, I love you too, Nic."  
Nicole hangs up as she walks to the front door and James is there like she knew he would be.

\---

As promised Nicole is on a flight to America by Wednesday.   
She arrives in Sunrise, Florida the first date for the American leg of the tour.   
Security is heavy when she gets to the airport, it's been tight ever since she got attacked though so she's pretty used to it all.   
Harry's forced to stay in the car for security reasons, but he's right there when she gets in and he hugs her for about three minutes and practically puts her in his lap on the ride to the hotel. He doesn't stop touching her, hands on her hips, lacing his fingers with hers, touching her hair and her face and he's just so happy she's there because it's been four months since he's seen her and he's been worried and stressed about how she's been doing without him there, but she's okay. She's perfect, she's just as he remembers and he's happy he didn't let his memorization of her fade one bit.

They get to the hotel and Harry's trying not to pick her up and run to their room because christ, he'd just really like to kiss her until he can't breathe.  
Nicole can sense the rush he's in and giggles behind him, his hand slightly tugging hers because she can't keep up with the long strides his legs can make.  
"Harry, babe, slow it down, I'm going to be too tired to do anything if you make me run to keep up with you." There's a bit of a teasing tone in her voice, she knows how excited Harry gets sometimes.  
Harry's head ducks down, his curls covering his face and the blush covering his cheeks as he stops for a second and lets Nicole get to his side finally, "Sorry." His voice is soft and a little embarrassed.  
Nicole can feel her heart pound because he's so beautiful and she wants him just as much as he seems to want her.  
Harry keeps Nicole's pace as they finish the walk to their room, his cheeks are still pink when they get in the room and Nicole turns and presses him against the door once it shuts, "I've missed you." She brushes his curls back, he's still got the shyness in him from being embarrassed before and Nicole loves it. He's got those innocent green eyes when he looks down at her, it makes her tummy flutter with butterflies.  
Harry's first to kiss her, and they kiss for ages, until their lips hurt and end up on the bed. Nicole pulls back to take a breath she sees the deep cherry red of Harry's lips, puffy and plump and God, so fucking beautiful against his pale skin and slightly pinked cheeks.  
"You're beautiful." Nicole pushes Harry's curls off his forehead again, tracing her fingers over his face, and he just lets her. He likes the way she's always to soft and gentle with her touches when they're like this. He closes his eyes when her fingers run under his eyes and then over his eye lashes, and he keeps them closed, just feeling her touch on his skin. He's missed it so much. She's got his heart racing and his mind in a calm state, something only she can do to him.   
Nicole stops tracing her fingers over his face and lets one of her small hands rest on Harry's chest where his heart would be.  
Harry's eyes flutter open and he looks at her carefully, she's thinking about something.  
"Something's wrong." He states, he knows he's right.  
"Your heart is beating really fast." She looks at him differently than she has in ages, she got a sadness in her eyes, but she looks …scared.  
"What's wrong?" Harry asks, ignoring her previous comment.  
Nicole looks away and sits back on Harry's thighs from where she was straddling his hips.  
"I'm scared." She toys with the hem of his t-shirt, running her fingers along the seam on the bottom.  
"What are you scared of?" Harry scoots back against the pillows and sits up a bit, steadying Nicole with his hands on her hips.  
"I don't want you to be mad at me, I don't want you to think… to think that I'm broken."  
Harry can see the concern in her face, "I'd never be mad, or think you're broken. What's this about?"  
Nicole sighs and places a hand on Harry's stomach, her fingers drawing a pattern on his shirt.  
"Sex." She says boldly, looking up to him with her fingers still moving gently over his stomach.  
"Nic, that's okay. If you're not ready yet I understand. I can wait as long as you need me to. I don't think you're broken."  
"I- It's not that I'm not ready. I want to. I'm just… It's going to sound so stupid." She turns away but Harry moves and shifts to that he can bring her closer and get her to look at him again.   
With her only a few inches away from being chest to chest with him he sees the tears she's got in her eyes and running down her cheeks.  
"I don't care, please tell me." He asks, running his thumbs carefully under her eyes.  
"I was afraid you wouldn't want me because I couldn't give you our baby. I know how much you want to have a family."  
Harry's eyes go a bit wide at what she says, "No no no. Babe, of course I want you. I love you so much. It's not your fault, just like you said, it's no ones fault. I want a family, one day. And we will have one. I promise you. Don't ever think that I don't want you. You're all I want, you're perfect to me."  
Nicole nods meekly, fingers bunching in the fabric of Harry's shirt, she lets herself fall forward, her forehead against his shoulder and Harry just runs his fingers through her long hair, now even longer since the last time he'd seen her.

That night they make love, slow, passionate, and full of love. In Harry's mind he has to show Nicole how much he loves her, how he'll always love her. He shows her the way he touches her, kisses her, sucks light bruises into the skin of her neck and deeper bruises along her stomach, hips and thighs. He shows her in the way he runs his tongue along her body, and pays extra attention to the areas that make her breath catch, fingers grip his hair tighter, or her back arch up off the bed. He tells her how gorgeous she is, how beautiful and amazing she is as he presses himself into her and thrusts his hips. He watches her face as she moans and does whatever it takes to keep the sounds coming.   
Nicole is just as passionate in her movements and her whispered words. Her legs wrapping around Harry, her nails clawing at his back when he moves his hips just right. Her whispers of I love you, mixed in with the moans of his name and the "Harry, please!" She lets out when Harry gets the perfect angle. She clutches to him, breathing hard and fingernails biting into his skin until she's trembling and letting out a moan of _HarryHarryHarry_ and that's enough for Harry to climax and release, this time in a condom though.

Harry pulls out, ties his condom, tosses it in the bin and picks Nicole up. He knows she can't sleep with dry hair and she's always wobbly and weak kneed after they have sex so he brings her to the bathroom, get the shower ready and brings her in with him. He washes her hair, she washes his, it's teamwork and they giggle through it all because Harry rubs shower gel over her body and teases where she's ticklish so she does it right back on his side and under his arms and he keeps getting her back with his fingers ticking over her hips.

They dry off and get into bed, cuddle up close to one another and sleep soundly until the alarm on Harry's phone wakes them again.


	22. Chapter 22

Tour is hectic. It's busy and fast paced and there is always something to do. It doesn't take long before Nicole gets the hang of how things run day to day and when she can slip in a moment with the boys to do some filming.   
About two weeks into the American leg the boys surprise her by throwing her a little party at a restaurant because they never celebrated her graduating university.   
It's an Italian restaurant and it's really nice inside, they've got a little section of the place to themselves and it's nice to not have random people running up and asking for pictures and autographs for a while.  
They all sit and talk, asking Nicole about what she wants to do now that she's graduated, and she just says she's not entirely sure at the moment.   
They all order and Nicole feels her stomach crawl knowing the entire menu is pasta and carbs. She's healthy, she's not sick anymore, but she still keeps away from heavy carb meals knowing how she'll feel after she puts the food in her mouth and lets it sit in her stomach.  
She's tapping her fingers on her thigh and when she's not doing that her toes are tapping against the floor, she's anxious before the food even comes and she knows, she _knows_ it's bad, she hates how much she hasn't changed and she's worried about everyone else noticing she's still sick, she wants to throw up, not because she has food in her stomach but out of nerves, her stomach feels knotted and her heart is quick in her chest.

Harry glances down at her fingers tapping anxiously against her thigh before the food comes and he leans into her, "Babe, are you alright?" His voice is a whisper so only she can hear, but she still freezes a bit at being caught.  
She looks at Harry and grabs his hand, lays it against her thigh palm up and traces her finger tip against his skin spelling out, "no."  
Harry immediately looks up at her worriedly and scoots closer to her, thankful everyone else is deep in conversation as he leans in again and whispers his concern, "What's wrong?"  
"Food. I'm sorry." She hangs her head, ashamed of herself. It was supposed to be a nice night for her and she can't even join the fun because she's worried about carbs.  
"No, it's okay, I should've picked a different place. Don't worry, don't eat anymore than you feel you can. It's okay."  
Nicole feels like she may cry because Harry's so understanding and he just wants her to be okay and he keeps close to her with his big hand resting on the top of her thigh, his fingers making little patterns against the fabric of her cream colored jeans.   
She just places her hand over his and smiles a little at him, and she feels okay, for the time being at least.

When the food comes she eats, far less than everyone else, but it's something and Harry is okay with it and doesn't push. But then someone says they'd all like dessert, which is chocolate cake of some sort, and the pieces aren't small. Nicole just wants to run to the bathroom and purge before the plates are even set on the table. Harry keeps looking at her with concerned doe eyes and it fucking hurts so bad because she knows it hurts him to see her like this.   
She looks up and sees Niall smiling massively at her, he's so happy and she knows everyone else is too and she wants to be happy to. He's shoveling cake in his mouth and he's got a bit of chocolate on his right cheek and she smiles at him and touches her cheek and he gets it, smiling and his cheeks go pink as he wipes it off.  
Nicole hates this, because cake isn't a problem, but carbs and cake and plus she ate quite a bit before this… it's a problem now and she hates herself for it. It shouldn't be a problem anymore.  
But she places a bite of cake in her mouth and forces it down because everyone is glancing at her every so often and wants to pull out the tricks she used to use before when she was really sick. She'd push the food around on the plate, hold the fork by her mouth as she talked but never took a bite, cut the food as small as possible, eat one small bite and down a glass of water right after. But she doesn't. She takes a few bites, sets the fork down and sits back and when someone asks if she likes the cake she says, "It's really good, I'm really full though." And they smile and don't say anything else. 

By the end of the night Nicole is just tired, she wants to go lie down and get through the night and tomorrow without the bad thoughts she used to have and without purging.  
Except Harry keeps trying to kiss her and touch her and she wants to be okay with it, but she doesn't feel kissable or touchable right now, so she asks him to stop.  
"I just… not tonight. I'm sorry." He drops his hands from her hips and wears a hurt look, and she hates it, because she did that, she made him hurt, her wrists itch where the scars are and she just hates everything, hates that she hates, hates hating and she wants to cry and call her sister or her mom but it's late and she doesn't want to bother them.  
"Don't, please don't look at me like that." She pleads to Harry, his light green eyes are murky like he's going to cry and he is, she knows he is because she knows the way his eyes change and he tries for so long to keep himself from letting the dam break, but he's close, to close to go back and calm himself.  
"I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this." He's jabbing a finger into the corner of his eye like he can shove the tears back in if he presses hard enough.  
"I don't expect you to, you shouldn't know how. I just need you to understand that I'm not always okay, I told you I live with these things everyday, and today is one of the rough ones, tomorrow will be too. I don't know what advice to give to you to help me, I don't know what I need or what I want right now. I just know that I feel sick like I used to, my skin is crawling like I want to cut. I think I just need you to keep me from doing those things, don't let me get bad again. Please." She chokes the last word out, tears breaking past the dam and Harry takes her in his arms and holds her so close to him she can feel his heart thumping wildly in his chest.  
"I won't let you. I promise. I've got you and I love you and you're so beautiful."  
They're both crying so hard it's hard to get enough air, but neither of them can stop. Harry is at a loss for what to do or say or how to act, he just knows he has to protect her, even if it's from herself sometimes. He's so upset because he hates that she's still a little bit sick and she always will be, he just wants her to be okay all of the time.  
Nicole's upset at herself mostly, but there's a part of her that is so entirely thankful for Harry, because she knows she would be in the bathroom on her knees throwing up into a toilet if he wasn't such an understanding person and if he didn't love her so much. 

Harry gets her calmed down enough that she lets him go, he'd calmed himself as much as he could beforehand, trying to be strong for her like he knew he should be.  
He tells her she should shower and then he'll read to her but she looks at him worriedly, "I… will you stay in the bathroom with me? Please?" Harry just follows right behind her sits on the counter while she undresses and then showers. It's not hard to guess that she didn't want to left alone, she'd told Harry she used to purge in the shower if she had to when she lived with her parents. He doesn't mention that though, he stays quiet and lets her shower and when she gets out she takes care of herself, drying and dressing and then Harry walks out with her and they get into bed.  
Harry reads from a horoscope website on his iPad, Nicole all tucked up into his side and he keeps a tight enough grip on her side that his biceps actually ache with it, but he doesn't loosen his hold, not even when they fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being stupidly short, but I'm having massive writers block and really just kind of lost my ambition for this story. I'm gonna go on hiatus for a bit, and then hopefully return to this and keep it going. So no updates for awhile, but thank you to everyone who read this and commented and all that jazz, it really means a lot to me. :)  
> (also look out for a new story coming soon, i want to start something new, i just need a really good idea, so if any of you have a prompt idea you'd like for me to do just let me know and I'll look into doing it.) xx


	23. PART TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of part two, the time has lapsed and basically read on to find out what happens. Also, as for the moment, I am off of the hiatus I took with this story. I really needed some time to think about where I wanted to go next with this and I think I've found a direction. I don't know how many more chapters there will be, but expect a few. So I hope you enjoy this, and pardon any errors as I have not proof read it yet. Comment and let me know what you think or if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. xx

It'd be easy to say that things just went badly after the realization that maybe Nicole wasn't as okay as everyone had thought. It'd be easy to put it that simply because no one likes to hear the bitterness of what actually drags a person down in life. However, the events were not simply and they were not just averagely bad. They broke so many things and so many people that everything became a ball of rubber bands, so twisted and intertwined that everything was threatening to snap and fall apart at any given moment. 

So much fell apart because of Harry's management and the image they were striving so hard to create for him and the boys. The image of him dating a tatted up girl from Minnesota wasn't the one they wanted for him, even after all this time. People knew they were together, everyone knew because they didn't hide it, they didn't want to, nor could they if they had tried.   
It took months of hard work, of Nicole and Harry doing everything they could to stay together, to make it work, but with management rotting everything they seemed to touch it became to much.   
The threat of Harry losing his career if he continued to be with Nicole in the public eye was one Nicole couldn't let become a reality. She knew if she asked Harry to choose her over One Direction there would be resentment and anger in the future and she couldn't bare that. This spurred a fight, angry shouting, so many hot tears from both of them, so many hurtful words that neither of them could've ever meant in a thousand years, and so much sadness that the rest of One Direction could feel it, they thought the world could feel it. It was so heavy and so thick that no two people could've carried it alone, it consumed them all and they all walked with the weight of the split because they were a family and they knew how bad it was, they knew what they were losing and it was dreadful.

It didn't take long for management to set Harry's new image in motion. Harry couldn't even fight with them, there wasn't anything strong enough in him anymore. The boys had watched him crumble and crack in a matter of minutes after Nicole had left. They wouldn't leave him, they couldn't bare the thought of what he would do if they did, so they stayed with him in intervals, each boy taking a night to stay with him and staying the day until the next boy came to switch off.   
They watched as Harry spoke less and ate less and just became less. His smiles faded, his eyes turned from light to mossy and murky, he constantly looked like he was going to break down into tears or punch a wall.   
They watched him take everything that management piled on him without a word. He just couldn't fight anymore. There was something so much more awful than what they were doing to him and it had already happened. Nicole was gone and the look on her beautiful face was a tragedy in itself. Harry couldn't find it in him to fight management when he'd already lost the biggest fight of his life, it didn't matter. All that mattered to him was that Nicole was gone and he didn't know where she was or if he would see her again or if she was okay. He hated it, he hated it so much it ate at him every single minute of every single day and every single night and he let it because he didn't fight hard enough and he thought he deserved it.  
He thought of turning to alcohol, of going to a nightclub to take his mind off of his shitty situation, he thought of experimenting with pills to help him forget for a few hours, he thought of picking up various girls because he thought that that was what most guys would do, but he didn't. He didn't do any of that. He didn't think that he deserved a night to forget, or the luxury of escaping with pills or the false love that one night stands could offer him, nor did he want that. He didn't want to forget her, or escape from the image of her alabaster skin and chestnut-russet hair and her pale pink lips, he didn't want to cover her up with a strangers face and smell and unwanted affection. He loved her so intensely that his heart ached, no doctor or medical professional could dare to tell him that hearts can not feel pain because his did. It felt like his heart was on fire, like is was constantly seconds away from turning to ash, to just falling apart inside of his chest. He thought that maybe it if disintegrated he'd finally feel numb, finally not feel like everything was so heavy, but it never did. His heart was engulfed in flames and he couldn't extinguish it no matter what he tried. 

One Direction had taken a break in touring, they'd become big enough to have that chance at just taking a breather. They weren't out of the spot light though. They spent the time off touring being cooped up in the studio, writing and recording their next album and writing for and with other artists as well. There were interviews to go to, more people to meet and award shows to attend all in the name of publicity and fame. 

Harry did get his life together again. It never went back to normal, not for any of the boys, they were all missing a piece of their family and they all felt the gaping hole. It hurt most when someone said her name or when they saw something about her in the news or in a magazine. They dreaded the few trips they had to take to Minnesota for shows, the accents of the fans made their hearts ache, any girl that resembled Nicole hurt them, they couldn't look them in the eye sometimes because it wasn't her and they'd give so much to have her pop up in the crowd and shout out for them to see her.   
Zayn read a lot more and avoided anything that had to do with triangles because it was all just a reminder of what was missing. Niall tried to hard to keep up his sunny smiles and reassuring glances but it faded and he spent more and more time hovering over Nicole's name in his phone just wanting to beg her to come back and let everything be okay again. Liam just kind of skirted around everyone, he watched out for them as much as he could and leaned on Danielle, but it was hard to be a supportive ledge when he himself felt like his ground was shaking under him at the loss they were all facing. Louis quieted down, he hated the sadness, hated how much was gone now that Nicole was. He tried just like Niall did, he was the oldest and wanted to protect them as he thought he should but he was just as vulnerable as they were. And Harry just pretended. He spent a lot of time pretending that his heart wasn't scorching his blood and torching his insides at every single moment of the day. He faked his smiles in photos and interviews and faded into the background when it came to social events. There wasn't anyone to laugh with at his table, no one to stupid faces at across the room, no one to sneak up on him with little pokes to his sides, there was no one.   
Harry did what management told him to do. See the girls they asked him to, dress the way they asked him to, say the things they asked him to, go the places they asked him to, he did it all without a word because there was nothing to say, he hated them, hated them so much he had to grit his teeth and clench in jaw and curl his fingers into tight fists every time they talked to him, every time they called him, every time anyone mentioned them, if let himself go in front of them, they win and he would never let them win.

 

After about three months everyone realized that they may be stuck with having a gaping hole in their family. However, with a studio session and a break in writing, the boys had time to explore. This ending in Niall running through the hallway with a magazine in his hand while he screamed until he got into the studio with the boys again.

"GUYS! Look! She-She's here! She didn't leave!" He slaps the magazine down on the table in front of them and points right at the cover where a photo of Nicole walking on a sidewalk lies along with the words, "1D's Girl Still In the U.K?"  
Harry just stares at it until he quickly reached out and snatches it off the table.  
He flips to the page that the story is on and his eyes glue themselves to the page. Images of her are on both sides of the page, Harry hasn't seen her in so long, his heart feels like it's giving his lungs first degree burns.  
"What's it say, Haz?" Louis asks carefully.   
"She's in Goostrey." They all kind of furrow their eyebrows in question. Goostrey is just outside of Holmes Chapel, barely even eight minutes from where Harry grew up.  
"What else does it say?" Niall asks, peering over Harry's shoulder a little.  
"Just that she's there and some fans saw her and asked for photos but she said she'd rather not, but signed stuff for them instead." Harry's fingers linger over the largest picture of her, her hair is down and moving around from the wind, she's mustn't even know that photos are being taken of her because she looks effortless, like she's not trying to smile for them or anything.  
"I'm calling my mum." Harry pushes the magazine off his lap and quickly stands to exit the room.  
The boys watch him go before they pick up the magazine and see the photos for themselves. They're all hoping for the same thing, that she'll come back or they'll go to her, they just need her back, she's family. 

"Mum?"  
"Harry, is everything okay?" Harry pinches the bridge of his nose, he's so obvious.  
"N-not really, mum. Er, uh… Nicole, she's in Goostrey and I was wondering if you knew anything about that…"  
"I didn't, no. Harry, are you doing okay?" Harry feels his knees weaken at the concern in his mothers voice.  
"I-I'm trying, mum. I just… I need her back. I need her, mum." His voice cracks so audibly he wants to be ashamed, but the tears take over and there is no time to feel ashamed of breaking.  
"Honey, it's okay. You'll get her back, I promise. I know you will. Shhh, Harry, it's alright. Just calm down." It all makes him cry harder, reminds him of how motherly Nicole could be, how she always took it upon herself to coo him and calm him until he was sleepy and fell asleep with her fingers in his hair.  
"Harry, shhh, it's okay. C'mon, calm down." His mother is so soft, so careful that it pains him, he hates worrying her, but he can't stop crying, he feels like his heart is about to disintegrate and leave the rest of his body cold and numb and empty.  
"Harry I want you to come home. Get the boys to come down too if you want. Just come home. I'll call them if you don't, I'll make them bring you back. You need to be home. Please." Harry nods even though he's on the phone, his throat hurts from the thick lump he feels there, he needs to cry more but he's holding it in until he's off the phone.  
"I love you. I better see you soon."   
He chokes out his own "Love you, mum." before he hangs up and lets the painful sob rack through his body and slips down the wall and sets his head between his pulled up knees, wraps his arms around his legs and holds himself together as best he can.

It takes him a little over five minutes to get his tears to stop falling and his eyes wiped from the wetness, and he gets his breathing in check, enough that he can stand and hold himself up.  
He walks into the studio again and doesn't try to hide his red puffy eyes or his trembling hands, "Mum wants me to go home. She said you can all come too. I'm going to pack and go right away."  
They all nod, they know it's best for Harry to be home right now, whether Nicole is near there or not, he loves his mum and she can usually make him see some goodness in life.

The boys decide they'll come down tomorrow, except Zayn. Zayn follows right behind Harry and tells him he'll throw his own bag together and go with him tonight. Harry is thankful because he wasn't sure if he could make the trip without having to pull over to cry again.


	24. Chapter 24

Three hours later lands Harry and Zayn in Holmes Chapel, being greeted by Anne and Robin. Harry is quieter than he'd normally be on a visit home, but he hasn't been home without Nicole since he'd met her. It feels lonely even with three people watching over him constantly.  
Anne lets Harry be after a hug and kisses to his cheeks, and he appreciates it and sends himself to his old bedroom.

Anne knows Harry isn't okay and hasn't been for a number of months, but she didn't think it was this bad. She knew Harry loved Nicole, everyone who knew him knew how much he loved her, but she didn't really get the full picture until now. Nicole was Harry's smile and laughter, somewhere along the line she became his reason to do those things. She became his motivation to do what he does and smile through the hard times. She gave him strength when he felt like he had absolutely none. Seeing Harry scuttle around with that solemn look on his face broke her heart. Harry wasn't one to let people in so easily, but Nicole just slid into place with him and he didn't have time to build up walls or set boundaries, he was open with her from the start and Anne could see that it made all the difference. Now that Harry was home without Nicole tucked into his side it almost felt like a piece of him was missing, like his right leg had been cut off because they were always so attached to one another it was like they gave one another balance and support.

"Zayn, can I talk to you?" Anne taps his arm lightly to get his attention and he turns around with a nod, following her into the kitchen.  
"Want to talk about Harry?" She can see the sadness isn't just in Harry now, it's in Zayn too, in his hazel eyes and it's clear that Nicole was a bigger part of their life than any of them may have realized.  
"I do. Has he been like this as long as I assume he has?"  
Zayn slips onto one of the stools in front of the island, "Yeah. He just kind of broke. I mean, something definitely changed after Nicole miscarried, but I mean, he was okay and they were okay after some time passed. I think Nicole leaving is just breaking him everyday, he needs her. I've never seen someone love another person as much as he loves her."  
"Harry loosing that baby was one of the hardest things in his life. I can't even tell you how many times he called me in tears." Anne shakes her head, just remembering the phone calls makes her eyes sting with the threat of tears.  
"But Nicole got him through it. She just knows how to talk to him, you know? Like, she just knows how to handle him in every situation. Harry is so extreme with his moods, when he's happy he's on top of the world and when he's sad or upset he's either curled into a ball and crying or pulling back his fist to punch a wall. Nicole knew how to talk him down and how to bring him up. She was the only person who knew how to read him, she could just look at him and know if she needed to be close to him or give him space, literally she just got him like she could read his mind and she never made him sit in his sadness and she never had to wait for him to reach out for her because she knew when to be there and how to be there, Harry needs that."  
"I think all of you boys need a piece of what she offered you. I can tell that Harry's not the only one upset over this. What about you?" Anne raises her brow and looks at him seriously.  
Zayn blinks and turns his head slightly, eye contact being a bit too much right now, "Nicole was… is family. She was like my sister and best friend. I've never had a really close female friend before and she was the best one I could've asked for. She taught me so much, like how often to you meet someone younger than you that knows more about the topic you're interested in? She was someone I could talk to about all the ideas and thoughts I have and she didn't ever say "Zayn, that's stupid." She just listened and joined in and expanded on everything I told her. Without having her with us, it's like there is this massive gap in everything we do. We've all caught ourselves turning around quickly to look for her or calling out her name only to realize she's not there. I hate that this happened and that management broke them because they were so strong together. I hate management so much for hurting us like this."  
Anne can see Zayn's hands trembling on the countertop, his jaw locked tight like he's forcing himself to keep it together.  
"And the other boys? What about them?" Anne can see the tension in the crinkles of Zayn's brow, how sensitive it all is and she wants to be careful with her questions but she also needs to know these things in order to help any of them.  
"They're all the same as Harry and I. I mean, Louis is the quietest he's ever been and Liam is bordering on mollycoddling us all, but he's just projecting, he's as broken as we all are and even Danielle is at a loss for what to do to make it better. Niall is… Niall is awful. You know it's bad when the one person who practically radiates sunshine and smiles is frowning in a corner by himself. He just kind of hovers over her name in his phone like he's going to call her and ask her to come back, I know he wants everyone to be happy again, but he knows how deep this is, how broken we are right now and fixing things won't be easy with management trailing behind us."  
"Zayn, I can't promise that management will back off or let you all live freely, but I do promise you that we'll get Nicole back. I can't sit here and watch my son… my sons fall apart. You are all my family, and Nicole is practically my daughter. We'll fix this." For not being a hugger, Zayn lets Anne hug him for longer than necessary, but he appreciates it all the same. Anne is one of his many mums and sometimes he does need to be hugged by a mum even when it's not his own biological one.

Anne makes some calls, gets in touch with a friend who lives closer to Goostrey and finds out that Nicole had been in the area for business, taking photos for a local shop. She also finds out that she's not there any longer. A flight back to Tennessee brought her to stay with Ed since she no longer has a flat in Minnesota and all of her family lives in their own one bedroom flats as well. 

Zayn calls Ed, and affirms that Nicole is indeed staying with him for a bit.   
"How is she, is she okay?" Zayn asks, the worry in his voice evident.  
"She's alright. She's kind of quiet, but I think she's just trying to keep it together as long as she can."  
"Better than Haz, then."  
Ed hums like he knows, because he probably does. He gets Harry, understands his moods and personality quite well, and well enough to know that Harry is a lot more sensitive and emotional than most people would guess.

It's decided that Ed won't tell Nicole about the phone call. Zayn decides that he'll tell Harry and whatever Harry decides is going to determine what happens next.

Zayn climbs the stairs to Harry's bedroom and knocks softly on the door before entering. Harry's lying right in the middle of his bed with his hands clasped together on his stomach. 

"Haz," Zayn can hear the pitiful sound of the name as it leaves his mouth and he sits down on the corner of Harry's bed. "We've got some news, we know where she is."  
Harry looks at him curiously, his face still solemn and his bottom lip a tad more pouted than usual.  
"Where is she?"  
"Tennessee, she's with Ed since she didn't have a place in Minnesota anymore." Harry's eyes widen, part of him jealous of Ed and the other part fighting to stay on the bed and not swim across the ocean and run until he finds her.  
"Is she okay? What did Ed say?" Harry sounds like a sad toddler, like someone just made him drop his ice cream cone in the dirt.   
"She's doing alright, he said she's just been quiet."  
"But she's eating, she's not sick again right?" Harry doesn't even realize he's asking something Zayn has no knowledge of. They'd never told the boys about Nicole's past in the context of her eating disorder or Eric.  
"What do you mean, sick again, Haz?" Zayn's eyes are big and worried as Harry sits up and presses his eyes closed hard and internally scolds himself for not thinking twice.  
"She's er, um she… she used to be anorexic, it was before she met us and she got treatment for it, but she still kind of struggles with it."  
"Really? I didn't- I mean I never would've guessed because she always seemed so confident and like… god, I guess it kind of makes sense… like when we celebrated her graduation, she looked a bit miserable when we were eating didn't she?"  
Harry nods, "Yeah. That was a tough night for her. She usually does fine, but there are bad days and she knew how to handle them and I always tried to be there with her during them."  
"Was she really sick then? Before she met us?" Zayn looks like a worried parent and normally it isn't in his character to be so emotionally invested in people, but Nicole and the boys, along with his blood-related family are exceptions.  
"She was really bad, Zayn." The crack in Harry's voice is audible and harsh in the otherwise silent room, "She showed me what she looked like and it was awful, I swear she barely had enough skin covering her bones. I'm so afraid that she's sick and I mean, I'm glad she's with Ed, but he doesn't know she has all of these things. God, I just want her to be okay." Harry's got tears falling down his cheeks, his voice broken up with hiccups as he speaks and Zayn feels his own heartstrings being tugged just looking at how broken Harry is.  
"I know you love her, I've never seen two people love each other like you guys do. I know she wants all those things you do, Haz. I know you never really saw the way she looked at you, but everyone else did. I swear you were the center of her world, she looked at you like you were everything and I've never seen someone look at another person like that, not even my own parents. Nicole is special, Harry, she knew exactly what you needed, when you needed it and how to give it to you. She loved you, and still does I know she does, because what you guys had doesn't go away. That's why we're going to Tennessee."  
Harry glances seriously at Zayn, "You think she'll take me back?"   
"She may be one of the most unpredictable people I've ever known, but she's always been predictable when it comes to you. She'd do anything for you and I know you'd do the same for her, so you need to go to her and get her back because neither of you will be happy until that happens."  
Harry manages a small slightly worried smile, but a smile nonetheless, "She doesn't know we know where she is, does she?"   
"No. I told Ed to just keep quiet and whatever you decided you wanted to do would determine what happens."  
"Thanks. I think we should just stay the night here and go in the morning. I want to talk to my mum before we go."  
Zayn gives him a pat on the knee and a small smile before he leaves him, Harry is still a mess, but with the prospect of seeing Nicole soon he seems a bit lighter.

A talk with Anne brings out Harry's inner preteen. His voice is high pitched from the tightness of the threat of tears, he feels like he's just shattering all over the place and no one will be able to put him back together the right way.  
"Harry, you just need to calm down. You're putting yourself in a proper state and I can't have you flying half way across the world like this."  
Harry lets out a choked laugh, "I know, mum. I'm just afraid she won't want to work this out, she got so many bad things said about her and I know how hard it was for her, I hate that that's what she has to put up with just by being affiliated with me. I don't want her to hurt, you know? I don't want to be the one hurting her, she doesn't deserve that."  
"Harry, she would not be the person I thought her to be if she didn't at least try to work it out. I've seen you two together and I know she loves you and I know she trusts you. Did you know that the second time you came home to visit with her, Gemma asked her if she minded all those things people say and if it complicates things with you two?" Anne raises an eyebrow at her son, it's rare for her to be so serious with Harry, but there's always a time for it she supposes.  
"No. What did she say?" Harry's eyes are wide and sad, the green of them light but murky and shining with the wetness of tears.  
"She told Gemma that it didn't matter. She said that all of those comments and articles and tweets don't matter because in comparison to the good things, they're irrelevant. She said that if all she has to deal with is people on the internet and in magazines that she doesn't know and never will, then she'd be okay as long as she got to be with you. She said that having you is all she wants, no matter what happens, and if she ever lost you she wouldn't be able to find someone else because you're it. She even said that you were her lobster." Anne cracks a smile, which makes Harry smile back.  
"Like in Friends…" Harry's broken sob interrupts his ability to speak for a moment, "God, mum I really need to go. I have to. I can't wait. I promise I'll come back, right away. I just need to go do whatever I have to to get her back." Harry's vigorously wiping at his eyes and cheeks and under his chin trying to dry the dampness from his skin as he stands up.  
"Go grab your bag as well as Zayn, and I'll get you two some tea ready for the road." Harry nods and obeys his mother, running up the stairs to his bedroom and then to Zayn's, shaking him awake and pulling him out of bed with hurried half sentences, "Leaving. Up up, get up! Gonna go get her."  
Zayn is up and ready in seconds, throwing on a pair of pajama bottoms and an oversized hoodie and shoving all the things he brought back into his duffel bag.  
They practically fly down the stairs into the kitchen, Anne is holding to cups of tea in her hands and they kiss her cheek, thank her and Harry adds a "Love you, Mum" before Anne is shooing them out the door with a holler of, "Don't come back until you've got her!" Harry is actually smiling now, the adrenaline in his veins is giving him some sort of weird confidence and mind set that, yeah everything will turn out okay.


	25. Chapter 25

It's pitch black outside when they arrive at Heathrow airport and the soonest flight to the U.S is in an hour and will land them in Louisville, Kentucky, but hell, it's close enough and he'd drive a million miles for her.  
They quickly get their tickets and get themselves situated for a 45 minute wait near the terminal.  
Harry's leg is bouncing when he sits down and his hands are tapping against his thighs like he's just eaten thirty pixie stix.   
"Haz, calm down. We've got hours on a plane and then even more in a car, I can't deal with you being high on adrenaline the entire time." Zayn's tone is filled with hints of laughter, so Harry doesn't get too offended.  
Harry stops the jiggling of his leg and the incessant beat he'd been tapping on his thighs and then lolls his head toward Zayn, "I'm so fucking nervous. I haven't been nervous around her since… since like, the first time we had sex. Jesus." Harry propels forward into a bend at his waist to drop his head into his hands and tugs at his hair with his fingers.  
Zayn pats his back like it'll actually do something for Harry's nerves, "Didn't need to know about my sister having sex, so thanks for that," Zayn's sarcasm is grade-A in that moment and then he adds, "But seriously, Haz, she's so in love with you that I cannot even for a second believe that she won't be in your arms within a number of hours."  
Harry is staring at him, has been since he opened his mouth, but there is something different in the look he's giving, Zayn.  
"What, Harry? St-"  
"You called her your sister… you think of her as your sister?" Harry looks like he's about to cry again, but also like he's so happy over this revelation that it's his first reaction to cry tears of joy.  
"Yeah, I mean she's like a best friend and a sister, you know? … well, probably not the sister part, but yeah. She's always there for us, Haz, takes care of all of us and you and I and the boys are a family, and she's our family too." Zayn watches a smile spread across Harry's face and couldn't be happier to see it so genuine and bright again.  
"I… I know. I mean, I get it. I always kind of thought she was like a mum 'cause she just did things that she never had to and did them because she wanted to. She always made sure I was okay, that I had everything I needed and like, I didn't realize how much I needed that until I didn't have it or have her checking in on me to see if I was alright or that I got to wherever we had to go safely. Like, even when she wasn't with us, she was. I was never without her, not like this." Harry runs a hand through his hair, which is already so quaffed up from the many times he's pushed it back off his face today that he looks a little mad.  
"I know, Hazza, she was like that for us too. Except, we usually got texts or phone calls where she'd ask us to make sure you don't forget your favorite shirt in the hotel again or that if you were moping around we'd promise to make you call her." Zayn smiles at him, he knows how hard this is on Harry, but he also knows that Nicole loves him so much that it's probably physically painful and that she will take him back, whether it takes minutes, hours or days, they will always end up together.  
Harry smiles at him softly and before he can open his mouth again their flight is being called for boarding so they hop up and make their way to board and enter the terminal into the plane and then find their seats. They shove their duffels up in the carry-on area as that's all they've got with them and sit down.  
There is barely anyone even on the plane and Harry is thankful for that, as is Zayn, but they don't mention it to one another.

They spend most of their flight in silence, both of them occupied, Zayn has his headphones on and Harry's watching a movie, "We Bought A Zoo" and he ends up crying and attempting to discretely wipe his eyes while looking out the window.  
The flight is long and boring, so they both end up getting some sleep in as well, and it's well needed since they have to drive from Louisville to Nashville.

They're a bit sleepy and wobbly as they get off the plane, Harry's eyes are drooping and Zayn looks like he's carrying cinderblocks in his shoes from the way he's stumbling and sluggishly moving along.  
They fight their exhaustion with two RedBulls and the creeping adrenaline that they both get as they pick up a car and start driving.  
Harry takes the wheel and Zayn guides him with directions from the google maps app on his iPhone, frequently shouting "WE MISSED THE FUCKING EXIT! …oh wait, no, never mind!" Which he receives a death glare from Harry every single time.

Thirty minutes before they arrive Zayn makes Harry pull over so they can switch seats. Harry's leg had been bouncing up and down when he'd been on cruise control and Zayn was a bit spooked over it, and he knew Harry would probably panic or speed or go completely batshit and do something crazy like change his mind and make them go back to England without Nicole.  
Harry's back to leg bouncing and hands tapping on his thighs once he's in the passenger seat, the anxiety on his face is enough to tell Zayn that Harry really is freaking out, he's not seen Harry this freaked out since X-Factor where he'd throw up from nerves before they had to preform.

"Haz, calm it down, it's going to be fine." Zayn tries to be reassuring, but he's pretty positive that Harry's so sucked into his anxiety that nothing he says will get him to chill out.  
"Call Ed." He says seriously and Harry looks at him for a moment before fumbling to get his phone out of his trousers pocket.  
He's on the phone within a minute, "Ed? Yeah, Uh, we're like fifteen minutes away."  
"…"  
"Don't tell her, please."  
"…"  
"Alright, thank you. I'll see you in a few."  
"…"  
"Thank you, again. Love you too."

Harry is smiling as he hangs up, he and Ed are really close and it's so nice to see him and talk to him when he gets the chance. Hopefully having Ed there will defuse any tension between himself and Nicole.

Harry texts Ed when they're pulling up to his house, and Ed tells him to knock on the door so it seems less planned.  
Harry feels guilty though, one because he knows it's going to be ambush-esqu no matter how they try to plan otherwise, and two because he realizes that the other boys, nor management have any idea where he and Zayn are. He makes a note in his head to text the boys later and thinks, _fuck management_ before he opens the car door and feels how wobbly his knees are from his nervousness.

He and Zayn leave their bags in the car and walk up to Ed's house. Harry is hesitant as he prepares to knock so Zayn elbows him and does it himself. Ed comes to the door with a slightly nervous smile like he's kind of wary of what exactly is going to happen once Nicole finds out Harry is here.  
However, Ed is Ed and manages to be calm and cool about the whole thing, his smile stretches across his face as he greets them, "Hey, good to see you, Haz. You too, Zayn." He opens the door further for them and lets them step in.  
He pulls Harry toward him by the arm and whispers, "She's in the kitchen, she's gotten crafty out of boredom." He laughs softly over it and Harry smiles because, yeah, that's his girl.  
Ed decides that he'll let Harry handle it from there, not wanting to get in the middle or get on Nicole's bad side for letting Harry come to his house.

Harry takes a few moments to calm himself down and get himself together.  
Before he's even stepped foot into the kitchen he sees Nicole sitting at a medium sized kitchen table with a bunch of art supplies surrounding her, she's got a big square of canvas in front of her and she's got her paintbrush working over it slowly and with precise movements, it smells like acrylics quite strongly now that he actually takes a breath.  
He steps in and gets a little closer to her, but not close enough that she looks up, she just makes a slow line across the canvas as she speaks up, "Ed, who was at the door?" She still doesn't look up, she finishes her line and swirls her brush in turpentine quickly, her head pops up once there has been an abnormal amount of silence since she asked her question.  
She looks absolutely shocked, frozen in her movement for a moment before her eyes get so big Harry knows he's without a doubt surprised her with his arrival.  
"W-What are you… w-what are you doing here?" Her voice is shaky and Harry feels so bad for having to come here this way, without her even half expecting it, she's not keen on surprises and he knows that.  
She's still barely moved, only enough to drop her paintbrush right in the middle of her canvas, messing up the paint there.   
"I was hoping that we could talk." Harry is surprised that his voice is as controlled as it is, he can feel his hands trembling and his knees feel like they're about to give out. He's not seen her in months, not in person anyway, and he thinks she's so beautiful. Her hair is up on the top of her head, all messy in a bun and she's barely got any makeup on, just enough so that her eyelashes are dark behind her glasses. The sleeves of her oversized plaid shirt are rolled up to her elbows and she got paint all over her hands and forearms and even on her right cheek and a stripe of dark blue on the side of her neck. She's absolutely beautiful and Harry just wants to take a picture of her and save it for when he needs to see her most.  
They just stare at each other for a while, Nicole is so intense in her stare that Harry feels even more nervous. He silently worries about what his hair looks like and if he looks as exhausted as he feels.  
And then she blinks and Harry can see the glint of wetness that slips down her cheek by the way the light overhead is hitting her, he hates himself.  
"Sit. Uhm, just- move that stuff." Harry nods and moves as quickly as he can without falling over himself, he carefully moves the papers and paints off the chair diagonal from her and puts them on the table.  
"What did you want to talk about?" Her eyes are darting across his face and he knows she probably feels like a caged animal, but she's not one to flee and he's thankful for that.  
"Everything. I wanted to apologize for all the things I said to you out of anger, and I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at management for making this all so hard. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I didn't try harder or work harder to make it better. I'm sorry for letting you go when that was the one thing I never ever wanted to do. I wanted to tell you that I'd do anything to never be away from you again."  
His voice is wavering, unsteady and he doesn't even know how much longer he'll manage to keep it that way before he's hiccuping and sobbing like a baby.  
Nicole looks away from him, stares out the large window in front of her, behind Harry, for a moment.  
"Wanted… you wanted to do those things. What about now? What do want now?" Harry can see the wall she's got up, it's thick and made of bullet proof glass and he wants to go run into oncoming traffic for being shitty enough to make her close herself from him. She didn't even do that when they first met, she'd always been open with him, having her put up this emotional barrier is killing him.  
He takes a breath and feels his body shaking with anxiety and nerves, "I honestly just want to tell you how much I love you and let you know that I've never been more miserable in my life. I need you so fucking bad that it scares me sometimes. I feel like someone has ripped off one of my arms, I feel like I'm missing this massive part of me now. I hate that I didn't fight harder for you, I hate that I let you leave because that was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I love you. I love you so much, and I would do anything for you. I've only been without you for a few months and I already feel like my entire life has just been teetering on the edge of being sucked into a black hole, I've never been so lost in my life. I can't imagine never having you in my life again. I swear to God, I promise you that I will always love you and I will not stop trying to make this up to you. I just need you in my life, so badly, Nic. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I will never stop. Please just try with me, to make this work."  
Nicole looks like she's caught between punching him in the face and gathering him up into her arms and Harry is completely unsure of what she's going to do or say.  
She looks away from him again, her eyes focused outside as she starts to speak, "I want you to know, that I have never been so hurt in my whole life." She turns in her seat a little and faces him, she's got tears down her cheeks and the paint on her face is mixing in with the wetness and Harry wishes he had the right to go to her and wipe her eyes, but he doesn't, not anymore.  
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, because we both said things we didn't mean, I just want you to know. I've never been so hurt because I've never loved someone as much as I love you, and I've never cared about the things someone has said like I do with you. I want you to know that I am mad at you, but not for the things you said, but for the things you didn't say. You didn't tell me you loved me before I left, you never called me or texted me to see if I was okay or where I went. I may have been the one who walked out the door but you disappeared just as much as I did. And I know I could've been the one to call, but I knew you had people, Harry. You have all the boys and your family only a few hours away. You left me and I didn't have anyone. I was an ocean away from my family and I don't have friends like you do, you know that. I've got you and the boys, but they're your friends first. I'm sad because neither of us tried hard enough. Management was ruining us from the start and neither of us knew how far they would go, but they went far enough to break us and I hate that we let them, we allowed them to hurt us and we shouldn't have. I'm sad beca-" Her voice cracks and she stops talking for a moment, something close to a whimper escapes her mouth and she hangs her head and looks down at her lap, "I'm sad because I promised myself that if I ever loved someone the way i love you, I would never let them go and would never let anything take them away from me because I've already lost someone in the worst way I could have and I know I couldn't have done much to stop that from happening, but I regret not doing something, not seeing what i should have and I never wanted to live with that kind of regret again. I doesn't always matter if you lose someone to death or whether you fade away or just walk out of each other lives, you still lose that person and seeing someone you once loved moving on with their life hurts nearly just as bad as attending someones funeral."  
Harry up out of his seat and kneeling on the ground in front of Nicole before he even realizes he's moved himself from his chair.  
He takes her hands in his and rests them on her knees that are pressed together, "I want you to know that I didn't call or text because I didn't think that I had that right anymore. I didn't think I was allowed to, because I had hurt you. I didn't think that you would want me to do that or that because we weren't together that it wasn't an option. It sounds stupid now and I'm so sorry for being so dumb. I'm so sorry I've hurt you and that you're crying now, and I actually hate myself for making you sad, I can't even tell you how sorry I am and how much I hate myself for letting this happen."  
Nicole is shaking her head slowly, like she's trying to ask him to shut him up," "Stop. Don't say that. Please." She hiccups and that whimper comes again and Harry's heart feels like it's just fallen onto the floor and is bleeding out, he wants this whole thing to stop being so awful and sad and terrible.  
"Don't say you hate yourself," She takes one of her hands away from his and reaches out to wipe away the wetness from his cheeks, "Don't hate yourself, please don't. I don't hate you. I'm just sad that all of this happened." The pad of her thumb swipes under each of his eyes, one at a time and he lets them flutter closed as she touches him, "I love you, Harry." Harry opens his eyes and looks up at her, she's smiling softly and even with the paint and tears on her cheeks she's still the prettiest girl he's ever seen and he's seen loads of girls in his life, so he thinks that that's saying something.  
"I love you too, Nic." She smiles a little wider and her eyes don't look so sad, "I also got paint all over your face." She breaks out into a huge smile and Harry feels like he's just been filled up with sunshine and sweets.  
He laughs and squeezes her hand a little bit tighter in his, "I don't care. I'm just glad that you're smiling." She blushes, because she always does when he gets sweet on her.  
"Does this mean that management is going to be really really mad at us soon?" Nicole's got a smirk on her face and Harry just wants to kiss her so badly his body aches with it.  
"I think that it very much does."   
They both smile like idiots at one another, Harry's so overwhelmed and happy that she doesn't hate him and still loves him that it makes fill full, like if there was more love pouring out of Nicole then he'd end up with an overdose.

Harry kisses her lightly on the lips before either of them move an inch, her lips taste just the way they always had and the smell of acrylics makes him feel a little woozy with how overpowering the fumes of it and the turpentine are, but he still catches her rainy perfume and nearly cries with how much he's missed it.  
Nicole pulls back with a smile and cups his face in one of her small hands, brushing her thumb over his cheek, Harry thinks she can see right through him, can read his mind and everything he's thought since they've been apart by the way she looks at him until she giggles and ducks her head away, her hand falling to his chest, "your face is covered in purple paint." Harry can only laugh and smile, so thankful that she's still his girl, she hasn't changed, not even after everything they've been through.

Nicole finally gets up and drags Harry along to the bathroom and hops up onto the counter and has Harry stand between her legs, "I may have to scrub your cheeks a bit," she laughs and wets a washcloth before wiping at Harry's face. He just stares at her while she rubs the cloth over his cheeks and chin, he thinks her eyes are the most welcoming green he's ever seen and that just standing in front of her has never made him feel more at home.   
She sets the washcloth down and presses a kiss to the pinked skin of his cheek, "All clean," she says and Harry smiles at her and feels like a child that just got a lolly from the doctor. 

"Alright, now I need to shower. I won't be long." She hops down from the counter and catches the way Harry's eyes turn a bit sad and his face kind of falls as the prospect of leaving the same room she's in.  
She kisses his lips and lets it last a little longer than their first, "Just take your clothes off and get in, christ, your sad eyes could get me to do anything." Harry just smiles like a goofball and practically rips his shirt off and stumbles a bit as he tries to get out of his jeans. Nicole just laughs at him and calmly undresses herself.  
She shoos Harry into the shower and he lets her wash the paint off her arms and face as he stands behind her and waits.   
He watches her wet her hair and rub at the paint on her arms and watches the stream of water fall over her skin. He nearly forgot how pale her skin was, how he could always see the blue veins in her arms and suddenly he notices the sharpness of her collar bones and then her hip bones and her hips don't seem as curvy as before, "Nic," he breathes her name and can't stop himself from reaching out and taking her into his arms, she lets out a startled squeak but says nothing.  
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Harry mumbles the apologies into her soaked hair, he loves her so much, no matter what she looks like, but he worries so much about her losing weight and not eating that any change in her body makes him nervous and scared.  
"Harry, why are you apologizing, everything is fine." Her hands run down his back and her fingers dance over his spine, he feels like he'll never know how to love her enough to make her troubles disappear.  
"It's not fine," Harry says, fighting tears as he steps back a bit and runs his thumb over her hips, "your hips weren't like this before, you lost weight, Nic… I'm so sorry."  
"Harry," Harry feels like he can't look at her, so he doesn't, until she takes his face in both of her hands and makes him, "Harry, I am okay. I have lost weight, but it's nothing that you've done. Sure my appetite has been a little suppressed, but I'm not sick again. My weight fluctuates, living with Ed makes it a little hard to eat what I normally do without having to say that I can't eat what he does without triggering all the bad things, but I am okay. I haven't thrown up, or gone without meals at all, Ed and I eat dinner together nearly every night that he's here."  
Harry just nods his head and Nicole lets her hands drop from his face before he speaks again, "I love you." Nicole smiles, "I love you too, now bend a little so I can wash your hair," Harry bends at the waist to accommodate her height and she lathers his hair up with her fruity smelling shampoo and he can't help the stupid smile on his face as he stares down at her feet and quickly shuts his eyes when he feels the soap running down toward his eyes.  
Nicole rinses his hair, conditions it, rinses again and Harry does hers as well, both of them feeling like everything is how is should be now.

They finish their shower and after drying and dressing again they go and find Zayn and Ed in the living room watching Game of Thrones.  
The two boys just look at them for a moment before breaking out into sly grins like they knew exactly what would happen from the start.  
"So, everything is back to normal then?" Ed asks with a smirk, eyeing Harry and the love-sick expression he's got covering his whole face.  
"Yeah, we're good," Nicole sits down on the far end of the sofa, leaving room for Harry between her and Zayn.  
Harry looks at her a bit funny before sitting down in the open spot and after a moment he lifts her from her spot, scooches himself over and puts her right in his lap and wraps him arms around her. She just leans back into him and kisses his cheek, the other boys give them a knowing look that also says, "thank god this worked out, we would've crumbled if it hadn't" because both of them know how much Harry depends on Nicole and how much they depend on Harry and how the two of them make everything so much more sturdy for everyone in their lives.


End file.
